To keep a conversation flowing, you want to change the topic at least six times.
What you’re looking to do is continually change topics, and that’s how it happens for an hour.
There’s no problem talking for an hour as long as you don’t stay on one topic.
If you stay on any one topic, one hour is way too long.
In fact, I’d argue that there is no topic that you want to stay on for even half an hour.
Now, you might say,
“Yeah, but we really connect on this thing.”
It doesn’t matter. Whatever you connect on, get excited when you talk about it and then move on.
Because to a woman, if you stay on any one topic for more than half an hour, then she’s going to get bored if it’s the first date.
What Lights Her Up?
Your job during this hour is to do what?
Many guys seem to think that their job during this hour is to get rapport.
But in reality, this isn’t true at all. Instead, rapport gives you the opportunity to do your job during this hour.
Your job during this hour is to find out what lights her up.
You might be searching for what you have in common (save this for later), but what you really want to look for is what she gets excited about while she talks about it.
And when you find out what lights her up, you don’t talk about it right then and there. That’s what everybody does.
Instead, you move on from it. You still cover several topics but you’re going to wait until dinner to explore these topics further. (More on that in a minute.)
All you’re doing is looking to cover subjects, looking for things that she likes, and things that you both connect on.
Changing subjects may look something like this:
She might be talking about an old stuffed animal she had as a child. Rather than continue to talk about the toy, you jump in and change the topic.
You can do this by saying, “You must have had a great childhood…”
Find something that immediately connects with the subject and subtly change the topic.
Here are a few more great tips to make sure your first date conversations go as planned:
1) The 1-Hour Check In
So an hour has gone by. You’ve had a cup of coffee, maybe a drink.
If it’s gone well and it should be more than an hour, you should find yourself worrying about dinner. That is, time should seem to pass faster than it actually is.
Or if it’s not going well, then maybe an hour goes by and you feel like the conversation is barely eeking by.
That’s fine, but by now what you’ve done is you’ve gathered six to seven things to talk about.
And at this point, you can be pretty sure that at least three of these topics light her up. Your plan is to save the best of these for last (things you can bring back up during dinner).
Which brings me to my next tip…
2) Transitioning To Dinner
So you’re going to dinner, and maybe you have a drink while you wait for your table.
Chit chat, chit chat. Don’t bring up your main subjects now.
If you don’t know what to talk about, then you look around and talk about something you see:
“Great room,” for example.
You look around. There should be lots of things that will be right there–you talk about those things, something that you like.
We never expected these spots to be so sexually stimulating… but it turns out that they are highly connected to her erogenous zones…
(You know how some people say that certain spots on a woman’s feet are connected to her more “private” areas? It’s kinda like that.)
So often, all it takes is a few seconds of light pressure… and she’ll start to get turned on… even if you’re in public. (That’s what many guys in our community have reported, anyway.)
Of course, this does not work instantly… and for some girls, it can take longer than others. But usually, if you do these touches over the course of 30-45 minutes… what happens is downright spectacular.
She’ll likely start being more touchy with you… and she may start blushing, or twirling her hair…
… and by the time the date is done, not only will she feel comfortable enough to go back home with you, but she’ll be giddy and excited to do so. 🙂
We’ve laid out the sequence for you right here… so if you’d like to get a little more first date action, I think this should help you a lot:
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