How to Avoid First Date Mistakes & Blind Date Blunders… And Have Her Go Home With You TONIGHT
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Congratulations! You’ve got a date tonight with a girl you’ve never met in person…
Whether your buddy hooked you up or you met a girl online, the moment has finally come…
You’re about to meet your date and you might be nervous as hell. (I always am!)
Will she be your type?
Is she short, tall, thin, athletic?
Will you get catfished?
So many questions, so many uncertainties.
As the sole creator of Sofia Gray’s erotica blog with over 15 years experience writing and working with clients in the adult and sex toy industry, I’ve seen a LOT of first dates…
And these days, with friends and online apps being the #1 & #2 ways of meeting potential dates, most of these dates start out as “blind” dates, or dates with people you haven’t met before in person.
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I’ve learned a few key facts:
Most important is that while you can’t control who your date is or how they’ll act, you can control your own behavior.
You are master of your date’s destiny.
You determine if it ends early, or heads home for hot sex…
Today I want to go over 11 things that could make or break your first date.
So, listen up and don’t make these key mistakes:
1) Don’t Show Up Late
This one needs little explanation: don’t show up late. It’s just plain rude.
It shows your date that not only do you not respect her time but that you don’t care about her feelings.
In short, it makes you look like an inconsiderate prick.
In fact, show up a few minutes early to guarantee you don’t leave her waiting. Get a table, order her a drink, and wait with your most charming smile.
2) Don’t React Too Much to Her Appearance
Now that you’re ready and waiting for your date, it’s the moment of truth. For the love of God, when she walks in, don’t react too strongly.
This can really go either way. If she’s unbelievably attractive, avoid drooling, stammering over your words, or getting a boner.
On the flip side, if she’s not quite your type, don’t let it show.
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After all, your mother always taught you that beauty is on the inside. Give your date a chance.
Even if she may not be what you expected on the outside, your next great love could be walking through the door, and she’d like to see you acting like a gentleman.
Or it could be this girl’s best friend… and if you both agree that you’re not a love match, you could agree to be friends that set each other up with other friends…
3) Don’t Come on Too Strong
So, you like what you see.
Your blind date is not only gorgeous but intelligent, sexy, and she seems to like you too.
While this is all well and good, you don’t want to come on too strong. Not only does this make you look desperate, but you might scare her away.
Take things slowly. Ask her if you can walk her home but don’t ask to come upstairs. (Although sex on the first date isn’t such a bad thing).
Ask her on a second date. Try dinner, a movie, or a party — save the play parties for a third, fourth, or fifth date.
4) Don’t Put Yourself Down
Confidence is sexy.
Self-deprecating behavior is not.
For most guys, this is a defense mechanism. You get nervous and you start putting yourself down. Knock it off!
Don’t focus on your shortcomings. Instead, talk about your accomplishments and the things you’re proud of. Discuss your job, family, or cool adventures you’ve taken.
Just be careful not to cross the line from confident to cocky…
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5) Don’t Talk Too Much
There’s nothing worse than a date who won’t shut up. While it’s a good thing to tell your date about yourself, it’s not good to completely dominate the conversation.
This is another common mistake and something guys do when they’re nervous. Avoid trying to fill the awkward silences by rambling on and on about yourself.
Even if you’re not talking about yourself but rambling on about nonsense, your date is sure to get bored and zone out. That blank look on her face is not fascination. She’s likely thinking about what kind of ice cream she’ll have and what she’s gonna watch on Netflix after this horrible date is over.
Take breaks from chattering to sip your drink, eat your food, and let your date get a word in edgewise.
Speaking of which…
6) Don’t Forget to Ask Questions
One way to get the conversation going is to ask questions.
If your date is shy or quiet, ask her something that requires an answer.
You can also use this technique when you find yourself making mistake #5 on this list. Shut yourself up by tossing the conversation ball in her court.
DO ask her about her family, work, hobbies, or places she’s traveled.
DON’T ask her about her relationship history, number of sex partners, or bra size. Remember, it’s not an interrogation, it’s a conversation, so avoid grilling her.
7) Don’t Turn the Conversation Into a Debate
Never talk about religion and politics. Your mother taught you this lesson when you were old enough to talk and she did it for a reason.
These two topics of conversation never end well — especially on a blind date. Not only are they boring AF, but chances are, the convo will quickly escalate from friendly chatter to a full-blown debate.
Now isn’t the time to air your political and religious views. Does it really matter, anyway? Not unless you plan to pursue a serious relationship.
Right now, things are fresh and new. In fact, they’re in the embryo stages so don’t get ahead of yourself. Outside of these subjects, just avoid arguing with your blind date altogether.
If you don’t agree with something she’s saying, try changing the subject.
8) Don’t Drink Too Much
Drinking too much alcohol on a blind date can lead to a world of trouble.
First off, if you do get lucky, the last thing you want is Whiskey dick.
Second, no one wants to be on a date with a sloppy drunk.
It’s fine to relax and throw back a few beers but it’s not okay to turn into a belligerent asshole who can’t walk from the table to the bathroom without tripping over his own two feet.
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You might also say or do things you either regret or can’t remember.
Pace yourself and if you feel yourself getting too buzzed, swap your next drink for a glass of water.
9) Don’t Talk About Your Ex
Ah yes, the ex-file. No, we’re not talking about Scully and Molder. We’re talking about your ex-girlfriend.
Like assholes, everyone has an ex (or 12 – that’s exes, not assholes — that would be weird). Your blind date doesn’t need to hear about them.
Even if she asks you about your most recent relationships, keep your responses short and sweet. Don’t badmouth your ex either. Not only is it in poor taste, but it makes you look resentful.
Your date may wonder if you’re really over your ex or if that’s how you talk about all women.
Whenever possible, avoid this subject at all costs on a first date.
10) Don’t Talk About the Future
Do you believe in love at first sight? Are you completely smitten by your date? Are you ready to call your mom and tell her you’ve finally met “the one”?
Wait! Slow your roll, Romeo.
You just met this girl and chances are, she’s not ready to pick a wedding date and name your future children. Don’t ask her to move in, don’t question her about her feelings on marriage, or anything else that sends up red flags…
If things progress well, you’ll eventually want to make sure your values and future plans align, but that time isn’t now.
11) Don’t Forget to Touch Her…
I know! That sounds counter-intuitive, right?
Society has trained you that you can’t/shouldn’t try and get physical with a girl the first time you meet.
But let me tell you…NOT touching a girl on a first date is a BIG mistake!
I can’t tell you how many first dates I’ve been on with a guy where I’m attracted to him… we’re having a great time…
And if he made a move…I’d have been down…but then he NEVER tries to get physical with me.
It’s frustrating!
Us girls never want to make the first move…
I mean… if we make the first move we run the risk of being labeled a slut!
(This has happened to pretty much all my girlfriends…)
So it’s crucial for women that we feel secure, that we feel wanted…
And the most reliable indicator of that is when you touch a girl…
When you do… not only is it a flashing “Go” sign that lets me know that it’s ok to do some touching of my own…
Like putting my hand on your leg…
Or even going a little further under the table at the restaurant… 😉
But also it feels really good!
And I have to say… these 3 seemingly “friendly” touches you’re about to discover…always seem to move the ball forward toward sex.
