How to Use Role-Play and Fantasies to Indulge Your Sexual Desires–Are You More Vanilla Kink, Or Do You Like It Rough?
What do you think of when you hear the word “BDSM”?
Probably whips and chains, right? Kinda scary (for some people, anyway).
But if whips and chains don't excite you, then that's not a problem.
Not everybody is into the rougher aspects of kink and BDSM, and that is just fine. It doesn't have to be a “spank-or-be-spanked” world for you.
There are plenty of other kinky things that you can try:
Do you have a fetish you want to explore?…
Or maybe you want to dress up like Deadpool and play out a damsel-in-distress scenario?
When it comes to kink, you can pretty much be anything you want, as long as you and your partner(s) are on the same page about what you're doing and what the expectations are.
Who (Or What) Do You Want to Be Tonight?
Do you have some deep, detailed fantasies or desires that you'd like to try out?
Working with your partner to realize your — and her — desires can take your sexual relationship to a whole other level.
Even if you're not talking about whipping your partner with a cat o' nine tails, it's important to communicate with her about what interests you.
And of course, you need to listen to her as well.
A lot of what prevents people from getting kinky is fear of judgment. You don't want others to think you're some kind of freak, and probably vice versa.
Couples who want to add some kink to their bedrooms must agree, at the outset, to drop any judgment when discussing kink.
Because at the end of the day, kink is about exploring, adventuring, and finding new, exciting things to try. It's about pushing your own boundaries and understanding of what can be playful and sexually exciting.
So if the woman you're with suggests a kinky fantasy that makes you shrivel up inside, you can say “no”… but do it gently. And continue to encourage her to share her desires until you find something that works for both of you.
Judgmental behavior and actions will do nothing but shut down communication and inhibit kinkiness (both hers and yours). So when you're talking with your partner, be sure to be very specific about what you want.
“I'd like you to dress up like Harley Quinn and I'll dress as the Joker, and the hot tub will be a vat of toxic chemicals. You should scream as I lower you in, but once in, you'll be my hard-biting love kitten. And we'll f–k like monkeys.”
Or whatever. But you get the idea.
Just make sure that when you both agree to try something a little kinky, that you both know what will happen, and that any surprises are unintended.
Oh, and things will probably never go quite as planned. So you both need to have a little flexibility and a lot of humor.
Shenanigans and fun will follow.
How I Acted Out My Very Own Sexual Fantasy With a Gorgeous Woman in a Hotel…
A common, and fun, fantasy — I've done it with two different partners (not at the same time, but that's an idea…) — is pretending to be strangers and picking each other up at a bar or some other public place.
In my experience, we played out the scenario in a hotel bar and went back to a hotel room that I'd reserved ahead of time.
One of the cool things about this type of scenario is you get to replay meeting her for the first time without the stress of wondering whether you'll be successful in getting her to into bed.
Plus, it can add a twist to the fantasy to change some details of your your life — maybe you're a private jet pilot who's just in for the night — and create a story that's as amusing for you to tell, as it is for her to hear.
It's true that this borders on role-play, but you're not technically “in character” — you're acting out a fantasy.
My lady friends and I had a lot of fun creating the stories in our fantasies… especially once we got up to the room.
It was amazing to feel like I was having sex with this woman for the first time, despite the fact that we had already had sex many times.
I felt rejuvenated, refreshed, and my libido was as high as ever.
When it Comes to Sexual Fantasies, How Far Is “Too Far”?
The best thing about acting out these kinds of sexual fantasies is that every time, you know with 100% confidence that the fantasy will end in sex.
And as a result, that takes a lot of the nervousness out of the encounter, and leaves room for just having fun.
But it doesn't have to be so “easy” if you don't want it to be. Want her to play hard to get?
Or maybe you want her to work to earn your affection?
That can be just as hot!
At the end of the day, that's the thing to remember: It's YOUR fantasy, not mine.
So sure, join the Mile High Club…
Have a ménage a trois…
Watch her have sex with someone else…
Or have her watch you.
These are all awesome fantasies. Just make sure you talk to your partner beforehand, and you lay out your expectations to each other.
The Most Important Step of Sexual Role-Play (Don’t Forget This!)
Role-playing is an awesome way to kick up your sex life, and you can use it however you want to enhance your sex life.
You can plan an elaborate scenario, set the scene, and even shop for costumes to add an additional layer of excitement and anticipation to your fantasy… but remember that you don't have to!
When it comes to kinky sex, keeping it simple can also be a lot of fun.
Whatever you decide on, take some time to research your “roles,” and even roughly script a scenario. But of course, leave plenty of room to improvise — it really enhances the scenario.
For example, maybe you'd like to do a doctor-patient scenario. Talk about what kind of doctor or patient you may be.
Do you want to reverse roles midway through? What's some of the medical jargon you should know for the scene?
The possibilities are limited only to your imagination.
When you're done, though, take some time to talk about it. Surprisingly, this is the most important step!
Figure out what worked, what didn't, and how you can make it better for next time. Or if you want to just do something completely different.
That is really the beauty of kink. The possibilities are endless because it involves your body's sexiest organ: your brain.
The Naughty Foreplay “Game” She Won’t Be Able to Resist…
Here’s a naughty “game” girls can’t get enough of — there are 3 “levels”:
The “Warmup” Level: These 3 areas on her body contain thousands of “sensitive arousal nerves”…touch her here, and you’ll instantly get her juices flowing.
Now put it all together:
P.S. Here’s a cool little shortcut to jump straight to the “XXX” Level. 😉