Ever Wonder Why Women Date Bad Boys and Then Complain About Them to You? Here’s the Surprising Truth…
What woman doesn’t want to be treated better?
Shawn Mendes hit the nail on the head with his hit song, “Treat You Better”… at least that’s what most guys think.
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If a woman complains about her “horrible” boyfriend–if she’s readily telling you how unhappy she is — most guys would respond, “Well, dump the a–hole and date me instead!”
You’ll treat her better…be nicer…kinder…more loving…and you just get her.
But are you aware of what she really means when she does this to you? When a woman complains about her boyfriend, is it really because she just can’t figure out that Mr. Right is right in front of her?
What She Really Means When She Says “I Wish He Treated Me Better…”
The easiest way to explain this is through the lyrics to the song I mentioned above — Shawn Mendes’ “Treat You Better.”
Let’s start off with: “I won’t lie to you / I know he’s just not right for you.”
I’ll pretend Shawn is the guy I’m addressing here–he’s the guy this woman is complaining to about her boyfriend.
Here’s what I’d say to Shawn: Shawn, when you tell her “I know he’s just not right for you,” what you’re really saying is you think you’re a better judge of who’s right for her than she is.
And why do you know this? That’s right — because you’re her “close friend.” Her “buddy.”
The next lyrics: “And you can tell me if I’m off / But I see it on your face / When you say that he’s the one that you want.”
Shawn, you’re a nice guy. You can see her angry or sad expression when she talks about her boyfriend. But Shawn…you’re calling her a liar!
You’re saying she doesn’t want to be with him — that she’s unhappy — even when her actions are telling you that she does.
When a woman tells you something like “I wish he treated me better,” what she’s really saying is “You’re such a great friend — thanks for listening, pal.”
She’s putting you in the friend zone.
Which brings me to the next point…
The Mistake That Stops Thousands of Guys From Ever Escaping the Friend Zone…
The next set of lyrics in “Treat You Better” goes like this: “And you’re spending all your time / In this wrong situation / And anytime you want it to stop…”
Shawn doesn’t realize that HE’S spending all HIS time in THIS wrong situation. Which situation?
The friend zone! She’s just sitting here talking about her boyfriend, and Shawn is quietly listening in the friend zone. Despite her complaints about her boyfriend, she’s not leaving him — it’s clear she still wants him.
This is the mistake guys make that stops them from being in the friend zone: They let women put them there in the first place (but more on that in a second).
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The next lyrics: “I know I can treat you better than he can.”
Here, Shawn is telling her he’d be happy to destroy her relationship! Even though his intention is to “treat her better,” what he’s really saying is “You should be with me, and you’re stupid if you don’t want to.”
Let’s skip ahead a little: “Tell me why are we wasting time?”
Ummm, Shawn. YOU are the one wasting time. She spends time with her boyfriend, and then she spends time with you…talking about her boyfriend. And by continuing to spend time with her and accept this behavior, you are showing her that your time doesn’t matter as much as hers does.
If you’re in a situation like this, here’s what’s really happening:
This woman is getting everything she wants from a boyfriend — an ear to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a best friend to vent to — from you. But she’s getting the most important thing — sex — from her boyfriend.
Thanks to you, she has the whole package. This is great for her — but not for you.
So What Can You Do About It?
The first step to getting out of the friend zone is to recognize that you’re there in the first place.
And once you know you’re there — you recognize that you’re giving her all of the emotional benefits without receiving any physical benefits — it’s up to you to get yourself out.
You might think that because she’s complaining about her boyfriend, she wants to leave him…
But the fact of the matter is that women tend to find the weaknesses in other people — just because she makes you aware of her boyfriend’s weaknesses doesn’t mean she wants to leave him. It doesn’t even mean she wants him to change!
And if she does want him to change, that’s all it is: She wants him to change. She doesn’t want you to compensate for his misgivings.
It Doesn’t End There…
A lot of what I’ve told you so far is about removing yourself from the situation — recognizing that you’re in the friend zone and getting the hell out of there.
Although I do have one solution that’s worked for me in the past.
It’s less about removing yourself from the situation and “reframing” yourself in her eyes…and it’s way simpler than it sounds:
Imagine Making Her Yours…And Getting Out The Friendzone
Picture this:
She lifts her head from your chest and looks up at you with big eyes: “I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner…you’ve been right in front of me this whole time…”
As you stroke her velvet-soft hair, her exposed nipples grow hard…she pulls your arms around her as you reply, “I always thought you were hung up on what’s-his-name…”
She giggles… “Only because I never really thought of you as that kind of guy…”
You had been the perfect example of “boyfriend material” from the very beginning…it was her fault for not seeing it…”What kind of guy?”
Her lips move slowly down your chest as she wraps her fingers, one by one, around your manhood…“THIS kind of guy…”
As she takes you to heaven for the second time that night, you think back to when it all changed…when you watched this short video… and how much you owe to it for making this moment happen (again, and again, and again…)
Your new reality is waiting for you:
Show me the short video that reveals the “secret ingredient” to get out of the friend zone for GOOD…
[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on August 2, 2020.]
