But before I can help you meet your very own Bond Girl, the bad information that may be keeping you from finding your ultimate match needs to be addressed.
I want to help you experience what I know to be true.
Below are the seven most common misconceptions about international dating that I’ve heard over the years.
1) Women Overseas Are Desperate
This is by far the most ridiculous and overemphasized stereotype in the world.
With no cultural reference, men wonder:
“Why would a beautiful woman want an average guy unless she was desperate for money or to get out of her impoverished conditions?”
In reality, millions of women around the world are getting along just fine.
They live with the same status that everyone around them does.
They enjoy family as their highest priority and live healthier lifestyles than we do.
The reason that women overseas would consider a Western man is because they often deal with alcoholic men in their culture.
These women also have to cope with a competitive dating world where the men are “spoiled,” as they have told me repeatedly.
You bring more to the table than you realize.
They don’t have to be desperate to be interested in good men from the West.
They are genuinely interested in you.
2)I’ve Dated Women From Other Countries in My Hometown So I Know What They’re Like
After sharing my own story of good fortune, I’m often met with some skepticism from men who have dated women whose families were originally from parts of Asia, Latin America, or Eastern Europe.
When they try to tell me that they already know what it’s like to date a foreign woman, I just ask, “Did she grow up in that country exclusively until at least age 20?”
Most of the time, these men are referring to American women with foreign ancestries…
Not women who have the values and cultures of people who lived and grew up in that foreign country.
Think about it this way:
The music you loved in high school tends to be the music you love all your life.
There will always be that nostalgic appeal, and this has been true of every generation.
The same is true of cultural values!
What you were raised to believe tends to stay with you throughout your entire life.
The same is going to be true for women you date overseas.
If you go there yourself, you’ll see what I’m talking about.
3)They Will Ditch You for the Bigger, Better Deal
Americans are all about rugged individualism.
It’s all about the “I.”
However, what you’ll find overseas are “we” cultures where people identify more with who they are in their families and social circles than they do with themselves.
Consistently, I’ve seen international women consider how everything they do will reflect on their family and friends before taking action.
They don’t want to embarrass anyone in their circle.
Ultimately, they want to make them proud.
How does this affect you?
If you enter into a committed relationship with a woman overseas, you become part of her circle and she will fiercely defend you.
Her loyalty is a powerful thing.
In her world, relationships with men are often characterized by cheating and alcohol abuse.
She’s dated younger and more handsome men and seen those relationships end in pain.
She’s dated rich men, but the perception overseas is that rich men may have a “first wife”…
…And many other lovers.
The relationship these women have with rich men is not close and intimate.
If she says “yes” to you, you have very little to worry about.
I realize that this may not be the norm in your world, and that’s why I help men visit other cultures where women truly value romance and loyalty.
Despite cultural differences, your relationship values are probably more similar to hers than they are to most American women’s.
4)International Women Look for Huge Age Gaps in Relationships
It’s true that the average age difference in a multi-national marriage is 9.8 years.
However, the reason is not because these women are looking for an age gap.
Rather, they’re looking for a stable man who is ready for marriage, and they feel younger guys are still fooling around and can’t support a family.
They want a man, not a boy.
Their perception is that young men aren’t ready.
However, if you are a Western man in his 20s, you come with the reputation that you’re from a faithful culture where you can provide.
Men of all ages have opportunities overseas, but age is not the reason they win.
In all of my coaching and research experience, the leading indicator of lasting relationships has to do with chemistry.
When chemistry comes first, the couple can be happy for life.
When you start dating overseas, you may find amazing connections with women five years or 20 years younger than you, but it won’t matter.
If you’re looking to “bag a young one” you will be disappointed.
After all, she will get older.
Instead of focusing on age, you need to focus on chemistry.
That’s what these women are looking for.
5)You Have to Start Dating Online
Please remember this: You can’t download a wife.
At some point — even if you do meet her online — you will have to meet her in her country.
I always recommend looking for ways to meet women in person first and see where the sparks of romance lead you.
This is why my wife and I have an 80% success rate with our Quest Tour programs.
Many men make the mistake of using online outlets to meet foreign women, and they fall into a number of traps that can easily be avoided.
3 Reasons You Should Avoid Dating Foreign Women Online
There are three reasons why you should avoid online dating:
1) Online dating is a psychological trap.
It causes you to fall in love with profiles and pixels. It is a complete fantasy.
2) Online dating is a scam.
It is almost always funded by profit-oriented people who want to keep you online and feeding their meter, not finding a life partner.
3) You will waste more money on online dating fees than if you just bought your ticket to a foreign country and started dating real live women.
This brings me to the next misconception…
6)Women Overseas Are Submissive
When you see women overseas who radiate femininity and express it by serving other people, you may misunderstand it as a desire to be submissive.
That would be a huge mistake.
A Ukrainian woman named Marina explained it to me this way:
“I see my role in a marriage as the one who is responsible for the spirit of the home.I must make it warm and cozy and welcoming to our guests.My husband is the wall around the home protecting us.I am glad to serve this man and my role.It gives me great joy.”
Just because a woman may enjoy being a nurturer doesn’t mean that’s all she’s capable of.
In fact, Ukraine has one of the highest education and literacy rates in the world at 99.7%.
These are smart and educated women, and they will jump in to fill any role needed to help the family.
I am a living example of this.
Two years after the 2008 economic collapse in America, I lost everything.
My business, homes, and my dignity — gone.
But my wife jumped in to encourage and support me.
She said, “Babe, don’t be down.Money comes and goes; we have each other.Let me go to work for a while and you figure out what your next business will be.”
These women are not after your money, and they’re not brainless.
They are strong, courageous spirits and will support you for a lifetime.
7)You Need to Be Rich to Do This
I’ve had men who make $50k/year go and meet their wife and bring her home to their apartment.
Yes, you do have to make the trip, but what do you compare the cost to?
Let me help put this in perspective.
How much did your current car cost?
Was it $15,000 or $30,000?
The entire adventure of traveling, hiring a matchmaker, visa services, and the flight to bring your future wife home could add up to $10,000 over the course of a year.
Now, I’m not saying that $10,000 is a small amount of money, but the experience will give you a lifetime of happiness, inspiration, and joy.
Can you really put a price on that?
Here Are Your Next Steps
Studies have proven that a supportive and happy marriage can increase your happiness, income, and success in life.
Whether you choose to pursue love overseas or not, just don’t let these misconceptions keep you from making a real decision for your future.
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