Discover The Secret to Showing Women Emotion Without Scaring Them Away–Plus How to Keep Hot Girls Around For Hookups & Casual Sex As Long As You Like…
Hey, what's up? It’s Ruwando here on behalf of Gotham Club, and today we're going to answer some questions.
This one is from Chad. He says:
“Hey man, love the vids. I recently had a really hot girlfriend of about six months… and had some pretty rough sh** happen to me.
Long story short, I ended up crying on her shoulder one night. She seemed very nurturing and supportive that night.
But the next time we went out, she dumped my a**.
I thought I was supposed to be open and honest about my emotions. Did I do something wrong?”
Alright, so Chad, and everybody out there. vulnerability is super important.
This is a very important topic because I think a lot of guys have had this happen, which is why so many guys believe that vulnerability is not a good thing.
I’ll show you the truth below:
Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
So first of all, yes, when you're open with someone… things like this could happen.
What I want to clarify, though, is that softness and strength are two independent variables.
A lot of guys think that strength and hardness are synonymous. Our society even reinforces this idea.
And there are times when that's the case in relationships.
The best way you could be, however, is both soft and strong.
So if you're being open with a woman yet you're turning her off with your openness, then yes, you're being soft.
But you might be “needy” soft, or you might be soft in a way that demonstrates your weakness and insecurity.
And that is not sexy. So there are a couple reasons why she could have left.
The first could be that she's simply an insecure woman who expresses her insecurity through avoidance.
And she wasn't tolerant of someone else being vulnerable, because she doesn't want to be vulnerable herself.
If that's the case, it's not really on you.
However, chances are there's some element of you that was demonstrating an insecurity.
In some way, you may have been turning her into a mother figure or a caretaker while you were being vulnerable.
Are You Sub-Communicating the Wrong Kind of Vulnerability To Women?
You also might have been sub-communicating, “Hey, can you fix me?”
And in a long-term relationship, the hope is that any woman you're committed to over a long period of time will tolerate that from time to time.
I mean, no one's perfect. No man is perfect.
If the woman is secure, she shoul be able to see and understand that.
However, when she's in that role of taking care of you, she is kind of in a nurturing motherly role.
And she can't be both a mother and a lover at the same time.
There's no way she's going to be sexually attracted to you while you're in that state.
However, when you're being vulnerable, you CAN still be vulnerable in a way that demonstrates your strength.
And even more important, it's goo ot know why these things matter in relationships.
The reason why women are attracted to these traits is biological.
All of attraction is driven by survival and replication on some basic or, you know, reptilian level.
And if she feels like she has to take care of you all the time, you're not going to be able to take care of her.
That's why it matters so much.
You Might Lose Her If You Never Show Your Vulnerability Though–Here’s The “Right” Way to Do It…
At the same time, if you're never vulnerable, she's not going to trust that you'll stick around.
Here's an extreme example:
If you're really strong, and you're not showing any weakness, she'll be like, “OK, this guy can handle his own sh**…”
At the same time, she's also going to be thinking, “But if I sleep with him an make myself vulnerable and become pregnant, I can't trust he's going to stick around if he's not being vulnerable with me.”
Which is why many women want to be with a guy who's vulnerable.
Instinctively, that's what's going to make her feel safe.
But on the other hand, if you are really open and vulnerabe, she might think she has to fix all your problems for you.
She's gonna be like, “Well, if I'm pregnant and vulnerable, he can't even take care of himself.”
So you have to demonstrate that you're someone she can be physically vulnerable with.
Very simply, you have to cry like a man.
There are these videos you might have seen… they show a little kid trying to break a karate board.
And he tries, he can't do it and he's crying… and the instructors are encouraging him and not letting him give up.
So that's what you have to do.
You Can Cry Like A Man & Still Show Your Secure Strength (Here’s How)…
You can cry like a man, and still breka the board.
That is perfect imagery of how men should be vulnerable.
You can have your feelings, you should have your feelings, be an emotional person…
But still take care of your sh**.
Admit to your faults, admit your insecurities. admit to your weaknesses, but still take care of your sh**.
If you can be vulnerable and that way, she's never going to doubt your ability to be secure and take care of her when she's vulnerable.
And that's the most important thing. That's why all of this matters.
And here's how it gets you laid:
How To Be Vulnerable AND Sexy At The Same Time…
It sounds like a total contradiction, I know…
That’s because when done in the right order they turn a woman on REALLY fast… and give her “tunnel vision” where she only thinks about banging you.
Doesn’t matter what you’re telling her…
You could be telling her about mittens, your precious pet cat who ran away when you were young.
You could even be telling her about your phobia of dogs… because of that time in the second grade when a german shepherd tackled and humped you senselessly for 12 minutes.
It doesn’t matter…
All she’s going to be thinking about is unzipping you… climbing on top of you… and having her way with you as soon as humanly possible.
It’s like I said earlier, women need a man who can be vulnerable like a man.
She doesn’t want to feel like she has to take care of you… but when you touch her in the right ways she won’t feel like she has to “mommy” you either.
Instead, she’ll feel like you’re the kind of guy who can push forward, and still go after what he wants… even during times of vulnerability.
In my experience this is the easiest and fastest way I’ve found to build a deep connection with a woman, and still get laid: