How To Easily Strike Up a Conversation With a Woman You Don’t Know

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In our last chat, I told you to start putting skin in the game.

I tried to convince you that all the things I’ve said so far will hopefully make you more effective when you do, but nothing will actually make you good at it, or make it comfortable except doing it.

Like dancing or boxing, you can learn a great deal from books and theory and watching it done live or on YouTube, but nothing replaces actual experience and the subsequent visual motor rehearsal.

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Hopefully, you’ve made even the slightest progress on my last suggestion on how to talk to girls. Hopefully you’ve said “hi,” you’ve talked to someone, you’ve said something to someone you didn’t know.

No? I was worried about that.

Did you try? If you’ve tried then you’re ready for this discussion. If you haven’t, well, still read ahead, ‘cause better than reasons to procrastinate, you probably need help with follow through.

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Worry You're Too “Creepy” or Introverted?

You get way more benefits, however, if you’ve actually made even the slightest effort to talk to someone you don’t know. Otherwise, how are you going to learn how to talk to girls?

I say this because there are two big possibilities on either end of the spectrum when I ask you to talk to someone you don’t know.

At one end, you burst in on someone without hesitation, and their response is horror, resistance and/or a desire to escape.

At the other end, you look at her, she looks back warmly, and you can’t get anything out of your mouth.

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Most of us are somewhere on that scale from extroverted/creepy to introverted/likable.

There are two scales, of course, extroverted-introverted and creepy-likable, and I’ve hopefully given you some counterintuitive tips to adjust your creepy-likable rating.

From last week, I'm going to work on your extroverted-introverted scale with a helping of “likability” thrown in wherever possible.

The goal, of course, is to move you on that scale to a point where you are simultaneously more and more comfortable opening your mouth when you’re in an unfamiliar setting, and more and more desirable to listen to when you do open your mouth.

How To Easily Strike Up a Conversation With a Woman You Don't Know

The Secret to Becoming an Extrovert Overnight

So the last thing I told you was to say “hi.” Talk a little to people. Say something. Don’t avoid attention. That’s enough to start getting a taste. Now we’ll talk more about how it happens.

I’ve looked at and broken down many actual interactions and I’ll tell you something you probably don’t know.

What allows a person to just start talking to someone they don’t know out of the blue – what makes them feel comfortable doing it – seems to be a certain kind of trust. That would be interesting and useless, except that I’m going to break those down into the different types of trust and give you ways to engineer (read: fake) all but one.

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The Ground Rules of Likability

Before I do, I want to give you some ground rules for likability.

The first rule is about status. Let’s make clear – and I’m sorry if this feels chauvinist, because it’s not – it's best if you seem to have more status than she does.

I don’t want to go too deep in this because I’d like to get to the action part – we’ve spent enough time on prep – but I’ll insist for the sensitive new-age guys (SNAGs) among you who want to say that it works both ways blah blah blah…

How To Easily Strike Up a Conversation With a Woman You Don't Know

Men like good-looking women. Women like high-status men.

Their friends are jealous when they have high-status mates, and everything

superficial about their dating situations is improved by a status differential.

Pilots are desired by flight attendants, doctors date nurses, and bosses go out with secretaries.

Now there are female pilots and male air stewards.

They don’t famously date, though.

There are female doctors. In fact more women become doctors currently than men.

Do they date among the growing population of male nurses?

Hardly. They date other doctors, and aim for surgeons, hospital administrators, and other high-status men.

This is not a recommendation to start hitting on your staff. Rather, this is a foundational note that as you and I “engineer” scenarios, make sure that you are taking a high-status role.

You’ll see what I mean a little later.

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How To Easily Design Your Own Identity

Next is the identity you are designing. This identity may be within a particular situation or a general image you are cultivating. The point here is that no matter what you think, you are cultivating some identity. It may be ‘who you are’ or it may be to some degree invented.

Either way, you have an identity inside, and you have an identity outside – which may both vary by circumstance. You are sharing this outside identity – this image – either incidentally or intentionally. Let’s make that intentionally.

Next, we want that image to be “high quality,” and that varies depending on your circumstances.

Recognize that it’s no accident that pimps wear furs and chains and act tough. It is important that they are high status – at least within the world they inhabit with the women they must attract.

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You may want to argue that they really are tough, but I would contend that being tough and acting tough are two different things, and not synchronized. True guys who are tough rarely act like “tough guys.”

I’m talking about special forces guys and one guy who trains special forces guys in hand to hand combat. They don’t act tough anymore, but they really are. Tough is often only an act.

“High quality” means intelligent and/or capable and/or discerning and/or respected and/or wealthy and/or in charge and/or…you get the picture.

There are a lot of versions of “high quality” in many different facets of life, and you know the ones you have or can pretend to or can pass off.

As Jenniphr Goodman’s Tao of Steve said, “Be Desireless Be Excellent and Be Gone”

Finally, of course, as mentioned above, remember that you want an identity that is high status.

Isn’t it the same thing?


A “high quality” nurse is still status-wise at a disadvantage with a doctor.

To sum up, you want to be aware of your identity, with the most important characteristics being self-acceptance (I like me) and confidence (you like me).

Next that identity should, where possible, be High Quality and High Status.

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But Never Lie!

One caveat before I let you go.

Reiterating, the MOST important characteristics are self-acceptance (I like me) and self-confidence (you like me.)

Did you read that part?

Please recognize that lying about your status or quality is simply prioritizing the quality and/or status over self-acceptance and/or self-confidence.

I’d like to make this clear.

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Pretending to be either high-status or high-quality is a demonstration of low self-esteem.

This pretense is very unattractive. It is why plugs make a bald guy better looking, but getting plugs makes him less attractive.

Recognize that a nurse who likes his life and thinks well of himself can be far more attractive than a doctor who doesn’t.

As an Italian friend used to say, “I don’t like anything fake.”

Fake is not attractive. Please.

Don’t try to fix status or quality, except with Self-Acceptance and Self-Confidence. Steve – in the Tao of Steve – is a Kindergarten Teacher, and he is based on a real guy with just as much success with women.

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How To Hookup With Women On “Easy Mode”…

Imagine walking into a bar or coffee shop…

Feeling really confident…

And absolutely knowingfor sure, that hot girls want to hookup with you.

More than anything else in the world… they want you to talk to them… make a couple jokes… then take them home… and rail them proper.

Now imagine you can spot every hot girl who is secretly into you at that bar… or that coffee shop…

I know what you're thinking: “Uh… yeah, all zero of them!”

I used to think the same way you did…

But then I met my mentor, Craig Miller.

He spent damn-near a decade figuring out the secret signs a hot girl wants to hookup with you

And then, once you see these hidden signs… the perfect “no-risk” conversation starter that makes her interested in hooking up.

These techniques are so controversial, they were featured on liberal TV host Anderson Cooper's talk show…

But they really do work to hookup with hot girls fast… and even better, you can keep her around as long as you want, either as a fun f**kbuddy… or as a committed girlfriend.

The bottom line is she'll be emotionally invested in you… and she'll want to do anything (anything!) to please you…

So if that sounds good… just click the link below to watch a short, free video where Craig shows you his top “Hookup Tonight” techniques:

How To Hookup on “Easy Mode”

P.S. I had no idea that saying this to a hot girl would make her want to hook up with youdid you?

[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on August 28, 2019.]

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