Three Letters That Will Let You Know If You’re Getting Lucky

dating deal-breaker
Photo Courtesy Japanexperterna.se (CC BY-NC 2.0)

Shedding New Light on Dating Deal Breakers

A lot of times, online dating and texting experts tell guys to “play it cool” once they get a girl’s number. No exclamation points, no emojis or emoticons, and definitely no LOLs or “haha”s, at least at the start.

The traditional thinking goes that throwing in an “lol” or “haha” makes it seem like you’re laughing nervously, and nervousness is a huge turnoff to girls.

Our own texting expert Glenn Pearce agrees, “I only use an lol if I’m worried she might not get my joke,” Glenn says. And when you have top-notch text game like Glenn does, that’s not very often.

But a recent piece in the New York Post seeks to shatter that old dating myth, among others:

After surveying 5,500 singles as part of its annual Singles in America Survey, online dating site Match discovered that singles using “LOL” or “Haha” to message their significant others were 39 percent more likely to have sex, among other notable findings.

It seems a little counter-intuitive, doesn’t it? But the Match survey (conducted by Drs. Helen Fisher and Justin Garcia, scientific advisors for Match) is pretty rigorous, covering data gathered from over 5,000 singles across the country. For comparison, most election polls use a sample size of around 850 or so.

Speaking of which, another dating myth the survey seemingly destroys is the prohibition on talking politics during a first date.

And while settling on a conversation with a total stranger could be the epitome of awkward, as the study shows, nearly all topics are on the table — politics included.

‘The coming year is special: it’s political, and today’s singles have vivid opinions about what they will not tolerate in a leader,” Dr. Fisher said. By sharing whether or not you agree with Donald Trump’s latest Twitter rant against Ted Cruz, it could boost the likelihood of date No. 2 by 91 percent. And while the majority of Hillary Clinton’s supporters fancy vino over a cold one, 43 percent of them are “actively looking for commitment.”

I’m not going to get into the political weeds here, but I’m still inclined to think that despite what the survey says, it’s probably not a good idea to bring up politics on the first date.

At first, you might be thinking, “Why not? Screen her early and screen her fast!” And that can be very good advice–you should absolutely screen girls for traits that are important to you.

It’s a concept that Mark Manson refers to as “polarization.” Don’t hide behind the toned-down veneer that so many guys put-on for first dates.

Instead, you should be yourself, and be brutally honest to her. That way you don’t waste time with women who have some fundamental disagreement with you, and you can find one that you’re more compatible with.

But is politics really that important? Hell, James Carville and Mary Matalin, two of the most accomplished political consultants in American history, two people who have dedicated their lives to politics, have been on opposite sides of the aisle for years.

And yet they remain happily married.

My point is that I can’t imagine two people to whom politics would be more important, and it’s obviously not a deal-breaker for them. So is it really that much more important for you?

And if so, where do you draw the line? How do you define a “dating deal-breaker?” Can you even explain it? Or is it just something that “you know it when you see it?”

At any rate, I’ll have a much deeper look into the Match survey (you can find some of its findings here) in the coming days and weeks. In the meantime, think about what’s truly a deal-breaker for you. Write it down if you have to.

That way, you’ll narrow in on girls that fit your “type,” and save yourself a lot of time and trouble in the process.

Share this...
Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter