Maybe it’s the so-called, lasting taboo of the dominant and submissive relationship or the insecurity that many men hide behind, but the psychology around sexual dominance is one that’s never been talked about as much as it should be.
Hi, I’m Ruwando — a sex expert and sexual domination aficionado.
Around 17 percent of women reported trying bondage. And a 2005 survey conducted by Durex reports that 36 percent of adults in the United States use masks, blindfolds, and bondage tools during sex, compared to 20 percent worldwide.
The main reason most women want to be dominated is cultural. Because more and more women are taking control of their day to day lives, and embracing their own sexualities…
It feels good for her to “let go” — otherwise known as being dominated.
What Women Really Want In a Man—and Why Becoming a Dom Can Get You There
Now that you’re starting to get what I’m saying…
…let’s acknowledge the fact that you’re in a tricky position.
The modern man has to walk the mean streets of life somewhere between the traditional roles of the genders.
You’ve got to strike the sweet spot between being the kind of guy women call a “Tool” and the kind of guy women call a “Pushover.”
And neither of these dudes is very successful in the bedroom.
The Tool might seem like an alpha, but in reality he’s insecure. He might try to boss women around and act like he’s the toughest dude in town.
But It’s clear pretty quickly that his toughness is fake.
And, let’s face it, with such bad people skills he probably isn’t having great sex.
He might act (and even look) like he does porn… But nothing kills the mood between the sheets like fronting.
She’ll be turned off by you right away if you don’t deliver on that Alpha promise…
The Pushover is just as bad. Even if she’s a confident, strong woman, she doesn’t want a man who lets her push him around.
That just isn’t hot.
And while the Pushover might luck out with a few strong-willed women in the bedroom, these encounters are sure to be short and unsatisfying.
She’s gonna get bored of a doormat really fast.
There is almost nothing less attractive to a woman than a guy who follows her around and expects her to make every decision—where to eat, what to do on the weekend, what sexual position to try tonight.
You might think being “nice” like this is the way to her bedroom and even her heart, but think again.
On the other hand, being bossy without taking her desires into account is just as big of a turnoff to women.
A guy who aggressively calls all the shots just looks insecure. In the end, he’s no different than the Pushover.
So. She doesn’t want a Tool. She doesn’t want a Pushover.
She wants a thoughtful Dom.
She wants confidence. On the streets, and between the sheets.
A confident man—and a good Dom in the bedroom—is totally fine with her choosing the restaurant, some of the time. That’s only fair. Plus, he’s confident enough to admit that sometimes he has no preference!
A confident man is totally fine with her taking the lead in bed if she’s feeling energetic and frisky.
But a confident man is also assertive.
Maybe she’s had a long day. You’ve decided to order sushi.
A confident man pays attention to her mood. Does she seem tired? Grab that menu. Order what you already know she likes. Maybe throw in something new as a surprise.
Don’t sit around and wait for her to do the work yet again, and also don’t bowl her over without paying attention to her preferences.
As it goes with sushi takeout, it goes in the bedroom.
Build your confidence, your listening skills, and cultivate balance in your life.
How to Implement Sexual Dominance Everywhere You Go (Even in Public!)
I already mentioned that sexual dominance can be found everywhere — even outside of actually having sex.
Maybe you’ve seen the bartender who tells the lone lady at the bar what she’s going to drink… without asking her.
Or in the same vein, maybe you’ve seen a man order a drink for his date.
When you see someone being seemingly aggressive and dominant and you can tell that it’s working, it’s because he really paid attention to what she wanted.
Hopefully, this is the case more often than not — it’s important to keep in mind that listening is one of the keys as well.
So if you’re on a date, don’t order her a red wine if you know she likes whiskey.
Earlier, I wrote about understanding limits — I can’t emphasize this enough.
This philosophy should begin to evolve as you better understand your role as the “dom.”
And the last component of leading her is to pioneer into unexplored territory.
Does she like having her hair pulled? Pull her hair a little harder the next time you’re in bed. Watch her reaction and respond accordingly.
Or maybe it’s time to swoop her off of her feet in the middle of the afternoon and take her like your prize for some middle-of-the-day-sex.
Have you ever surprised her with a bouquet and a surprise dinner date?
Or maybe a message to let her know just how much she means to you?
How do these kinds of surprising acts usually go over?
Probably pretty well, I’m guessing.
So begin to translate these leading actions into the bedroom with the mindset that these sexual surprises will mean a lot to her.
In relationships, knowing where to go and what to do — without asking or being told — shows her that you’ve been listening and that you’re the kind of man she wants in bed.
Now Put It All Together…
In a lot of relationships, one partner hides something from the other. For example, a lot of women are hesitant to open up about their dirty sexual fantasies.
A lot of that simply stems from her own reservations. It’s not easy to open up to another person, regardless of how committed she is to you.
She might be afraid that you’ll reject her idea, and nobody enjoys feeling rejected… especially when it comes to intimate subjects.
So break that pattern by simply following these steps.
At the end of the day, every man has the ability to be a good “dom.” However, you can’t just jump into it right away.
Pros are considered pros because they’ve got the experience that comes with time-tested tricks. Trust me on this one.
And remember, these three keys span across all sorts of relationships.
You can start implementing these keys at any point in your relationship as well.
Whether it’s the first time you’re sleeping together or the hundredth, you can begin to put these three keys into practice at any point.
These keys are short and sweet:
Approve of her desires…
Listen to her words and physical signs…
And lead her to a mind-blowing orgasm.
Pretty short and sweet, isn’t it?
These three simple steps will make sure you know exactly what you’re doing. So run through them in your head a couple of times, and make sure you’ve got it down pat.
And remember — have fun! This is about your pleasure, too.
Is Sexual Domination Really This Easy?
Sexual domination doesn’t have to be “taboo” or an off-limits conversation topic at a dinner party. In fact, more and more people are embracing it as “normal.”
As I’ve mentioned — and hopefully you’ll agree — these keys to understanding the psychology of sexual dominance are just a hop and a skip away from understanding the psychology of relationships themselves.
As sex is such a huge part of meaningful relationships — both short-term and long-term — the concepts of approval and listening are imperative. They’re absolutely necessary for the non-sexual parts of engaging and communication with the woman you’re with.
Never forget that, and you’re golden.
Sex should be exciting for both of you, even if that means you have to work a little harder to fully communicate with her.
Because the truth is, sexual dominance (and the psychology behind it) can be difficult to understand if you don’t fully grasp the principles behind it.
A lot of men fail to fill the role of the “dom” simply because they don’t have the necessary knowledge and practice.
So after following through with these keys, you’ll unlock her naughtiest sexual desires… and be the best she’s ever had. Point blank.
But are there any specific moves you can use to take her over the edge while you’re sexually dominating her?
Is there a specific kind of rough sex every woman responds to, for example?
The truth is, no one touch is going to appeal to every single woman…
But in my experience, there are a few rough sex moves that almost every woman responds to…
And here’s what they are:
3 Rough Sex Moves to Take Things to the Next Level…
Click on the move you wanna know more about below…
1) The Dominant Hand-Hold: Not a tender, “holding hands in the park” move… this is something you can use to take your dominance up a notch… you can check it out here.
2) The S&M Spank: Once her inhibitions are gone, you’d be surprised how many women will ask you to hit them. Start out by spanking her like this… she’ll beg you for more.
3) The Goldilocks Choke: This move’s a little more advanced… but it’s the quickest way to give her a toe-curling orgasm she’ll never forget. For maximum sexual pleasure, try doing this while you choke her.
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