Everything You Need to Know About Making the First Move So the Night Always Ends In Sex…
Figuring out how to make a move on a girl can seem overwhelming.
For some guys, this may seem to come naturally, but others move in too soon, or worse yet, miss their opportunity altogether.
A lot of dating experts suggest there could be many reasons why a guy isn’t sure how to make a move on a girl.
Maybe they’re socially awkward…
Maybe they have no experience with women…
Maybe they’re trying too hard…
But the truth is, most of the time, guys don’t know how to make a move on a girl because they don’t know how to tell if a woman is really into them.
Don’t worry–it’s a common problem. Most guys struggle with how to make the first move on a girl, but luckily it’s a problem that’s easily solved.
So today, I’m going to show you the absolute biggest sign she’s dying for you to make a move, and how to do it without ever risking being labeled a “creep.”
How To Make the First Move on A Girl: What To Avoid
Women tend to be much better at reading a person’s “energy” than most men. That means that they can generally pick up on if you’re into them before you realize you’re giving them any signs.
And for that reason, a guy might be making her uncomfortable, based solely on his energy…
But he doesn’t even know it!
Now, when I say “uncomfortable,” I don’t mean an awkward silence or a joke that falls flat. I’m talking about something more.
Sometimes a guy will make a woman feel uncomfortable to the point of feeling fear–this is what women describe as “creepy,” and this is the kind of discomfort I’m talking about.
So what causes this discomfort? Like I mentioned above, a “creepy” guy takes too much action, usually way too soon. It’s what I like to call “escalation without calibration.”
The best way to recognize this kind of “escalation without calibration” is to know what it looks like.
So below, I’m going to lay out the 3 biggest factors women use to determine whether or not a guy is “creepy.”
1) Too Much Eye Contact
Sometimes, a man can look too “hard” at a woman–like a cold, penetrative stare. But it’s more than a stare… it’s the intention behind the stare.
Because women crave attention, a simple stare isn’t going to make her feel fear. It’s how she interprets your stare that causes her to feel that fear.
What do you think will scare her more:
a) A warm, open gaze that feels non-threatening? Or…
b) A cold, straight-faced stare with no emotion?
(Spoiler alert: The answer is b).
Maybe you’re playing hard to get or maybe your default stare is pretty cold and unreadable. Either way, a stone cold look isn’t going to make her feel comfortable with you.
So the trick is to make her interpret your gaze as warm and open. And how do you do that?
The “Right” Kind of Eye Contact She Craves…
Developing a warm and open gaze is no easy feat–it’s difficult for most men to pick up on the subtleties that women instantly pick up on.
It’s also nearly impossible to know what your face looks like in the moment, so while it may sound silly, practicing your expression in a mirror could help.
When you look at a woman, “think good thoughts.” Look at her, and think about what you see that you like–her smile…
Whatever it is, focus on what you like–not what you want to do to her, just what you like about her. Things like how she looks, how she makes you feel, etc.
When you focus on feeling “happy,” and “friendly,” she’ll be much more likely to interpret your gaze as warm and open. And this will put her at ease.
Which brings me to the next factor you can use to your advantage…
2) Beware of Your Proximity
I won’t lie: It feels great to be close to a woman you’re attracted to. Though sometimes, a guy can get a little too close.
When a guy gets too close to her, it feels very intense–especially if she begins to back away and the guy continues to close the gap.
And that’s not because women are afraid of getting close to you! That’s not the case at all. It all goes back to protecting herself.
Think for a minute about the fears that you, as a man, have to face every day:
Getting into a car accident…
Smoking or drinking too much…
And on and on.
But statistically speaking, what do you think a woman’s greatest danger is?
It’s a man. So in her mind, she needs to keep her distance until the moment she feels 100% certain you’re not a danger to her.
So how do you keep your distance while also keeping her interested?
Just try this:
How To Fix the “Proximity Problem”
The easiest way to avoid getting too close to her too soon is to mirror her negative body language.
What exactly do I mean by that? Well, whenever she does something to “pull away” from you… do the same to her.
If she leans away when you lean toward her, lean away just like she did. If she crosses her legs away from you, do the same to her.
It sounds counterintuitive, right? “Move away from her, and she’ll want me more???”
But in reality, when you do this, you’re a) showing her that you’re paying attention to her (since you’re mirroring her body language), and b) making her feel safe.
Because a man who pulls away from a woman when she does is not a man who’s going to make her uncomfortable. He’s not a danger to her life.
And in fact, when you pull away, usually she’ll lean back toward you! She’ll show you what distance is “comfortable” with her body–all you have to do is let her.
The bottom line: Keep your distance until she tightens it. Simple.
3) Don't Touch Her Too Soon
The final factor that can cause a woman to feel uncomfortable is how you touch her. There are all sorts of “wrong” ways to touch a woman:
Sometimes a guy touches her when he shouldn’t…
Sometimes he doesn’t stop when he should…
Sometimes he touches her in the wrong place…
Or in the wrong way…
And the list goes on.
The big issue with this is that touch is the single biggest cause of a woman’s discomfort. Why?
Because it’s the most dangerous kind of “discomfort”–there is ZERO distance between a man and a woman when he’s touching her. And if he wanted to cause her danger, now is the time when she’s at her most vulnerable and exposed.
It’s easy to assume the solution is to just not touch her–if you don’t touch her, you can’t scare her away, right?
Well, that might be true… but you’ll never spark her sexual desire for you without any physical contact. This physical contact is exactly what I mean when I say “make a move”–it’s physical escalation.
Scared To Make the First Move? You’re Not Alone (Here’s Why)
I get it–knowing how to make the first move on a girl can be scary. You’re not alone in this line of thinking. Plenty of guys also don’t know how to make a move on a girl or simply choose not to.
1) They Overthink Things
What if you’re reading her body language wrong? Did she laugh too hard at your joke? Why is she still single?
Some guys spend too much time overthinking a situation and too little time taking action.
Try to get out of your head a little bit and trust your instincts. If she’s laughing at your jokes, she probably likes you.
2) They’re Waiting for Her to Make the First Move
Some guys play it safe by waiting for women to make the first move–or at least make it very clear they’re interested.
INSIDER SECRETS: 27 “Sex Signs” Girls Give Off When They’re DTF…
While this is an interesting approach, it can lead you to miss out on some awesome women. Instead of waiting, try making the first move yourself by approaching her and seeing where it goes.
3) They’re Afraid of Rejection
This is the most common reason why men don’t end up making the first move. No one likes being rejected, and the fear of being turned down is reason enough for not making a move for many guys.
While rejection sucks, you’ll never get anywhere with her if you don’t at least try.
Worst case scenario, a girl you barely know turns you down.
Best case scenario, you go home with the girl you wanted on your arm.
Stop missing out on opportunities and start getting more girls to say yes by knowing how to make a move on a girl. Which brings me to my next point…
6 Signs You Should Make A Move
OK, now that you know a few keys factors to avoid, how do you actually know when to make a move?
Be sure to pay close attention to her body language and words when you’re talking to her, and use these 6 tips to decide if it’s the right time to make a move.
You should make a move if:
1) She Seems Comfortable With You
If you’re talking to a woman you just met, chances are she’s going to be a little nervous initially. She may look away, blush, fidget or laugh a lot.
But, something happens when a woman begins to connect with you. She becomes more confident and relaxed, and these tiny nervous habits all but fade away.
If you’ve been on a few dates, there are easy ways to tell if a woman is comfortable with you. One popular source notes that when a woman is comfortable with you, she’ll do things like make herself at home on the couch, curled up next to you.
Once you can tell that she’s at ease, you can definitely kick things up a notch, knowing she feels safe and secure with you.
2) She Touches You
A woman isn’t going to touch you, not even on the arm or leg, if she isn’t interested in you.
Women are very cautious about giving off the wrong signals and because of this, it generally takes them longer to fully open up.
A touch also indicates that she’s okay being close to you or, better yet, that she wants to remind you of her presence.
So, don’t brush off that pat on the arm or back as a friendly gesture. It may mean a lot more than it seems.
3) She Keeps Eye Contact with You
A woman who isn’t interested in you isn’t going to be very invested in the conversation. Her eye contact will likely wander and she’ll often break eye contact first.
But, a woman who meets your gaze and who responds to (and even initiates) eye contact is definitely interested.
4) She Texts You Constantly
Don’t worry–we’re not talking about her texting you nonstop in a stalker-ish kind of way. That’s a whole different article.
If a woman is into you, she’ll text you at random times throughout the day. You might not think anything of this at first, but it’s a huge sign in your favor.
Think about it–she could easily ignore your 11 PM joke text and claim she was asleep. But, if she answers, that means you’re probably on her mind as she goes about her day, which is exactly what you want.
5) She Brushes Up Against You
This is a classic sign that a girl is into you and is testing you out to see how you respond to her body language.
It’s no secret that a lot of guys love boobs, and women, well, have them. A woman who wants to subtly get close to a guy may brush up behind him when passing by, pressing her body (and likely chest) against his.
This move is one women love because it’s easy to play off as accidental, so they don’t draw too much attention to themselves.
If a girl seems to be brushing up against you by accident, it’s pretty safe to assume she’s completely into you.
6) She Wants to Be Alone with You
Women do not want to be alone with someone they’re not comfortable with. Period. If a woman wants to be alone with you, it’s a very good sign.
According to one source,
If a woman has not resisted being alone with you on more than two separate occasions, she is comfortable with you and wants you to make a move.”
If you find her agreeing to meet you somewhere private or getting in your car with you, she almost certainly is waiting for you to make a move.
And, if she suggests going somewhere private or hanging out at her place instead of a crowded bar, then the odds are definitely in your favor.
How To Make a Move on a Girl Who's “Just A Friend”
A lot of the above advice may be great for people who just met, but what if it’s a female friend you’re hoping to make a move on?
Turning a friendship into something more is a delicate task, but it can definitely be done.
If you’re curious how to make the first move on a girl who happens to be a friend, turn to these 5 tips.
1) Make Strategic Jokes
Bringing up the subject of having a crush on a woman you’re friends with can be awkward and hard to navigate. How to make the first move can be even trickier.
To figure out how she feels, one trusted website recommends joking about the idea of getting together.
Saying something subtle and harmless like, “How crazy would it be if we got together?” is a good way to bring up the subject without revealing anything at all.
Once you throw out a few joking lines, pay attention to not only how your friend responds, but also see if she doesn’t throw out her own “what if” questions.
2) Touch Her (More)
If you’ve been wondering how making the first move looks when it comes to friendships, touching can do a lot to help.
Think about how you touch your friend normally (if at all). If you hug her, try hugging her a little bit longer, or squeezing her shoulder next time.
You can also try placing your hand on her leg (don’t leave it there for too long) or brushing her hair out of her eyes.
Keep your touching innocent. Trust me, she’ll pick up on even the smallest changes in touches and if she’s into you, you’ll start noticing her touching you differently.
3) Spend More Time With Her Alone
This is one of the easiest tips on how to make the first move with a friend.
If you generally hang out with your friend in group settings, try planning nights out (or in) alone with her instead.
The goal here is to spend as much alone time with her as possible. This will give you a better chance to talk and flirt with her one-on-one.
Spending time alone is also likely to have her thinking about the possibility of something more.
Before you “make a move” on a woman, you want to know that she wants it, right? Because if you know she wants it, you can be nearly 100% certain she won't reject you or push you away.
Here's the truth: When a woman wants you to make a move, she'll show you with her body language. The trick is knowing what to look for.
The #1 sign a woman wants you to make a move is when she gives you a special kind of “permission.” If she touches you…
Or leans toward you…
Or stays really close to you…
She's telling you that she wants you to touch her! It's that easy. All you have to do is pay attention to her body language when you're with her. (If you're already mirroring her negative body language, this should be a piece of cake.)
And once you have her “permission,” literally nothing is stopping you–she wants you. So here's what to do next:
4 Underrated Ways to Double Your Odds of Getting Laid on the First Date
There are a lot of little things you can do, that make getting sex on the first date way more likely.
1) You should wear a little bit of cologne.
The key is to be “lightly fragranced.” Never overdo something you're not an expert at.
2) Your breath should smell good.
Brush your teeth and floss–if you have the kind of teeth that attract small bits of food.
Food will rot and stink in a person's mouth. This is especially true of meat.
Just half an hour after eating meat, it will be noticeable to anyone more than an arm's length away from you.
(And if you've followed my tips so far, the woman you're on a date with should hopefully be closer than that by now.)
3) Have smooth skin where it counts.
If you've taken my advice and used a tiny bit of oil after you shower, then your skin will be smooth and possibly lightly fragranced.
Rough hands are totally OK for a guy, but you want to keep your hands from looking too dry or ashy.
Find sources of moisture that work for you.
Some people can just use hand sanitizer or wash their hands and it's fine.
Others become uncomfortably dry and ashy mere hours after wetting their hands. It's different for every person.
4) Escalate with touch.
Try to always take baby steps of escalation with your touch.
If you are touching her and she's laughing and touching you back… then try getting your hands on her waist (for example).
Don't skip around, but stay there for a little bit. She'll notice, and it should feel pretty nice for you too.
I'll show you the 5th way to more than double your odds of getting laid on the first date in a bit, but first let's talk a little more about touching.
If You Think She’s Interested (But You Aren’t Sure)…
Then here’s a way to find out for certain if she’s into you:
These are subtle things a woman will do when you’re talking to her…
…or when you’re watching a movie…
… or even when you’re surrounded by other people in a public place, like a park or cafe…
… and even if she treats you like “just a friend” otherwise… if you see one or two of these “sex signals,” then you’ll know:
Deep down, she’s dying to sleep with you.
(She’s probably just too scared to tell you, or make the first move on her own. This is simply how it is with most women.)
Which means that when you do make the first move, she’ll kiss you back…
Pull you in closer…
And after a few moments, she’ll probably whisper, “Wanna come back to my place?”
Hell yeah–here are all 7 “Sex Signals” to look for so you can get laid as soon as tonight:
P.S. Guys have paid upwards of $200 for these “Sex Signals” I'm about to show you… but for a limited time, I'm offering them to Gotham Club readers for a lot less. Click here to watch a short, free video to see how you can get your hands on 7 “Sex Signals” ASAP.
[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on July 21, 2020.]