Want to Get the Hot Girl at the Bar? Try This Conversation Starter…
Bold headline, I know, and even if you’re shaking your head or rolling your eyes at it right now, I promise that by that end of this article, you’ll agree with me.
I’m not talking about conversations online by the way–I mean in person, on the street (not Tinder).
Because even though a lot of relationships DO start online… it’s no secret, Tinder is over-saturated with users, and in fact studies show up to 25% of relationships begin in restaurants and bars today.
(Which is up from 10% in 1940.)
I guess the most compelling thing I could tell you before reading this is that in all my 10 years of researching, testing, and comparing notes with my contemporaries, I have never found a better way to start a conversation than the method I’m about to show you.
The Giant Mistake Most Men Make (And How to Avoid It)…
Most men go out and see an attractive woman they want to talk to. But they have no idea how to talk to women.
They try their best to think of something witty or funny to say, and 15-30 minutes later they still haven’t come up with anything. By then she’s talking to another guy or has left the bar or party completely.
Now if you had a line that was proven to work in almost any situation, then you’d instantly eliminate one of the biggest problems men face.
I’m willing to bet you’ve seen quite a few attractive women over the years, so the only thing that’s been slowing you down is knowing what to say. If you can fix that, then this could totally change your life.
Can A “Line” Be Effective AND Authentic?
Now the big objection I get to using a prepared “line” is that it doesn’t feel authentic. I personally think “authentic” is a hard word to define, but let’s say for the sake of this piece this is how you feel.
My natural response would be: is it worth losing this girl just for the sake of coming up with something original in the moment?
Chances are whatever you come up with will probably be less effective than the line I’m going to offer you (I told you I’ve never found anything better in ten years)… and there’s a good chance you might not come up with anything to say at all.
Also, I don’t think preparing yourself to meet more women by memorizing a few lines is inauthentic at all. People rehearse for anything that’s important, whether it’s a speech or a job interview. By showing up to a bar or party prepared, it’s a sign that you’re actually serious about really meeting a woman.
Finally, the last thing I tell people is, try the line I’m about to give you. If you see a cute girl, start walking towards her, and if you don’t come up with anything better on the way, then just use my line. If you do come up with something better, then use that. It’s win-win.
At least this way you’re not letting a perfectly good girl, or even a girl who could be your next girlfriend or future wife, walk out the door, all because you’re forcing yourself to come up with lines spontaneously.
So What Exactly Is The Line And How Does It Work?
So what’s the big secret?
Not just any compliments, but specifically a compliment that a woman can take credit for.
For example, if you say “nice legs,” then it’s sort of crude. More importantly, it’s not something she can truly take credit for because it’s part of her genetics, so she doesn’t really “take” the compliment.
The Single Best Way To Start a Conversation With Any Woman I've Ever Discovered…
However, if you said, “I really love those bracelets,” then that’s going to go over much better because this is something she’s spent time thinking about. When you compliment a decision she’s made, she feels good about her decision.
My personal favorite line is to say “I like your style,” which can mean many different things, anything from her clothing to just how she generally carries herself. I also like this line because it works in every situation and I don’t have to spend a huge amount of brainpower evaluating what she’s wearing.
That way I can use my brainpower for more important things like focusing on her answers or evaluating her reaction to me approaching her.
Why Is This So Strangely Powerful?
Now in order for you to really understand why compliments work so well, you need to take a look inside a woman’s world.
Women spend a huge amount of time and money in hair and nail salons, shopping for clothing, makeup, accessories, and so on.
After buying all these things, she then spends quite a bit of time deciding what to wear when going out, and then even more time putting it all on.
So you can see exactly how much work women put into their appearance.
So when you or someone else (besides her close friends) notice what she’s done, this usually lands really well.
The other reason compliments are so great is because they show that you’re friendly and have high self-esteem. In order for you to feel comfortable complimenting others, the other person can assume you probably have quite a bit of confidence.
The final, and perhaps best thing about this technique is that it’s basically rejection proof. If you ask a girl a question or display your affection quickly, then it’s easy for her to turn you down.
When you’re simply giving out compliments, it will almost always be well received, even if she’s generally not friendly or has a boyfriend. You’ll also look a lot smoother this way.
The Body Language Secret That Keeps Her Interested In You…
There’s another level to “how to talk to girls” that goes beyond the words that you use, and that’s what your body is doing while you’re saying them.
Typically I like to:
1) Walk slightly past the girl of my interest,
3) Lean back while twisting my upper body towards her, and
The real key here is to make sure that your feet are facing away from her. That way you generally seem as if you’re headed in the opposite direction and just stopped her to give her a compliment “really quick.”
Say this again: make sure your feet are pointing away from hers before you stop her. 95% of the time when I teach this little trick to a guy, he turns his feet to face the girl out of habit.
Based on my experience, there is a very high chance you’ll make this mistake too. So I’m telling you this ahead of time to help save you some headaches.
And as a final note, here are two reasons you definitely do not want to approach a woman straight on…
1) Facing someone as you walk over to them is aggressive behavior. This is how the guy in the bar walks over to someone that he wants to pick a fight with.
2) It tells the woman that you’re going to be there for a while. When you approach someone face on, it feels as if you’re coming over to say quite a lot and there is no telling when or if you’ll leave.
This is what causes that “icky” feeling in her head–that she needs to get away from a guy because there is too much pressure.
This is what you should be thinking or “acting out” in your mind while you’re delivering this compliment.
I’ll reinforce the whole “I’m just on my way to the bathroom/bar/car/whatever and I just had to stop you really quickly before I left to let you know how great your hair/makeup/shoes/necklace looks” attitude again.
This “I’m on my way out” mindset takes a ton of pressure off the girl and will make her more likely to “chase” you mentally and verbally.
There’s a much higher chance she’ll want you to stick around.
How To Put it All Together & Start Using This on Hot Women Today…
After you give her a compliment, you typically need to ask a question to truly get the conversation started. If I compliment a girl on her clothing, I might next ask, “so do you do something creative?”
The follow-up question must always be relevant to the compliment, in order for it to be logical that you would ask it.
I like this particular follow-up because in addition to getting the conversation started, it’s also a second compliment in disguise. Almost all women like the idea of being thought of as creative and it further emphasizes how much you like her choice of clothing.
You can go out and use this today (yes, really) at your local café, supermarket, bar, party, shopping mall…even just on the street.
I’d try out just the compliment / verbal portion of this technique about 3-6 times. Know that you might not knock it out of the park the first time, but that said, chances for success early on are pretty high.
Then add in the body language and the mindset parts. This will start to feel a little more like acting, but I’d say if you can do this 20 times, then it will begin to feel natural and you won’t have to think about it anymore.
Have trust in knowing that not only have I personally used this to meet thousands of women (including many models and even famous actresses), to get hundreds of numbers, and to get hookups and even girlfriends…
But I have also taught this technique to hundreds of other men who were all stuck, frustrated, and unhappy with their ability to meet women at the time, and it totally changed their lives.
Remember, this is not a theory or an idea I came up with yesterday. This is the single best technique I’ve found in the past ten years of studying this stuff (and comparing notes with other experts as well) and I’ve never found anything better.
And eventually, once you feel comfortable using it, you’ll be able to get hot girls to give you their phone numbers and hookup with you wherever you go.
Your Next Step: How To Get Her # Or Hookup Without Ever Asking Her…
Now what I’m about to show you may sound VERY counterintuitive…
… though when used properly, this is the single best way I know to get a woman’s phone number or hookup with her, without asking her.
Here’s how it works:
After you compliment her, and get the conversation going… wait a few minutes (3-5 is usually best)… and then touch her like this.
This is like the “next level” of sexually escalating with her… and it’s also where most guys mess up.
Because most men ask a woman out, or try to get her # BEFORE touching her in this way… when they do ask her out, she’s not really that invested in the guy. She’s not feeling anything.
Instead, it’s much better to use this subtle touch first, which gets her emotionally invested in you, and even subconsciously thinking about having sex with you.
Again, it’s VERY subtle. You’re not touching her butt, or her boobs, or even the small of her back necessarily… and you only have to do it for like 2 seconds.
Then just keep talking to her like normal… and you’ll probably notice that she starts giggling a lot more… leaning into you…
… and she may even ask you questions like “Where do you live?” or ”Is your place close by?”
When she does, she probably wants to go somewhere more private to hook up!
For my shy, quieter students who seem to struggle with getting sexual with women, this touch technique has made that possible.
So here’s a short guide that shows you exactly how it’s done and why it works so well–try this on the next woman you want:
[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on September 13, 2020.]