How to Start a Conversation With a Woman That Won’t Fizzle Out… Simply Use This “Cheat Sheet”
There are two main things that shut down any conversation.
I’ve talked a lot about one of them, but not so much about the other…
Can you guess what they are?
Negativity and specificity.
As a man, the main problem you have to worry about is avoiding your own specificity…
And that’s because specificity is a masculine behavior!
I'm going to explain what this means for you and exactly how to keep your conversations with women from fizzling out in just a second…
But first, let's address the root of the problem: Sex.
Masculine Behavior Vs. Feminine Behavior
When I say the root of the problem is “sex,” what I really mean is that these conversational pitfalls are split up by gender.
Men and women are inherently different.
Now, writing that doesn’t make me sexist — I’m simply acknowledging the truth.
The gender-based differences in these two conversational pitfalls — negativity and specificity — are exactly that: Gender-based. They are not gender-biased.
There is behavior that is masculine and behavior that is feminine, but one is not better than the other.
Here’s an Example:
As a man, one of your key masculine strengths is focus.
It's a “masculine” strength because it's a quality that can literally make women attracted to you…
But it will only make a woman more attractive if she's already attractive to begin with.
Confidence is another masculine strength. If you embody confidence, you will draw women to you naturally…
But a confident woman is only going to be made hotter by her confidence if she's already hot to begin with.
Think about the masculine stereotype — men who can “take it like a man” and practice bravado are generally seen as more attractive because of their confidence…
But on the flip side, men who aren't as confident are often considered weak and insecure…
Two qualities women find repulsive in the opposite sex.
So lean into your masculine strengths and away from your masculine weaknesses, and you'll become naturally more attractive to women.
“What do you mean by ‘Specificity’?”
By specificity, I mean being very specific in your topic choice in conversation.
Specificity is one of your masculine weaknesses — it's something that can instantly kill a conversation with any woman.
“But what's wrong with being specific? That sounds like a good thing!”
When you’re specific with a woman, you’ll form an image in her mind…
Encourage her to elaborate…
And influence her to actively participate.
Yes, being specific can be a great thing — and in fact, it flows from your masculine strength of focus.
The problem with you being too specific is not a question of what you say or even how you say it…
It’s an issue of your relationship with this woman.
You can implement specificity in your conversations — but only after you build rapport with a woman.
Basically, it’s almost always best to talk about broad, general subjects when you’re approaching new women.
When you’re specific in your conversation, you might feel more comfortable…
But you’re drastically increasing your chances of losing her interest.
What’s more important: Keeping her interested or staying in your comfort zone?
If you continue to fight your discomfort, you’re killing your chances of success.
So by being too specific in your conversations with women, you’re sabotaging yourself from the get-go.
When you explain a subject to a woman in so much detail it comes off like you think you're better than her, that's a type of conversational specificity.
It's what happens when you begin talking about something too specific and feel the need to qualify your reasons for discussing the subject.
Here's what you need to know: Women hate this.
You can avoid this specificity, but first let's get past the feminine conversational pitfall — negativity.
What Improv Comedy Has to Do With Your Ability to Approach Women…
When you go to approach a woman, your mind might naturally go to the possibility that she’ll reject you — this is your brain’s way of simulating failure to make that reality less painful.
And while you practice “failure simulation” to prepare yourself for your interactions with women…
For women, failure simulation is a part of everyday life.
Women have an instinctive tendency to seek safety and avoid danger. To avoid as many risks as possible, they obsess over what can go wrong…
What already went wrong…
Or what’s wrong around them.
For this reason, women tend to complain more than men — especially in their conversations.
That's Not All…
If you’ve ever taken an improv comedy class, then you know the first rule of improv is to never say no.
A quick refresher: Improv comedy is the art of going through a comedic skit with absolutely no preparation. You’re given a topic or a situation, and you have to work with another person to flesh out the scene.
The first rule of improv is to never say no because the word “No” tends to stop a conversation dead in its tracks.
This is why a woman’s negativity becomes your problem when you’re trying to have a conversation with her.
Here’s an example of a conversation you want to avoid:
You: “There’s a marathon today — we should be able to see the runners from this cafe!”
Her: “Oh yeah, I wouldn’t have gone out if I had remembered. I can’t stand how they snarl up traffic and fill the city with tourists!”
What can you say in response that won’t provoke her negativity further or begin an argument with her?
The answer is basically nothing.
This means that, on the one hand, you need to be careful about being negative in your interactions with women — it’s feminine and will bring out her own negative tendencies.
On the other hand, you can't fight her negativity with a new, super specific topic of conversation.
So what can you do?
How to Avoid Specificity and Keep Your Conversation Flowing With ANY Woman
Men tend to have a stronger attachment to what they do than to who they are — in fact, many men base their idea of who they are on what they do in their free time.
Because of this, when women ask you about yourself, your instinct is to dive right into your specific hobbies.
Throw a nice helping of approach anxiety on top of that, and you’re even more likely to fall into the trap of specificity.
But there is a way to avoid it.
And it doesn’t involve you approaching hundreds of women to improve your social skills…
The “Conversation Cheat Sheet” That Will Guarantee You Never Run Out of Things to Say to Her
Just make a list!
Sit down and make a list based on three simple questions:
1) What do you love to talk about?
These are your true passions. Whether you’re the speaker or the listener, you’re going to enjoy a conversation about these topics no matter what.
2) What are you good at talking about?
These topics are ones that you know get people excited, no matter the situation. Her eyes will widen, and she’ll look at you with new respect.
Make her say, “Wow! That’s a great point!”
“I never thought of it that way!”
3) What do you know a lot about?
If you know a lot about a subject, then you’ll be able to talk someone’s ear off without getting tongue-tied or running out of things to say.
It’s true that there will probably be some crossover in topics when you ask yourself these questions — for example, if your passion is tech gadgets (question number one), then you probably also know a lot about them (question number three).
Focus on your passions first and foremost, and then move onto the other questions.
Try and make a list of at least 15 topics. The reason you want so many is because your next step is going to be to shorten your list.
Look at your list, and select five to seven of your favorite topics. Memorize them — this is your “conversation cheat sheet.”
If your memory is less than great, you can even keep your cheat sheet written down on a piece of paper in your pocket. Just don’t let her see it!
Remember, the more specific the topics on your list are, the smaller your potential audience.
That doesn’t mean you can’t talk about those topics with women you meet…
It only means that when you first approach a woman — and before you know what’s going to make her wheels start spinning and her juices start flowing — it’s best to start with the general and move gradually toward the specific.
For example, if you’re interested in building shelves out of a specific kind of wood, begin by talking to her about general craftsmanship.
If she looks and acts interested, then you can gradually explain your interest in the subject on a deeper level…
But what should you do if she doesn’t look interested?
What to Do if She Starts Looking Bored…
Remember that a conversation is a two-way street, and remember why you’re trying to have that conversation: Because you want to keep her interested and eventually ask her out.
If she’s not interested in what you’re saying, there’s a chance she might say, “I’ll be honest. I don’t know anything about general craftsmanship or woodworking.”
But what’s more likely to happen is that she’ll passively display her boredom.
She’ll get really quiet…
And nod a lot…
Her eyes will wander…
And she’ll ultimately shut you down.
She’ll never be interested in you if you can’t find some common ground — that’s why your best chance of achieving this is to be as general as possible in your opening chat.
So if you start talking about woodworking and you lose her, just open up with another topic from your cheat sheet!
This cheat sheet is designed to make your interactions with women go as smoothly as possible and minimize rejection.
Now let's take things to the next level:
The Secret “Confidence Enhancer” That Will Turbocharge Your Conversation and Get Her In the Mood…
With your cheat sheet, you should be able to easily hold a conversation with whatever woman you're interested in.
Like I'm talking within minutes of meeting her!
And the best thing is… you don't even have to SAY anything to make her panties wet!
Once you combine this secret with the cheat sheet above, your conversations with women will naturally and effortlessly flow toward sex…
…and she'll absolutely love when you use them both!
This is easily a 10x-multiplier effect when you use them together, and you'll start to notice what used to be ordinary, everyday conversations with women you're interested in…
…instead get really hot, really quickly.