As soon as “couples counseling” became trendy, everyone over the age of 10 was told that “communication is key.”
And as annoying as it might be to hear over and over… it still holds true.
However, communication still causes a lot of problems, especially in relationships. So how many people are really listening?
For example, my sister's ex-boyfriend cheated on her multiple times before she found out. And as soon as she learned that he had been hooking up with other women, she wasted no time ending their relationship.
This was after three years of dating–three years, and they had never had the talk of defining what “cheating” really meant. My sister just assumed his views were the same as hers, though this fatal mistake ended up causing her heartache and, eventually, betrayal.
It would have been so much easier for both parties if they had known where each other's boundaries lied, don't you think?
Well, one new study has finally addressed this–and the results may shock you.
The Study That Revealed How Real Women Define “Cheating”…
Conducted by Superdrug, the study surveyed over 2,000 people about all sorts of cheating-related topics:
What it means to “cross the line” with another person…
Why a person may or may not cheat on his/her partner…
Whether or not they've cheated before & how many times…
How the cheating started…
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. But today, I want to focus on what the females in the survey said they considered “cheating” to be.
Before we get to kissing, let's touch on some more surprising statistics the survey revealed.
Spooning:70.8% of women say spooning or cuddling is cheating, compared to 62.7% of men.
Holding hands: While 52.6% of women think hand-holding counts as cheating, only 46.4% of men agree.
Going out as friends:43.5% of women say even going out as friends is cheating–29.2% of men agree.
Getting emotionally close: A whopping 70.8% of women think that getting emotionally close is cheating. However, just 46.4% of men think so.
What this study is proving, is that the thought processes surrounding how men and women think about cheating are drastically different. What you may consider OK to do, she might consider as cheating (and vice versa).
But enough of that–let's get to the main topic of discussion. Does kissing count as cheating?
Kissing Another Person: Cheating Or Fair Game?
Here's what the survey said about kissing:
88.5% of women believe that kissing another person counts as cheating. So that means there are 11.5% of women who think it doesn't count.
As for the men, 80.7% of guys also believe kissing is cheating. Which means that nearly 20% of guys think kissing doesn't count.
So, clearly there's a disparity between how men and women view kissing other people. And in a relationship, this can cause some serious issues.
Most likely, the reason that more women view kissing as cheating than men is because women tend to feel the desire to kiss someone with whom they share an emotional connection. Of course, this isn't always the case, though it often is.
Men, on the other hand, may be more inclined to get physical with a woman they don't share a connection with. And as a result, they may be able to forget about it without any residual guilt.
So if you're in a relationship, what can you do to make sure you're on the same page? And if you're single, does it really even matter?
Yes–and here's why:
So What Can You Do About It?
If you're in a relationship, the obvious solution is to have a conversation with your significant other. In this conversation, you need to establish the following:
“Are we exclusive?”…
“How do you define cheating, and how does that compare to my definition?”…
“Where do we set our boundaries?”…
And any other topics related to cheating that might come up.
When you talk to her about this, make sure to listen and be open to discussing all sorts of things–even if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable.
Then you can use this as a foundational element of your relationship, which will ultimately make it that much stronger. It's a tough conversation to have, no doubt, but if you're serious about her, it's absolutely necessary.
That way, there won't be any blurred lines that either of you can accidentally (or purposefully) trip over down the line.
And if you're single?
Just keep the study's findings in the back of your mind–remember, women take getting emotionally close to someone a lot more seriously than men do, so if you feel yourself becoming close to a woman, recognize that this may be a really big step for her.
You can also use the findings to spot the ways that make women feel most emotionally attached to someone–so if you want to take things to the “next level,” make sure to hold her hand, cuddle her, and kiss her.
Ultimately, though, the best way to prevent any kind of messy situation is to avoid the kind of woman who tends to cheat in the first place… and here's how to do that:
Is She A Cheater? Use This 6-Question Picture-Quiz to Find Out…
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