Sex On the First Date Is More Common Than Most Guys Realize — Check Out The PROVEN Strategies That Will Get You Laid on Your Next Date Below…
Today I'm going to show you 11 easy, scientifically proven ways to make sex on the first date more likely.
There’s an age-old myth that says sex on the first date is a bad idea. This notion has been around for decades, and — like many pieces of advice — could likely use a little updating.
While it’s true that much has changed since this rule was first uttered, there’s still a certain stigma associated with having sex on the first date, especially for women.
Which can make figuring out exactly how your date is supposed to end pretty difficult for you. If you and a woman are connecting, for example, you might want to bring her home… but maybe you're worried about being presumptuous or upsetting her.
However, here's an interesting fact: 55% of singles have had sex on the first date!
These days, sex on the first date is becoming more and more common. And of the 55% of singles who have had sex on the first date, 44% of them were women.
So when is sex on the first date actually OK? And how do you know when she's into it?
Here's a complete guide that will show you everything you need to know about getting down and dirty on your first date.
3 Signs You Should Definitely Have Sex on the First Date
There’s no hard rule on when to have sex on the first date, but there are some telltale signs that can help you determine if you should try for sex or not.
The first sign that she's willing to go home with you is that she's laughing really hard at all your jokes.
Most women know that men like to feel funny and entertaining — so if you're making her laugh until it looks like she might cry, it's a dead giveaway she's trying to show you she's interested.
Secondly, sex on the first date is probably a good idea if she won't stop flirting with you. It may seem obvious, but a lot of guys miss this one.
So if she's touching you a lot, or playfully “teasing” you throughout the entire date, then you should probably invite her back to your place for a “drink.”
Finally, the last sign that sex on the first date is a good idea is if she lets you kiss her.
The first date kiss can be nerve-wracking, but it's also the only way to figure out if you have chemistry. So if she kisses you, or she lets you kiss her, use this time to figure out if you want to take things further.
And if you do? Then I'll show you exactly how to escalate in a bit.
But first, let's talk about the pros and cons of having sex on the first date.
Sex On the First Date: The Pros
Sex on the first date isn't nearly as taboo as it used to be — there's no denying that.
However, some women still consider it to be mildly “scandalous.”
(In fact, most women are so afraid of coming off as “easy” that they struggle to show guys that they're interested in them. Take this quiz to see if the girl you want is into you.)
So if the woman you're with seems interested in you but is acting hesitant, is there a way you can convince her that everything will be fine?
Yes — here are a few convincing reasons why sex on the first date is, in fact, a good idea.
1) It Releases Sexual Tension
Is there anything worse than those nervous jitters you get on a first date with a hot woman?
While exciting, all of that sexual tension can quickly turn into nervous energy, which can leave both of you feeling a little on-edge.
The best way to cut this kind of tension? Just get it over with!
Getting sex out of the way on a first date can help alleviate the sexual energy that makes both of you feel awkward around one another. Plus, it can help you connect with her on a deeper level, which makes conversations with her more easygoing on future dates.
2) You Won't Waste Your Time Figuring Out if You Have “Chemistry”
It's not crazy to want to know if you have chemistry with a woman right off the bat.
Chemistry is important, and for many people, no chemistry can be a deal breaker.
Why worry about getting emotionally invested with a woman, only to find out weeks down the line that you two don't really connect sexually?
On the flip side, if you and a new woman are really feeling each other, giving into that temptation allows you to connect even better early on. So you can enjoy sex with each other more than you otherwise would, and sooner.
3) Her True Intentions Are Exposed
With apps like tinder making dating more routine and casual, it's not just men who are taking women out and never calling them again — women are doing it too.
Dating can be a pretty tough game, especially when you're not sure if the woman you're going out with is really into you or not.
The best way to avoid wasting your time like this is to sleep with her early on. Once you have sex, she's less likely to bolt if she's into you, but more likely to disappear if she's not interested.
It's a surefire way to plan for what comes next.
(Pro tip: If you really want to anticipate how she'll act on a date, then it's best to do your research. This ultimate guide should help you a lot.)
4) Living in the Moment Is Sexy
If you meet an incredible woman who you have great banter with, as well as awesome chemistry, there’s no harm in trying to live in the moment and see where the night goes.
So many of us — both men and women — plan out so much of our lives that taking a break and just enjoying being in the present with someone else can be a real turn-on.
Plus, many women love guys who are able to make them feel more spontaneous or adventurous than they think they really are.
Whether she turns into a girlfriend or just a one night stand, chances are, you’ll have a lot of fun.
5) It’s Still Sex!
Whether you two decide to keep seeing each other or go your separate ways, having consensual sex is never a bad thing!
(As long as you're safe, of course.)
You likely won’t regret sleeping with that woman you never saw again…
But I can guarantee you’ll always wonder if you should have made a move if you don’t sleep with her and she never calls again.
Why Not Have Sex on the First Date?
You might not want to hear this, but there are a few scenarios when you should opt not to have sex on the first date.
First, if you're feeling too nervous, it's probably not the best idea to jump into bed with this woman.
Because if you're nervous, you might be off your game. And if you don't think you can impress her in bed on the first date, it's definitely best to wait until you're feeling more confident.
Next, consider how much you ate. If you're feeling full, it can be difficult to fully enjoy sex like you normally would.
This will sound obvious, but if she continues to say “No” to your advances, then you should definitely not have sex on the first date. Take her at her word — if you like her, you may get a different answer next time.
Plus, if you're not really that into her, then you can just move on.
Same goes if she drank too much. You may not know her limits when you first meet her, but if she seems really drunk or “sloppy,” don't sleep with her.
You have no way of knowing what she'll remember (or how she'll react in the morning).
Of course, if you don't get to have sex on the first date, does that mean you should stop trying?
Hell no it doesn't! But more on that in a sec.
First, let's talk about the reasons why women will sometimes hesitate to have sex on the first date.
Why Will a Woman Hesitate to Have Sex on the First Date?
If sex on the first date is so good, why aren't more women into it?
While she might just want to get to know you better (which is perfectly reasonable), there could be some other underlying reasons why she's afraid to have sex with you on the first date.
Understanding these can help you better reassure her.
Reason #1: She thinks you'll respect her less.
For decades, women have been hearing that if they act on their sexual impulses, men won't view them as “wife material.” In fact, one study found that 83% of women think this way.
Yet, this same survey also found that 67% of guys say that isn't true!
While you might not be able to change her mind entirely, you can do little things to help put her mind at ease. If she seems to be anxious during your date, let her know you’re nervous, too.
Saying small things to reassure her reminds her that you’re both in this together and helps her remember that you’re also trying to impress her.
And if you do head back to your place, try to make her feel at home by taking her coat, offering to get her a drink, and showing her around so she knows where the bathroom is. It might seem excessive, but it will help show her that you view her as a person and not just a piece of a**.
Reason #2: She’s worried you won’t call her back.
Similar to the above problem, many girls worry that if they sleep with you right away, you won’t call them again. If she’s really into you, sometimes she’ll even be less likely to sleep with you, because she wants to make sure she gets to go out with you again. And unfortunately, it’s been ingrained in many women’s heads that if they sleep with you, they’ll never see you again.
So what can you do about it?
If you’re really into a woman and the night is going well, yet she's warding off any physical advances… there are a few ways you can reassure her and potentially enjoy sex on your first date.
Be sure to mention a different restaurant or venue that you’d love to take her to the next time you both go out. This shows her that you’re not only into her, but that you’re already looking forward to seeing her again.
Reason #3 – She’s too nervous.
Having sex with someone new can be a big deal.
Going out on a first date can also be nerve-wracking.
Combine the two, and it’s easy to see why a woman might be nervous to sleep with you right after meeting you. This problem is fairly common and can be easily overcome.
Make sure you start the date out by complimenting her on how she looks.
Chances are she spent a lot of time on her appearance, so letting her know you’re attracted to her will help get some sexual flirtation going.
To help her feel more comfortable with you, try doing little things throughout the night to touch her, like holding her hand…
Placing your hand on her knee…
Or putting your arm around her. Getting her more comfortable and into the idea of you touching her can help turn your goodnight kiss into a trip to her place.
11 Easy Ways to Boost Your Odds of Getting First Date Sex
So now you know when sex on the first date is a good idea, and when you should wait… how can you maximize your odds that she'll go home with you if it feels “right”?
The truth is, there are plenty of ways to increase your chances of having sex on a first date with just about any woman.
These 10 tactics are the most effective — try them out on your next date, and you might just be getting lucky at the end of the night:
1) Pick A Nearby Venue
If you want to have sex, then privacy is going to be key.
After all, there's the odd “freaky girl” who will absolutely bang you in a bar bathroom or alley…
But most women want to have sex in a bed. Somewhere where they're comfortable.
So that means ideally you'll go somewhere within walking distance of your place or her place.
Ideally, you'd pick your place since that means you're in control of “taking her home,” and not reliant her asking you up… or trying to manufacture an “excuse” to come up (more on that in a second).
So get to know some good, low-priced bars in your area.
A place that has something a little “different” will stand out in her mind.
Anything like a cool theme, unique drink menu, or great ambiance would be amazing.
2) Show Up Early
Arriving early for a date doesn’t just impress her — it helps you look cool, too.
When you get to a restaurant or bar early, you can scope out a perfect spot and arrange the seating so she’s next to you or directly across from you.
You can also order a drink to help relax while you’re waiting, so you’re confident and cool from the moment she arrives.
Bonus: She’ll also love that she’s not waiting for you, which will show her that you respect her time.
3) Compliment Her
As mentioned above, complimenting a girl is a great way to help make her feel more confident, while also letting her know you think she looks sexy.
However, as you're probably aware, the wrong kind of compliment can absolutely kill the vibe.
Generally, you want to stay away from things that are out of a woman's control.
That means steer clear of particular body parts or a generic compliment like “I like your eyes!”
Even something like “Your hair smells nice” can come off as really creepy and serial-killer-y.
So a good one that encompasses everything is Craig's go-to compliment:
“I really like your style.”
She can take it any way she wants–her hair, her shoes, her outfit…
The important part is that it references something she had to do herself!
If she asks you “what about it?” then come back with any of the following:
- Her hair
- Her outfit
- Her shoes
- Her makeup
The more specific you can be the better. So not just “I like your hair,” but more like, “Your hair is really cool–kind of like a bassist in a chick rock bank. Not trying too hard, but looks great and shows you're down to party.”
Of course, that won't apply to every woman you're with!
The point I'm trying to make is notice something specific and tailor it to that particular woman.
4) Dress Like a Guy She Wants To Bang
However you dress is a part of your personal brand.
So while a lot of times you might hear, “Don't wear a band t-shirt and jeans,” that's probably right only 90% of the time.
If it's on-brand, and makes you feel confident, go for it.
Now here's the caveat:
If you're dressed more nicely… or even “suited up”… that is a huge turn-on for a lot of women.
Especially if you're a little bit older and can dress well (in a nice-looking suit, not just something you wear to work)…
It broadcasts maturity… and that you have your act together.
Splurge on a haircut and make sure your facial hair is either shaved or on-point.
I have girlfriends who absolutely refuse to sleep with a guy with stubble…
And others who LOVE a guy with a few days' growth.
So a lot of this is just going to be feeling her out, and seeing what she responds to on the date.
If you dress more formally and sense she's a more casual girl, you can always lose the tie later in the night.
Bonus tip: no matter what, you should definitely shower ahead of time and brush your teeth.
If you find that women often are ready to have sex with you, but then “have an early meeting” or some other lame excuse when it comes time to do the deed…
Then your hygiene may be the culprit.
5) Ask More, Talk Less
Women LOVE talking about themselves.
It's just a fact–we do!
So your best bet when on a date is to keep asking questions about her, and letting that open up other avenues of conversation.
It's even better if your questions can build upon other questions you asked earlier in the conversation.
Here are some good topics women love to talk about:
Hobbies (active ones like rock climbing or hiking are great and let her show off how committed she is to fitness)
Working out (same idea)
Even better if you can make her FEEL something through these.
For example, if you're talking about travel, and she says she's been to a bunch of crazy places, ask her if she ever was in a situation where she felt afraid, or where things got a bit dodgy.
Her mind will race back to that exact moment, and she'll feel an emotional connection to telling you that story.
Not only that, but she'll feel more confident and interesting to you, which should keep the conversation going.
6) Buy Her First Drink
Whether you’re getting coffee or cocktails, be sure to offer to buy her first drink.
If she resists, you can keep things fair by letting her know she can grab the next round or buy on your next date.
I know some guys think that buying a woman a drink is a sign of “weakness” somehow… but the honest truth is women still expect it.
In fact, a recent survey showed that 62% of women still expect a guy to pay on the first date.
This does two things: it shows her that you can take care of her, and it also on some level plants the seed that she “owes you one,” either that same night, or down the road.
7) Don’t DIRECTLY Mention Sex
I know this might sound counterintuitive, but stay with me for a sec:
It’s OK to joke about sex if she brings it up, but don’t try gauging her interest by mentioning sex directly.
Mentioning sex directly on the first date can set off a huge red flag for women that you’re only interested in getting some action.
It's a big gamble… because it can get you laid if she's out specifically looking to get drilled.
However, most of the time, it can be a big turn-off for you to go direct and ask about sex right off the bat.
Now what is sexy is using little innuendo and alluding to sex.
I call it the “That's What She Said!” test.
If you normally might think to say “That's what she said!” or your mind wanders into a little bit of a dirty area…
Then you can kind of let her know that you picked up on it without being crude or forward.
She'll understand what you're getting at… and if sex is on the table that first night, she might either laugh or make her own flirtatious comment back.
This is the kind of lightly sexual flirting that is the first step toward escalating to sex on the first date!
8) Initiate the Flirting
Sometimes chemistry and flirting come naturally, and other times you really have to work at it.
So try finding natural ways to flirt with her during the date, and see how she responds.
Tease her lightly about something that she admits is kinda dorky.
Poke fun at yourself a little bit too if she does the same.
I think one of the best examples of flirting I've ever seen is this scene from The Departed.
If she’s extremely flirtatious back, you can try getting physical by touching her arm or leg.
(Of course, you don't have to make it obvious. Touching her like this should be enough to turn her on.)
The slightest physical contact can be enough to drive a woman wild if she’s really into you.
9) Stay Off Your Phone
If you really want to sleep with her on the first date, you have to make sure she’s feeling comfortable with you.
Women aren’t going to feel turned on by a guy who’s glued to his phone all night. So put the phone away for the date.
Plus it sets the expectation for her to be off her phone all night as well.
If you're both off the phone, it's that much easier to connect over conversation, or to give her one of these 3 touches that turn her on.
10) Suggest It’s Time To Leave
If you sense things are going well, don’t let the night fade away until the high of the date wears off. Instead, when things are going really well, ask her if she wants to get out of there.
You can do this in a couple different ways.
The first way that works is to be direct about it. Just say, “Hey, wanna get out of here? I've got __________ back at my place…” where the “blank” is a nice kind of alcohol she likes.
Use this only if she's giving you all of the signs she's ready to go home with you.
The second way that's related to the first is to casually mention something cool that you have back at your place early on in the night.
Make it something that:
1) You're passionate about
2) Is relatively rare, and
3) She'd like to see whether or not she ends up hooking up with you.
For example, maybe you mention you play the guitar early on. And that you have a really cool guitar you just got.
Then at the end of the night, ask her, “Hey, wanna get out of here and chill while I play that guitar I was telling you about earlier?”
You can do this with all sorts of things:
- Something you're working on in your spare time, like a hobby or a screenplay
- A booklet of scratch-off lottery tickets (yes really–it's exciting!)
If she says “Yes!”, you're golden! She'll happily come back to your place, and you'll probably at least get a makeout… (if you want to guarantee sex on the first date, I'll have more on that in a second…)
If she says “no,” don't worry… it might just mean, “I don't feel comfortable enough with you quite yet.”
Even if she's teetering between going home with you and saying goodnight, a bold, yet harmless action like this can often be enough to sway her toward going back to your place.
At the end of the day, here's the truth:
Sex on the first date is becoming more norm than taboo, which means your odds of sleeping with a new woman on the first date are pretty high.
Though sometimes a woman needs a little extra “push” once she gets back to your place…
Something that will make her desire you so much that she'll HAVE to sleep with you…
Something that primes the sexual tension to a level where she can't take it anymore… and will unzip you…
…put her hand down your pants…
…well… you know 😉
And here's exactly how to make her so uncontrollably horny for you back at your place that she pretty much HAS to have sex with you:
11) This 3-Step “First Date Sex Formula” Makes First Date Sex SUPER SIMPLE
When a hot girl is back at your place… THIS is probably the easiest way to have sex with her:
(Trust me… I'm NOT ashamed to admit this has worked on me more than once 😉 )
Step 1: Tell her to take off her shoes
This makes her feel invited and like she's at home.
It also gets her to start taking her clothes off for you. 🙂
Plus sometimes right after she does… she'll start making out with you right there by the door…
Step 2: Start Guiding Her to the Couch or Bedroom
The idea here is to go somewhere in your place where sex can happen.
So if you have a roommate, get her to your bed.
If you have your own place, you can try the couch. A lot of girls are more comfortable going to the couch first before the bed.
Many times, if you've used the “Hey, wanna see my guitar/art/lottery tickets back at my place?” move, it helps to actually have “the thing” where you want her to go!
So if you have a piece of art you want her to see… it wouldn't hurt to put it above your couch or bed.
The idea isn't to “trick” the girl here–trust me, she knows what's going on…
It's to make her feel “less easy”… and more comfortable with you.
Step 3: Start Touching Her HERE
These aren't the typical spots you might think of… like the breasts or butt…
And honestly, once you know them, you're gonna think “Huh… seems just like an innocent, friendly touch…”
But I assure you… these turn girls on A LOT!
When a guy touches me in these spots… in the right order…
Mmmm… I'm honestly getting a little bit wet just thinking about it 😮
One of our top experts named “Magic” put together a short, free video that'll show you:
- Where these 5 “Sensual Spots” on a woman are
- The proper order to touch them to get her to tear her clothes off within minutes of being at your place, and
- Magic demonstrating each technique on a REAL woman in REAL-LIFE “in-field” footage
P.S. Did you know that it drives me absolutely wild when a guy touches me here? It happens at work a LOT and I can BARELY control myself… 😉
The Sexy Science Behind Why Pre-Date Porn Is a Great Idea…
This recent study has shown that watching porn — even just a few seconds of “softcore” action — can actually help you increase your mental and physical confidence before a first date.
The idea behind it is pretty simple:
When you're getting ready for a date, it's no secret that there's a chance it'll eventually lead to sex.
But if you let that idea get to your head, or if you overthink it, sometimes, your nerves and self-doubt can eclipse that possibility.
According to the research, watching porn before a date reminds you of the possibility of sex on the first date by — duh! — putting sex at the forefront of your mind.
And as a result, this makes you less nervous and worried about whether or not the date will end in sex.
In fact, the researchers found that men who watched porn before a date were more likely to open up and act less nervous on the actual date. Pretty cool, right?
It might not sound like much, but here's the truth:
If you're divulging more personal information on a date, then you're forming that emotional connection that women so desperately want. So she feels closer to you… and possibly more willing to sleep with you on the first date.
It's a win-win.
The Study That Proved Couples Who Sleep Together Earlier Last Longer…
Israeli psychologists at the University of Rochester Department of Clinical and Social Sciences conducted a study recently.
Their findings suggest that sex sooner in your relationship can create a stronger bond.
So, this means that sex early in the relationship can help foster faster emotional connections (and obviously physical connections).
The study found that in both men and women, sex forces couples (even strangers) to connect.
In four studies conducted, the researchers paired up strangers. They found that anonymous attraction triggered behaviors that are known to promote emotional bonds.
They wanted to find out if the anonymous attraction was linked to non-verbal cues called “immediacy behaviors.”
Each participant was asked to lip-sync with an attractive “plant” participant (a researcher in on the study, but the participants thought they were also a participant).
After, they were asked to rate their attraction.
Researchers found that the hornier the participants were, the greater their immediacy behaviors synchronized with the “plant.”
It Makes Sense in Real Life Too…
After all of their studies, the scientists found that triggering the sexual system resulted in behaviors of suggested caring of a partner’s well-being.
They say this is an established signal for if someone is interested in a relationship.
Think about it. You don’t get naked for just anyone.
Unless you are at the gym every day and proudly display your washboard abs, there is probably a part of your body you are not that confident about.
We all try to hide it for as long as we can–especially in the beginning.
We suck in our stomachs, stay flexed at all times, wear socks (if you have a foot thing, idk), and every other crazy thing we do.
All of this in order to delay the inevitable:
Them finally getting a good look at what we have been trying to hide. Once they finally see it, that becomes a deciding factor in the relationship.
Most times, they are completely fine with it and it just makes the relationship so much more comfortable and easy.
Slow Down…To Speed Up and Have Sex on the First Date
Before you race out there to try everything you’ve learned and guarantee yourself sex on the first date, check this out:
I have one more really key fact for you.
Pacing is super important here, guys.
If you want to have sex on the first date, pay attention to one very important sign:
The sign she wants to slow down.
Now, this isn’t bad news, and I’m gonna tell you why.
If you notice this sign soon enough on a first date, your night can still end in incredible sex.
Nothing turns a woman off faster than feeling rushed.
It’s one of the biggest complaints I hear from women of all ages — married, single, dating, you name it.
Even friends who will happily sleep with half the town talk about this as a big red flag…
Women are on the lookout for men who only care about their own needs.
The good thing is, this is an easy mistake to avoid.
All you need to do is watch closely to make sure she isn’t sending you this one important signal.
Let’s say you’ve followed my suggestions to a T. You’re home. You’ve looked at art—fascinating! You’ve banished your roommate to the dumpsters in the alley. Everything is going swimmingly.
You’re making out on the couch. You’ve got her shirt off, maybe, but that’s it. You start going for the bra clasp, or the pants zipper.
And this moment is key.
Pay very, very close attention to what she does now.
Maybe you’re an old pro at opening bra clasps and pant zippers. But right now, just fiddle around gently for a while without actually undoing anything.
Now is your chance to gather key information: pay attention to how she reacts.
If she’s helping your hand along, maybe even undoing the clasp herself, you’re good to go. She’s given you the signal that she’s ready to make this next step.
But if she’s cooling off a little, it’s time to slow down — with the hopes of speeding up again!
Maybe she’s not kissing you quite as passionately all of a sudden. Or she laughs nervously. Or she squirms away a little bit, or loosens her arms around you.
Many women have been in a situation where they felt pressured to do something they weren’t ready for.
If she feels like this, you’re going to trigger her fight or flight feelings, and these are not sexy.
She might not tell you “No,” or push your hand away. She might not even stop you. But she’s not going to be 100% present and ready for whatever comes next.
Meanwhile, the longer you pause before taking the next step, the more hungry she’ll become.
Have a little patience, and she’ll be chucking that bra out the window in no time. (Unless it’s one of those really expensive Victoria’s Secret ones 😉)
With this technique, you’re way more likely to get sex on the first date.
And even if she’s not ready right now, slowing down and listening will guarantee mind-blowing sex when the time is right.
One Final Surprising Benefit of Having Sex on the First Date…
Imagine getting that out of the way a day into the relationship rather than a few months.
Could you imagine how much easier and relaxed the first months of getting to know someone would be if you already showed each other what you are both most insecure about?
Sex sooner in the relationship forces you to connect, and it often can keep a woman interested in you for much longer than if you were to sleep together later.
But what about the logistics?
How do you go about transitioning from the end of your first date, into bed with her?
That’s what I’ll show you next:
This “Secret Ingredient” Gets You Laid on Every First Date You Go On…
… there are many times when a woman will make an excuse to leave, or end a first date early… without so much as a freaking handshake.
And in my experience, this happens for ONE big reason:
Yeah it might sound kinda simple, but think about it… as a woman, if I’m going to sleep with you on the first date, I need to know that you want me first.
And unless there’s SOME touching, and some kind of physical connection… I’ll probably just assume you aren’t *that* into me.
But if you DO touch me… it shows me you know what you want. You’re confident. And it makes me want to have sex with you even more. 😉
All my hot girlfriends & I agree… on a first date, a little touch goes a LONG way, and can really turn us on when you do it in the right way, at the right time.
And when I say little, I mean little.
You don’t want to do it in an obvious or “groping” manner.
You wanna do it in a subtle way that turns her on… and gets her more and more excited to sleep with you…
… so when she wakes up in your bed the next morning, she’ll think it was HER idea:
[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on November 3, 2020.]