You’re laying in bed, cuddling with your girlfriend and trying to catch up on that Netflix show you guys started watching together.
As you’re spooning her, she starts wiggling back against you, trying to get as close as she can to you with only your clothes as a barrier. She turns her head and nuzzles up into your neck.
She kisses her way up your neck, whispers into your ear, and finally brings her lips down to meet yours. Now you’re in a hot and heavy makeout session you never saw coming.
Now she starts lifting your shirt off and pulling your boxers down.
While you may really enjoy what is going on, you may not be in the right headspace to give your full attention to it. What I’m saying is when everything feels like it’s going “right,” you still might not feel that “arousal.”
And that is OK.
The fact is, you’re not always going to feel “in the mood” all the time, especially when you get older. What is important to remember is that some nights you just gotta accept that and go to bed.
But, if you really want to please your partner, Jessa Zimmerman, a sex therapist, has the answers.
Sometimes the answer to your lack of arousal is not because of age or lack of sleep. It can often just be a case of having too much on your mind.
Especially in today’s society, we are always busy, busy, busy.
If we finish doing one thing, we are already behind on starting another thing. While all these projects are good for our personal and business lives, they may be sabotaging your sex life.
According to Zimmerman, it is very possible that stress from work, kids, or family is creating that mental arousal block, and keeping you from feeling in the mood.
Start by figuring out what is distracting you, so that you can figure out how to fix it.
For example, if a sink full of dishes is stuck in your head, take a couple minutes to clean and put them away.
Once you figure out how to remove those distractions, you free up space in your mind to focus on sexy time.
And that can ultimately make it a lot easier to get hard and stay hard when you want to. 😉
2) Reconnect With Your Desires
This is not just about creating a makeshift sexy construction worker costume from stuff you found in the garage and oil-stained shirts.
While this sort of thing might work in the moment for a short-term pleasurable night, it won’t hold up in the long-run.
What I am talking about is rekindling your desire for each other.
This is going to take some time, and it might be a bit difficult, but trust me when I say it will be so worth it.
Zimmerman says to start by figuring out what makes you feel sexy and what turns you on. Start reading erotic fiction and watching porn. Go out of your comfort zone with this.
There are tons of subsections of both of these options where you can find something new to get you excited.
Once you figure out your own desires, find the common ground as a couple.
When you find out what makes you both feel sexy for each other, it’s game over. Not only will the sex be better, but it will be more consistent and deeper. And there will be a deeper connection in your relationship outside of the bedroom.
3) Consider Your “Obstacles”
Imagine you’re making out on the couch. Things start to get intense, then all of a sudden you are both fumbling taking your clothes off and stumbling down the hallway to the bedroom.
You reach the door, but it gets jammed because a pile of laundry is blocking the entrance.
You take a quick break to budge the door open, slightly reducing the hotness of the situation.
The kissing resumes and as you make your way to the bed, you trip over a pair of shoes haphazardly strewn on the ground.
You both crash to the floor, she hits her head, and the mood has passed.
Zimmerman suggests making the space more inviting for sex. Clean up the clothes, light a candle, shove your shoes into the closet.
If you want, you can dim the lights and put on a smooth playlist.
Anything you can do to declutter your room will declutter your mind–and that will make it a lot easier for you (and the women you bring home) to get “in the mood.”
But what if you still can’t get it up in the moment? Or what if it takes you “a while”?
What then?
Satisfy ANY woman in bed using the easy technique below…
Here’s An Extra Precaution All Men Should Take…
No matter what… no matter who you are… there are going to be times when it might take you “a while” to get hard.
This is totally normal…
… but it also means that if you REALLY want to get it up quick… and you REALLY want to satisfy the women you sleep with…
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