You’ve Probably Heard About Younger Women Dating Older Men–So Here's How Any Guy Can Start Sleeping With More Younger Women Right Away…
One of the more gratifying things about being a “man of a certain age” is that the range of women that I'm attracted to seems to expand every year.
When I was 25, for example, my dating range was probably between 22 and 30.
These days, at 48, I could comfortably date women from, say, 30 to 58 — and I'd likely not turn down a sultry 62-year old or a good-to-go 28-year-old.
The thing that's interesting about the age range of women whom I'd be open to dating is that the lower end is much larger than the upper end.
I'm gonna go ahead and guess that's true for most of us older guys:
We're more interested in younger women than we are in older women.
So if a younger woman is who you'd like to have in your bed, how do you make that fantasy a reality?
I've got a few different strategies, and today I want to share them with you.
Are Younger Women “Off Limits”?
Compared to a lot of guys my age, I'm pretty conservative — I tend to like women in my decade: their 40's.
However, that doesn't mean I haven't dipped my toes below (or reached my fingers above) that loose preference. Hey, there's definitely something to be said about younger women.
There are certain advantages to dating younger women that you don't get dating a woman your age (or older).
They appreciate a man who's a little more experienced. If you're a good dad, for example, they often think that's sexy.
And younger women can usually more than keep up with you — in more ways than one.
Your #1 Advantage as an Older Man
When it comes to meeting younger women, we older men have one key advantage over younger guys:
Yep — being older actually makes you more attractive to younger women.
As with any idea, there are many competing theories as to why this is so.
They range from women's beauty fading faster than men's, to the notion that many younger women simply have “daddy issues.”
Whatever the actual reasons may be, it's clear that older men — especially in this day and age — enjoy a big advantage over young guys when it comes to dating younger women.
Some research suggests that younger women's preference for older men, particularly when the women are still in their childbearing years, is based on genetics and evolution.
As the theory goes, an older man who is in good shape and has done well for himself appears genetically superior to a younger man, whose future is still an unknown commodity.
The older man is, therefore, a more desirable mate and sire for the young woman's offspring.
It Doesn’t End There…
These are rarely conscious decisions being made in the modern era — I won't deny that.
(In fact, did you know that most of what attracts a woman to a man is subconscious? You can watch this video to see more.)
The study, instead, suggests that younger women are hardwired, because of this evolutionary past, to be attracted to older men.
Other studies and psychologists suggest that it's about being on equal footing when it comes to emotional and intellectual maturity.
Women, as is generally known, mature more quickly than men.
So, for a woman to find her equal in maturity level, she must find a male partner who is older.
The “Online Dating” Effect That Works in Your Favor
A handful of magazines and women-oriented websites suggest that this particular aspect of the younger woman/older man phenomenon has been exacerbated by online dating.
Apps like Tinder have sent women fleeing from “barrage[s] of d**k pics,” the death of romance, and expectations of immediate sex from immature, younger men.
As Jessica Jacobs wrote on Acculturated:
Older men are attentive, they aren’t threatened by your career success, they didn’t grow up watching porn on their laptops, and they certainly don’t expect sex from you before you’ve even had a chance to meet.”
It’s not an “old-fashioned” dating scheme, it’s just a more humane one.
Probably the single greatest benefit that women see in dating older men is your perceived experience.
Think about it: you've been dating women for decades.
Most older men have dated several women, tried many different things in life, romance, and sex, and have perfected many of the ways in which they move through life.
Opening doors may be second nature to you, for example.
Or maybe taking command at a restaurant is a no-brainer. And when it comes to sex, there is no fumbling.
In the last year alone, four women — two younger and two older, as it turns out — looked at me after sex and asked, “How did you do that?!”
Each one of them, word for word.
It's clear that your experience in all aspects of being an older man gives you a big leg up over the young ‘uns out there. But where should you go to meet younger women?
Where Do Younger Women Who Want Older Men Usually Hang Out?
So, where can an older guy go to meet younger women? I thought I'd check with Glenn, one of our experts here at Gotham Club, to answer this question.
As it turns out, this is not at all the question you should be asking.
According to Glenn, the place to meet younger women is “everywhere.” He says that looking for a particular spot is simply a crutch that men use to prop up their existing insecurities.
When it comes to meeting younger women — or any women, for that matter — Glenn says that the “best odds are yourself, not your environment.”
It's all about “confidence, deservedness, and self-worth.”
This goes right back to the reasons that younger women are attracted to older men.
They perceive you as having superior genes, being more mature, and having much more experience than your younger competition.
So, it's important to make sure that you look and act the part.
Step 1: Look the Part
Part of looking the part involves not appearing like you're trying to dress “younger” than you are.
This is self-defeating in a couple of different ways:
First, younger women like you because you're older.
Trying to appear younger takes away from your “older man mojo” and could, ultimately, ruin your game.
Second, if you look like you're hopping on every passing fashion trend or seem to be going through some mid-life crisis, you're going to lose maturity points.
So dress in a way that's you — comfortable and mature.
This doesn't mean you have to wear a suit every day, but you should look put together. Simple things like coordination and a neat appearance go a long way toward looking your part.
Of course, being mature and acting your age doesn't mean you shouldn't be fun.
In fact, you should be fun. Just not obnoxious.
It's a fine line to walk, but younger women will appreciate that you know how to have a good time.
Step 2: Act The Part
Once you look the part, you have to act the part too.
What does this mean?
At the end of the day, it's your confidence and maturity that attracts younger women to you, so you have to be confident and mature.
The way you act is crucial to your success in getting with younger women.
This is where Glenn's advice becomes crucial.
He says, “If you believe you're creepy because you desire younger women, you'll be creepy.”
So, if you're awkward and uncomfortable around younger women, you may need to rethink your dating criteria.
On the other hand, Glenn notes that:
If you believe you're worth it and deserve to be with younger women, then you'll have an abundance of younger women.”
The trick, then, is finding your confidence.
If you think dating younger women is important and you're willing to make an effort to do so, then you've got to put in the work to get confident enough to do so.
(Building confidence around women is a lot easier if you feel confident with your skills in the bedroom. Try this cool little exercise for maximum sexual confidence.)
3 Tips That Will Make Finding a Younger Woman So Much Easier…
Now that you've established that your confidence and demeanor are more important for meeting younger women than the environment you're in, should you just get out there and start introducing yourself to every younger woman you see?
As you may have guessed, the answer to that question is “No.”
So are there places where younger women tend to go to meet older men?
And if so, where are they?
Here are a few tips based on my own experiences pursuing younger women:
1) Avoid Clubs
Let's start with what should be an obvious “don't”:
Don't go to clubs.
Yes, there are young women there. However, places that are geared toward younger people highlight your age.
According to Glenn, this can kindle your insecurity.
So stick with places you might normally go and pay attention to the women who are also there. Chances are at least some of the women there will be younger than you.
2) Go Where Younger Women Travel
Higher-end lounges and restaurant bars are always good places to go to meet younger women.
So are hotel bars, where young women who travel for business may end up.
Museums and art galleries — two places that women traveling through a city may frequent — are also places where you could meet younger women in search of an older gentleman.
These types of environments tend to root out less-mature men.
Plus, with a bit of studying, you can use these environments to create some talking points with which to launch a conversation.
3) Use Your Gym to Your Advantage
Finally, if you belong to a gym, try taking one of the classes offered there.
Glenn suggests yoga — he says it sends a message that you're taking care of your body and are interested in staying fit and healthy.
Plus, it's good for your flexibility and stamina, regardless.
If you aren't a member at a gym, try joining meetup groups or other fitness classes.
Whether it's an art class, rock climbing, or anything else, all of these are great ways to easily meet a lot of younger women.
How to Have a Conversation & Sexually Escalate With Younger Women
So you've found a good spot to meet younger women — how should you start talking to them?
In my experience, if you know how to talk with older women, you can talk with a younger woman just as easily.
There are 3 key things to remember:
1) Listen to Her Opinions
If you're an older guy, then you've probably had a lot of life experience.
You have had years to form your own opinions and even grow set in your ways. Many young women, on the other hand, are still figuring things out.
They probably don't want to be told how to think, preached to, or get into an argument in their first conversations with you.
Moreover, younger folks — like Millennials — value open-mindedness and flexibility.
Even if you do have your own strong opinions about a topic, you need to listen to the woman you’re talking with, value her opinions and have an open mind about their validity. Yes, even if you don't share in her outlook.
2) Avoid Politics & Religion
Unless your own opinions are very flexible, you should probably avoid topics like politics and religion right off the bat.
Although, in the current dating climate, support for certain political candidates has become a vetting question that's hard to sidestep. I won't deny that.
So if you suspect your politics are different from those of a woman you're interested in, do what you can to avoid that topic until you're more comfortable with one another.
Music, movies and TV shows are always good topics if you need a quick “Plan B.”
It also helps if you have a breadth of knowledge in these topics, even if your own tastes are narrow.
You could also pay attention to the Internet or social media to figure out what's popular out there.
And from there, I've got one more easy hack to start a great conversation with a hot, younger woman:
3) Ask Her Questions
Always ask the woman with whom you're talking about herself:
What does she do for a living…?
Does she like it…?
Where does she see herself in a few years…?
Travel is also a good, safe topic.
It's even better if you're well-traveled yourself because it offers a glimpse (realistic or not) of what being with you could be like.
Always start with her though:
Does she like to travel? Where has she been? Where's she going next? What's her favorite place in the world? What's her bucket list destination?
Everybody has to eat, so food is also a great conversation starter.
Not only can you talk about food, itself, and each other's favorites, but it also opens the door to conversations about restaurants, wine, and beer.
Should You Talk About Your Kids & Your Ex?
As always, if you have kids (as awesome as they may be), don't talk about them — unless she brings it up first.
The reasoning behind this is that you want to be as open a book as possible when you first meet a woman.
She may want kids, herself, and dismiss you out of hand simply for having them already — before learning anything more about you.
Also, if you're divorced or are recently out of a long-term relationship, don't talk about your ex.
And if she does ask about your ex (which she might), speak about her in as neutral a tone as possible.
If you're too negative, you may come off as the bad guy in the relationship.
On the other hand, if you're too positive, you could sound like you're still hung up on your ex. Neither of these is good things.
On the same note, don't ask her about her ex(es), either. If she brings it up, ask a polite question or two and move on.
Here's the truth: I've talked to way too many women who have described bad dates with men who wanted “too many” details about their ex or divorce. Just avoid it however you can.
So She Seems Into You–How Should You Ask Her Out?
Are you comfortable with social media or texting?
Many younger (and older!) women will expect you to communicate via social media or text messages.
If you insist on voice calls, you're simply limiting your potential for communicating with women who may be interested in chatting with you.
So if you started chatting with your younger lady on a dating site or app, there are a couple things you need to avoid.
Unless she offers it, don't ask for her phone number until you've met her in person first.
Next, make sure you ask her out sooner rather than later.
Attention spans are short these days and many younger women's online profiles are rife with complaints about “endless texting.”
So once you've established that you have a rapport, act on it and ask her to meet for a drink or coffee.
Don't offer dinner right off the bat — it's too much of a commitment.
And once you're on your date, it's time to figure out if she's a sexual match.
How to Tell if She’s Ready to Sleep With You
So you've connected with a younger woman, and now you want to take it up a notch.
There are a few things you need to figure out before you take the plunge, though — especially if the age gap is significant.
The two of you need to lay some cards on the table.
What do you want out of the relationship? Do you even want a relationship, or are you looking for something more casual?
The reason it's important to deal with these issues up front is that there may be some expectations on your lady friend's part that could be deal breakers if the answers aren't right.
She could be really into you, and maybe she wants a long-term relationship with you (for example).
Are you up for that with someone 10, 20, or even 30 years younger than you?
If so, what if she wants kids?
These are all things to think about.
Of course, you don't need to barrage her with questions in your first five minutes of meeting each other. However, these are all things to keep in mind if it seems like the date could end up back at one of your places.
Taking It to the Next Level: Look for Her Signs
Laying your cards on the table and listening to what she has to say will help move along the relationship in a couple ways.
First, you'll both know what you're after, and if you've decided to proceed, you'll be on the same page.
From there, read the signs.
Read the signs. Look at her eyes. Pay attention to her body language.
(Note: A woman's body language will reveal a lot about her interest level in you. Look for these 7 signs she secretly wants you to know for sure.)
Look for responses and proceed or adjust accordingly.
That’s Not All…
As with any dating situation, if you act too soon or wait too long, you could blow it.
Timing is key, and this is why you need to pay attention to the signs she gives off.
That being said, many women who date older men prefer that the guy takes charge.
So, once you get the “Go!” signal, don't be shy.
After an initial kiss, make eye contact, and ask, “Is this okay?”
Chances are, you won't get a “No,” and a lot of women find the question sexy because it's a sign of respect.
What If Your Nerves Are Getting in The Way?
Second, talks like this build intimacy, and that's a big step toward the bedroom.
The next thing you need to think about is whether you're physically up for it.
While it's a myth that younger women have stronger libidos than older ladies, sex may be more physically demanding with a younger partner.
How are your bits working?
You don't want to perpetuate the myth by being little more than that “droopy-d**ked old guy.”
Plus, it's always more fun if you can stay up for that extra round or two.
And here's the kicker: After you've laid the groundwork, getting a younger woman to keep coming back to you for sex is so easy, you can basically do it with your eyes closed.
How To Get Younger Women to Scream, Moan & Beg You for More In Bed…
I’ll admit it: I used to get nervous as hell when a hot younger woman was into me.
Especially if I got her back to my place… “What if I go soft? Will she laugh at me? And tell her friends about the sad old man who ‘couldn’t keep it up'?”
Well, after that basically happened one night, I had two choices:
I could give up younger women for good… (*yawn*)…
Or I could look for a way to get these younger women off… and keep them sexually satisfied… even if my equipment decided to get a bad case of stage fright.
I'm pretty old school, so I went to Barnes & Noble to look for all the books on sex techniques I could find… I looked through The Kama Sutra… “She Comes First”… and then some “tantra” book caught my eye.
It was by this tantric master, who had discovered a way to give a woman different “types” of orgasms… honestly, I never even knew there were different types of orgasms. Sold.
After I got home, I found a piece of paper in the book with a link to some “supplemental material”… a video of the tantric master showing off techniques to give any woman each of the 3 “types” of orgasms.
I'll admit I chickened out with the first younger woman I wanted to “test” these techniques out on (she never called me back)… but the next girl?
Man, you shoulda seen her face after I gave her the “Deep Spot” orgasm… and she couldn't wait to “repay” me during round two. 😉
Here's the video that shows you how to do all 3–I think you're gonna like this a lot:
[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on February 16, 2020.]