If you don’t have any sexual confidence, then women will never be able to recognize your sexual desire for her — and so the sexual tension she needs isn’t going to be there.
What can you do about it?
If you’re reading this right now, then I know you want to become the best you can be in the game of sex and relationships.
So together, with my friend and model Julia, we’re going to help you unlock your sexual confidence and create sexual tension with the next woman you want.
When Being A “Nice Guy” Goes All Wrong…
What I notice about a lot of men looking to make some kind of connection with a woman — usually sexually — is that they want to smother her with attention.
A lot of guys barrage women with compliments, thinking that this is an attractive thing to do.
However, put yourself in that situation, but from the woman’s perspective.
While every woman enjoys a well-placed compliment, to be bombarded with them is almost worse than being insulted.
It’s annoying and… here’s a word we’ve mentioned before… creepy.
This is the well-known mantle of “The Nice Guy” which is — to be blunt — the bottom of the barrel of sexual candidacy.
So what can you do about it?
How to Use My “Confidence Level Spectrum” to Avoid Being “The Nice Guy” Or “The Creep”
Ultimately, “Nice Guys” are fake people who aren’t willing to show their true selves.
The reason that it’s not attractive to women is because the “Nice Guy” defies what a man actually is.
I don’t mean that men aren’t kind, but I do mean that men should be of substance.
In this case, the Nice Guy is lacking in substance; he’s a fake version of himself.
Thinking that a great way to win a woman’s affection is to be a fictionalized, romantic character who — if he plays his cards right and has some patience — can get the girl… is completely off-base.
Reading that should help you realize just how ridiculous it actually is.
Continuing with an analogy, this is like deciding to rob a bank by feeding the teller compliments until she gives you a sack of money. It’s not real.
Here’s what Julia had to say about it. I think it brings this concept together nicely:
Basically, as a woman, it’s very much a turn-off when a man puts on this fake image… like ‘Oh I’m really nice. I’m really sweet. I’m really sensitive. You should f**k me because I’m really so sweet, and nice, and sensitive.’ It’s a turn-off.”
The Nice Guys are fake. They don’t represent what a person is really like.
And every man who puts on the Nice Guy act is, at the end of the day, lacking in confidence.
So imagine, if you will, a spectrum. Or a line. Whatever.
Let’s call it the “Confidence Level Spectrum.”
On the very left end of that spectrum, we have the Nice Guy and the guys who never even try to make a move.
(Note: Making a move is a lot easier if you know a girl is into you first. Look for this body language if you want to know for sure.)
This is the “Lacking in Confidence” end of the spectrum.
And those are the two little words you need to communicate in order to generate sexual tension: “I want.” (But more on that in a second.)
So now, I want (no pun intended) to show you a newfound way to practice your confidence… but there is one thing to keep in mind:
Remember, rejection is natural. It’s growth, not a failure. This is the mindset you need to have.
With my help, your rejection rate will be much, much smaller — but you’ll still need to know that it can happen nonetheless.
Is It Really That Easy?
First, I want you to start practicing your newfound sexual confidence by using it in your everyday life.
Leave the bedroom behind for a second, and instead focus on the right now:
What do you want right now?
Is it a soda? Do you want to go for a run? Do you want to text your friends back?
Instead of thinking about the reasons not to do these minor actions, just start doing them.
If that means you have to get up and go to the fridge, then do it. (Or whatever it is you want to do.)
Over time, I realized that a man’s confidence can reach an all-time low if his confidence is never challenged in the first place.
If you’ve become complacent about certain things in your life, then, your confidence begins to gather dust.
It’s that muscle that goes un-exercised. This also explains why simple tasks are often the most difficult to complete.
So defy that feeling and do what you want — no matter how small the task is.
This is forward motion in action. Once you start moving with motivation, then you can take your practice to the street.
Until now, you’ve been thinking I want — now start saying it.
How to Use My 3-Step Plan in The Real World
Try practicing this “I want” strategy at work or while you’re out with friends:
“I want us to make our quota this month; let’s talk about ways we can make that happen.” Or…
“I want us to go out and enjoy this beautiful day instead of staying in. Who’s in?”
The key here isn’t about being rude or abrasive, but about being confident in your wants.
You want your intentions to have no faltering in the minds of those that you’re conversing with.
These two simple words — I, and want — change the structure of a sentence from floating an idea that people can easily reject… to something that people have to then use their own confidence to respond to.
This is your life. What do you want?
And once you feel confident with this concept, it’s time to use it in a sexual setting. Hey, that’s what it’s all about, right?
If you’ve been confident in your everyday life, then there’s no reason that this won’t easily translate into the connections you build with women.
Here’s an Example…
So if you’re talking to a woman and you’re feeling the good vibes, it’s time to communicate your wants.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table — just let things evolve naturally.
For example, “I want to kiss you” tends to work well for me.
Here’s another example — it’s a story of one of my readers that I love to tell for inspiration:
This guy’s routine was to approach women in a group of his own friends and begin just saying anything they could think of.
After some time, it became clear that they were more or less just trying so nobody could say that they weren’t.
They never really expressed a desire to get with women… and that wasn’t clearly apparent since they did this activity as a group.
Deciding that that wasn’t good enough for him, this guy said to the group:
“I actually want us to try and get with women tonight. I think that’s best achieved if we each approach separately.”
With this mindset, and with nobody confident enough to question him, he put this into action.
I’m sure you can fill in the blanks from there, but these days, this guy is on top of his game.
(Hell, he’s even pointed a few of his friends my way for advice! Here’s the first thing I show every guy who’s looking to get better at sex & dating.)
Won’t She Think You’re Too “Aggressive”?
This simple statement of your wants is in no way forceful — nor should you make it that way.
Again, remember that you’re building connections here, not bullying people until they submit.
Like I mentioned earlier, she might say “no” to you… but the fact that you’re confident with your intent is powerful.
This evolves from you telling her you’d like to kiss her, all the way to your desire to take her back to your place. From there, you can express your want to sleep with her.
Once again, I can always count on Julia to give useful insight into the female mind:
This goes back to truthfulness. If you’re being truthful and honest about where you’re at and what you desire, a woman will respect that and sense that.”
Julia also notes that these sorts of interactions are especially memorable — even when they end in rejection.
While this may mean you’re not always getting what you want, it also means that this woman will respect you more for being a man who’s aware and in control of his desires.
From a woman’s point of view, respecting a man is something that’s not immediately earned. Instead, it’s a prized thing that you should cherish once you have it.
In order to be really clear about your wants, it’s also important to make sure that you’re not taking this concept and giving it an inquisitive twist.
It shouldn’t be a question. “I want to kiss you…” Should never be relayed as, “Can I kiss you?”
And that’s because it doesn’t show her maximum confidence in your desires.
Instead of putting your wants first, a question shows that you’re still apprehensive of the result.
While this isn’t a surefire way to fail, it’s best to stay away from communicating your wants as a question.
Remember, this is about maximizing the potential of what you want through confidence.
Now Put It All Together…
It’s true that I can give you all the insight that my experience has to offer, but there’s one thing I can’t do.
I can’t crawl into your head and make you flip the confidence switch. You can read every article there is, but it takes your willingness to get yourself there.
The coolest thing about this whole process is that you’ll be so damn surprised at how often you’ll get exactly what you want — and not just in sexual situations. This applies to all people across the world.
But to speak on sexual situations, I can’t tell how many times this has expedited sexual connections by just simply saying, “I want [blank].”
And once you use your sexual confidence to get her on the same page… you’ll want to give her a night of amazing sex.
Sexual confidence can certainly help with this, but it won’t do the whole job for you.
Here’s what I and other experts use to prepare for a night of mindblowing sex:
If You Want to Get a Hot Girl in Bed & Chasing After You…
… then first, she has to feel DESIRED.
And if you follow the steps I’ve shown…you’ll be able to cut the sexual tension with a knife…and she’ll feel how deeply you want her.
… and 9 times out of 10, sex will happen naturally!
She won’t be able to help herself!
But here’s the thing… if you don’t want to be a “one-hit-wonder”, then you HAVE to truly satisfy her in bed.
And personally, there’s one thing I do to make sure every woman I take home is 100% satisfied with my performance EVERY TIME!
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