The Truth About Erection Problems & What to Do If It's “All in Your Head” — And How to Get Stronger, Longer-Lasting Boners ASAP…
Has this ever happened to you?
You're kissing a girl…
Rubbing your hands all over her soft, warm skin…
Her clothes start to come off…
She starts to unzip your jeans…
Aaaaaaaaaand, nothing. You're dead as a door nail *down there.*
Yeah, it's happened to me too. And I know how much it sucks.
Even if you suspect it's “all in your head,” that doesn't make it any easier to get it up (and keep it up) when you're in the moment.
So what can you do about it?
Hi, I’m Ruwando, and as part of my ongoing series, I’m answering your most difficult, burning questions related to sex and dating.
And today, I want to show you the truth about psychological erection problems–how to figure out if it's “all in your head,” and what you can do to start enjoying sex again.
Because honestly, if you follow the right steps… and get some practice under your belt…
… then it’s a LOT easier than you may realize.
So let’s get started!
Catch the Full Transcript Below
Hey, what's up, Ruwando here for Gotham club and today we're going to talk about a topic that I hear from a lot of guys.
It's one of the most humiliating things, and I have a lot of personal experience with it–and that is erectile dysfunction and how to get over it.
So, this is a very personal topic for me… because it's one of the whole reasons why I'm in the career that I'm in right now.
When I started learning dating, when I started learning social skills and I moved to New York a little after college and started bringing women home for the first time in my life…
I actually had trouble getting it up.
Before I Was a Sex Guru, I Was Just a Regular Guy With an Erection Problem…
It was crazy.
It was humiliating… because my whole life up until that point, almost every dollar and every hour I spent was on learning how to bring women home that wanted to have sex with me.
And, I finally got up to that point but I couldn't get it up.
My genitals just didn't work, and it was… maybe you can imagine. Maybe something like this has happened to you once, twice or even a bunch of times.
You know it's humiliating, it was confusing because I was healthy.
I went to the urologist and he said, “You're fine, it's all in your head.”
But of course it doesn't help, right? I knew it was in my head, but that doesn't help.
So today, I'm going to share with you how I got over it, how I've helped a bunch of other men get over their “psychological E.D.,” and how you can get over it too.
Why Little Blue Pills Make it WORSE…
So, first I do want to address any physical things that might be the case.
Chances are if you're a healthy man, this is probably not a physical thing.
A lot of men, especially millennials, have this issue completely because of porn watching, because of either self-esteem, because of stress, and because of technology.
I mean, there's all these physical factors… but I will say, just to check if you're having this issue recurrently, see a urologist. Make sure that everything's OK, because I'm going to be addressing the psychosomatic roots of the problem here, not the physical stuff.
Because what I did, is I ended up taking Viagra to get over my problem and it actually made it worse.
So you have to know the root cause of your problem if you want to fix it.
Because if you're taking Viagra and you think, “I can't get it up without Viagra…”
But you still think that this is a psychological issue… then I first suggest you get off the Viagra and then try to get hard.
Because if you keep taking Viagra, that's going to condition you to have issues further in the future. (Especially if it was not prescribed to you and you're just taking it as a party drug.)
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If You're a Relatively Healthy Male & You Still Have Trouble Getting Hard…
Then it's probably got something to do with your feelings.
And, feelings have two different forms that you can experience them in.
Not to get all sappy, but we express feelings in two different ways.
We express them in the body–that's sensation. And we express them in our limbic nervous system–that's what we perceive as emotion.
But these two things are not actually that separate.
I'm not going to go too deep into that, but I just want you to understand that concept. Because if you're blocking your feelings emotionally, it's going to affect your body.
I see this a lot in couples I counsel. When they're angry at each other emotionally, and there's a bunch of resentment… they actually can't feel each other when they touch each other.
It's like they don't want to accept pleasure from each other, so they can't feel it. And then their genitals just don't work.
So if you have blocked emotions, this can make it difficult or impossible for you to get hard.
And I'm going to share with you a couple of things to help you with that specifically.
Because with most of the men that I've spoken to, whether they have erectile dysfunction because of porn addiction, or because of shame, or because of some sort of negative cultural conditioning… this can block their emotions, their instincts, their anger, and their sex drive…
And it ends up cutting them off from their own body.
One Simple Hack…
Alright, so I'm going to start with more physical concrete stuff, because you may have heard this before.
You've got to get present, and you have to get into your body.
But what does that mean exactly?
I know when I was first starting to have issues with getting hard, I'd be bringing a woman home or I'd be going back to her place on a Friday night or something.
I'd first be excited and then I'd be like, “Oh s*it, what if I don't get hard?”
Then once I had that thought, I knew it was not going to work.
You may have experienced that. I've talked to many guys who have that–where you know it's not going to work before the clothes ever come off.
That's because all of your attention, all of your energy, if you will, is in your thoughts. And you're not regarding your body.
So, I'd suggest to you right now while you're reading this, start paying attention to your body.
You have that capability, I believe in you.
And it's very simple–all you have to do is pay attention, right?
One of the reasons why all the mindfulness meditation people say, “Pay attention to your breathing, pay attention to your feelings,” is because that's exactly what puts you in your body and gets you out of your anxious monkey mind.
So right now, take a deep breath, right?
And then the other “feel your body” hack I have to offer is to notice gravity.
1) Breathe Deep… Notice Your Butt (Seriously!)
A lot of guys have trouble feeling their body.
I say like, “Oh, what does your body feel?”
And they have no idea what I'm talking about. But at any point you can feel a feeling of gravity.
So right now, if you're sitting, notice your butt in the seat.
You have arms, right? I assume you have arms, so just notice the weight of your arms.
Notice the weight of your head. Notice your feet on the floor.
If you're lying down right now, notice the points of contact between you and the bed, or the floor, or whatever you're lying down on. Grass, I don't know.
So, just pay attention to that, because that will force you to notice what your body's feeling. And just by doing that, you'll notice it's hard to be anxious while you're noticing your body.
So breathe deeply, feel gravity.
2) Respect The C*ck
Once you start noticing the sensations in your body, the next thing is to notice your desires.
So, this seems silly, but a lot of guys are not entering sex paying attention to their own desire.
I mean, of course logically we know that we have sex because you have desire to have sex, because sex feels good.
But if your d*ck isn't working, if your c*ck isn't getting aroused… then your body doesn't have a desire to have sex in that moment.
It's like your body is questioning you.
Why are you trying to have sex if your own genitals don't want to have sex?
It seems like a crazy question to ask, but a lot of guys are entering sex because they want to prove that they can have sex.
They say they want to get laid or give women screaming orgasms, but they forget that the real reason you're supposed to be having sex is because it feels good to you.
So, one of the lines I'd like to bring up is from the movie Magnolia with Tom Cruise.
He plays this pickup coach, and not taking his words too generally, but he says, “Respect the c*ck.”
And if you're having trouble getting hard, then I'd say that you need to respect your c*ck.
If you're trying to force yourself to have sex and your own body doesn't want to have sex, you are not putting your own desire first.
Now you might be wondering…
“Alright, so what do I do if my d*ck doesn't want to have sex?”
I'd say, in the moment, then you don't have sex.
Because if you don't need to prove anything, then you won't have that scarcity mindset.
You just say, I'm not going to do it.
It's like, you wouldn't have force yourself to eat a hamburger if you don't feel like eating a hamburger, right?
It's the same exact thing. The problem is most guys have scarcity around sex, and they're like, “Oh, I have to have sex every opportunity.”
It's like when a starving person says, “Oh, I have to eat every hamburger, because I don't know what I'm going to get the next one.”
And aside from helping with the erection thing, this belief will flat-out make you more attractive. Just know that you don't have to have sex every time, because you have an abundance in your life.
So notice what you want, from moment to moment.
Maybe you want to cuddle before you have sex. Maybe you want a kiss… or maybe you want to go get up and eat a hamburger.
Once you start noticing your body, then you will begin to notice more of what you want specifically.
And once you know what you want, you will be able to do the things that will get you aroused again.
3) Now Access Your Emotions
Now, my final point is the thing that guys have the most trouble with:
Feeling your emotions on a communication level.
So, one of the things that I attribute to helping me regain my libido after a year of taking Viagra and being dead from the waist down… is I started talking about it.
Now, you might be wondering, “Oh, are you going to tell me to be all Kumbaya, and like be all sappy with people?”
No, I'm not saying that. Communicating your emotions is actually the boldest thing you can do–it's the manliest, most courageous thing.
Just talk about it.
Here's what I did:
For almost a year, when I'd take a woman home… maybe it's the first time we're getting naked together, and I'd say something like:
“Hold on, I just have to tell you something. It's kind of weird, but for whatever reason I haven't been getting hard. I have been having this trouble, I'm kind of in my head about it and I feel like a bit of pressure.”
Yeah, it was humiliating at first. But over time, I noticed that the more I shared it, the easier it was to talk about, and the more I could actually feel.
Because, one of the reasons why we don't feel our emotions is that we're ashamed, so we lock them up.
So, you might have shame about erectile dysfunction. You might have shame about your lecherous desires for women. And you might have shame about how gentle or soft you actually are and how you're not actually this person you're trying to be.
And the thing is, whatever you genuinely are, if you have shame about it, you're going to block it, and things happen when you block your emotions.
So you need to open up verbally, because that will allow you to reconnect with your manhood a lot faster.
She's Never Going to Blame You…
Sexual problems happen. And the thing is, a lot of guys are afraid because the whole reason why we have shame is fear of judgment.
And, in this sexual setting, you might be afraid that a woman will laugh at you for not getting it up or something like that.
And I'll tell you one, that has actually never happened to me.
The only people who've ever judged me when I shared and opened up about my erection issues were other men who were afraid of having their own erection issues.
Literally zero of the women … and I probably shared this with, I don't know, 20 women over the course of almost a year… none of them actually shamed me.
Because most women, when a guy can't get it up, they think it's their fault.
And they're like, “Oh, thank God it's not my fault. OK, I can empathize with that.” Because every woman has had something like that happen to them.
And if you are with a 1 out of 100 woman who's a total, for lack of a better word, a b*tch… and she makes fun of you… then she's not somebody you probably want to be having sex with anyway.
So notice your body, respect the c*ck and talk about it.
That's how I personally got over my psychological E.D., and that's how I've helped dozens of other guys get out of their heads and get their boners back too.
But there is one more thing you can try if you want even faster results:
How A Real Gotham Club Reader Overcame His Relationship-Ending Erection Issue…
I just showed you how I beat my psychological E.D…. but would you like to know a simple way to guarantee a rock hard c*ck, regardless of whether you’re “in your head” or not?
I’m about to reveal the secret to the hardest erections you’ve ever had, using FOODS you can pick up at any grocery store!
For almost 2 years, he thought he had total “dead d*ck”… his girlfriend left him because of it… and at his worst, he couldn’t even get it up for porn.
However, he was able to overcome it… but not using the method I showed you above.
Instead, he used a simple all-natural solution, that restored his erections and gave him his manhood back…
I was pretty blown away when I read about it… and honestly, I was pretty pissed too.
(Why the hell didn’t I know about this back when I was having problems?? It would have saved me MONTHS of embarrassing agony…)
So here’s what it is in case you want to know about his amazing secret too: