What to Say on a First Date & What to Avoid–Will You Get That First Date Kiss?
Have you ever watched the movie, The Maltese Falcon?
There’s a scene in the movie that goes a little bit like this:
Kasper Gutman (Sidney Greenstreet): “Are you a closed-mouth man or a man who likes to talk?”
Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart): “I like to talk…”
Kasper: “Good, sir…capital. A closed-mouth man opens his mouth at the wrong time and says the wrong thing.”
One of the biggest problems that men have — especially the masculine type of guy — is their inability to talk.
If you’re thinking, “But masculine men don’t talk too much!” Hey–you’re right.
So what’s the problem?
It’s exactly what’s illustrated by the scene from The Maltese Falcon above — a man who doesn’t talk too much, or what many men would call the “strong, silent” type, often says the wrong thing when he does open his mouth.
Why the “Strong, Silent” Type of Guy Practically Never Gets the Girl
Men whose communication style is to keep to themselves often don’t talk very much at all. You and I know them as the “strong, silent” type.
But in my experience, when a “strong, silent” type of guy opens up his mouth… he’s not very smooth anymore.
And it’s because he hasn’t had much practice.
So he might end up saying something he shouldn’t…
Stumbling over his words…
And generally making himself look like a fool. Which will only cause him to keep his mouth shut more often.
Speaking your mind without any filter is actually not terrible if you’re a guy in a long-term relationship with a committed woman.
Sure, it can cause conflicts when he is verbally clumsy, but the overall result is that he shares more, and the woman he’s with is not in the dark.
On a first date, however, the wrong thing can cause conflict that you can’t get past.
So with that in mind, here are four of the most catastrophic “off-limits” topics that no woman wants to hear on a first date:
1) “I hate my job…”
First of all, it’s best to avoid career talk completely if possible.
However, often a woman will bring it up — so if that’s the case, stay as positive as possible.
Basically, anything you’re not delighted or happy about should be on a need-to-know basis until you’re closer to her.
Especially for a woman you’re attracted to, discussing your unhappiness with your career is not going to make her want you more.
And in fact, it could have the polar opposite effect.
I’m not saying you should lie to her — you don’t need to gush about your “amazing, fulfilling career”…
But don’t tell her you “f**king hate” it, either. Stay as neutral as possible.
2) “Your [insert name of her close relative] is really hot…”
This one’s a biggie.
Some guys think that pointing out other attractive women on a first date will create “drama” — the kind of drama women find attractive.
However, on a first date, this is definitely not a good idea.
Think about it — you’re on a date with her. She should be the object of your affection.
Even if she shows you a picture of her drop-dead-gorgeous sister or cousin, definitely do not mention how “hot” or “sexy” she is.
Instead, say something like, “Wow, good genes run in your family, huh?”
This implies that you acknowledge her relative’s beauty and that you find your date physically attractive as well.
Just make sure that you don’t make a comment she could potentially interpret as “insulting” to her own attractiveness.
3) “I’m voting for…”
If you haven’t seen the new dating app Hater, it’s a pretty solid example of how people can bond pretty fiercely over mutual pet peeves.
This is totally true, and I won’t argue that a mutual hate can bring you closer to a woman — but on a first date, polarizing topics like politics and religion are huge “no-no”‘s.
Why?
It’s your first date — you don’t need to get her whole life story over one meal.
Let’s say you’re a moderate conservative, and she’s a left-leaning liberal. If you discuss politics, she might be turned off by your views and refuse to sleep with you because of it.
If you avoid religion and politics for the first few dates, though, then you could still get lucky — even if things don’t work out in the long run.
At the end of the day, topics like politics and religion involve too many arbitrary and non-personal decisions. They simply don’t matter on a first date.
4) Complaints (of any kind)
Here’s something interesting I’ve learned over the years:
A very attractive woman can get away with complaining all the time, and men will still line up to face her. Plus, the self-confident, accepting men she’s attracted to are especially good at ignoring her complaints and earning her sexual desire.
When a man is a frequent complainer, however, he becomes instantly unattractive.
Sure, some men are “realistic” and can’t help but point out the exceptions and problems in any current situation. This information can be valuable, so do not misunderstand me.
Discovering dangers is a valuable function — complaining, however, can have a disastrous effect on your masculine image.
Why?
Complaining implies a few things:
- “I do not like the way things are or this thing is”…
- “I am incapable or unwilling to do anything to change things”…
- “I’m going to put up with these things I don’t like, and wait for someone else to do something to fix it”…
While I’ll agree that it’s not fair to instantly assume a man who complains is unhappy or unwilling to make any changes, this is almost always what a woman will think when she hears you complain.
Complaining tells her that you accept this thing you don’t want — and to a woman, a man in charge of his fate will never accept the things he does not want.
At the end of the day, you might see complaining as a way to reject something…
But to her, it’s defeated acceptance.
So now that you know what not to say on a date… what the hell should you say?
In my experience, what you do say doesn’t matter a whole lot (if you avoid these 4 topics, of course)… but if you want to make sure the date goes smoothly, & she comes back to your place…
Just do this:
The “No-Words” Move to Help You Seal the Deal on the First Date…
Now that you know how to avoid sabotaging the first date… here’s how to make it more likely she’ll go home with you that first night:
Use this subtle, 3-second touch on her arm or wrist.
Because a woman is up to 10x more sensitive to touch than you or I… touching her like this will help create the “physical chemistry” she craves…
And since it’s stealthy as hell, she’ll feel like it’s all happening naturally.
It’s especially perfect during those “awkward” silences that happen on first dates… because after a few seconds, she’ll forget what she was even saying…
You might see her eyes light up…
And often (though not always), she’ll ask you to come back to her place for a “drink”…
Here’s how to use it:
Discover The “No-Words” Move to Help You Seal the Deal on the First Date…
