Talking to women in everyday situations is one of the easiest ways to get laid–and with the 9 conversation tips below you’ll almost never run out of things to say…
How To Start a Conversation With a Girl You Like & Keep Her Interested In You (Even If You Get Nervous or Your Mind Goes Blank)…
Today I’m going to show you 9 easy and proven ways to meet more women simply by living the life you already live, and going to the places you already go.
I remember the days when I’d feel “desperate” to meet women.
I’d head out to a bar or the gym to try… and I’d try everything:
Why? Because women can “smell” desperation like that. And as you may have guessed, it’s not the most attractive scent us guys can wear.
But today, I want to talk about something else — I want to show you how to get to know a woman with no subtext, pretense, or expectations in your everyday life.
Why would you want to do that?
Well, studies show about half of couples meet either through mutual friends, or in bars and restaurants–AKA in person.
Especially if you’ve struggled to meet women online or using apps, then meeting a woman in person may be easier (despite how backwards that may sound to you right now).
Because the truth is, the best way to pick up a woman is by not picking her up at all.
What Happens When You “Try Too Hard” With a New Woman?
That may sound circular, but it’s the truth. Here’s what happens:
When you try too hard to pick up a lady, it’s obvious — even to someone who’s not particularly clever or smart.
What’s worse, when a woman picks up on the fact that you’re trying to pick her up, it can very easily make her uncomfortable or defensive.
On the other hand, when you find yourself in a social setting with a woman and you engage her for no reason other than simply being social, the possibilities are endless.
Yes, sex is always one of the potential outcomes — I’m not saying it shouldn’t be on your mind.
However, it can’t be your goal.
So what do you do?
I’ve got 9 different ways to start a conversation with a woman without coming off as “desperate,” and they’re all based on proof and my own experience.
I’ll begin with the most basic strategies and together, we’ll work our way up to the most advanced ones.
Strategies 1-3: Preparation-Based
The first few strategies begin with preparing yourself to go out and approach a woman.
Because for many men, the key to having a successful night out is to be in the right mindset.
If you go out thinking that you need to “get lucky” or that meeting a new woman is a long-shot…
That’s because that’s called a “scarcity mindset.” You think attractive women coming into your life are a “scarce” resource…
And that the attractive women who actually like you are even rarer…
But nothing could be further from the truth!
In fact… because really hot girls almost never get approached by guys (I’m not kidding, Google it)… there are a lot of beautiful women out there who are sexually frustrated, and may be more interested in talking to you (or possibly more) than you realize.
There’s a difference between going out and getting nice new clothes that you really like for yourself…
And getting new clothes because you think they’ll impress the ladies.
It’s a subtle distinction… but one that’s worth mentioning.
This is a crucial step because if you “fake it” and meet a woman who likes you back, she’s going to feel lied to when she discovers you were putting on some sort of act.
But if you’re the BEST version of yourself… and you feel like it… women will notice it as well.
2) Know What You’re Going to Say
Another easy way to start a conversation with a new woman is to go into it knowing what you’re going to say.
This takes a lot of the pressure and nervousness off of you.
“Knowing what you’re going to say” means different things to different guys.
Some guys like to keep a list of conversation starters and stay up to date with it.
If you do this, you don’t have to carry it around with you, but you should update it often.
Make sure the topics on your list are of general interest and are things you are genuinely interested in.
In public, you can’t be sure what a woman is doing — if she’s busy, upset, or is actually looking to meet a guy like you.
So it’s important to watch out for a few key behaviors she doesn’t want to be approached.
Here are a few tips:
If she seems to be talking intently with another person, don’t interrupt…
Public transportation is not always a great place to start a conversation, approach with caution…
Do not ask a woman to remove her headphones. On the train, at the gym, on the street, wherever. If she wants to talk to you, she’ll take them out of her own accord…
If a lady doesn’t want to talk, simply smile, apologize for interrupting, and wish her good day/evening/weekend, whatever. Forcing a conversation on an unwilling partner is a waste of your time and won’t end well…
It’s important to learn to read the settings and the signs.
My Mentor’s “Bulletproof Opener” That Works On Almost Any Woman
Ok so now it’s time for the “Bulletproof Opener” that I mentioned before.
This is from my mentor, Craig Miller, and I have to admit… it’s freakin’ golden.
Ok you ready? Here it is:
Next time you approach a woman… just walk up to her and say:
“Hey, I like your style.”
This works for a lot of different reasons.
First, it’s a compliment, but not one that makes you seem weak.
She’s instantly put in the position of being the one who sought your approval without knowing it, in a weird way.
Second, it’s about something in her control–what she’s wearing–and not something like her face (which she has little control over) or her eyes (which is corny as hell).
Third, it gives you a natural opener to comment on her outfit or shoes without coming across as too fru-fru.
Every woman and every situation are going to be different, so you have to get out there and get some experience.
It sounds hard, but I promise it gets easier with practice. 🙂
Which brings me to my next strategy…
7) Don’t Make Assumptions
Getting comfortable with and good at speaking with women is all about on-the-job-training: The more you do it, the better you’ll get.
While every conversation you have with a woman has the potential to lead to something more, you have to assume the opposite.
Start a conversation simply for the sake of having a conversation. It’s a reward unto itself.
This might seem obvious, but ask her questions about herself!
And don’t just ask — listen to her answers, too.
From there, you can ask her follow-up questions. And look, you’re having an effortless conversation. 🙂
But what about going from an effortless conversation… to going back to your place?
Is there an easy way to make that happen?
In my experience, yes… and here’s how I discovered it:
Once the conversation is flowing, taking things to the “next level” with her is as easier than you may realize (keep scrolling to see how)…
9) Turn Things Sexual (& Get Her to Come Home With You)…
The other day, I was thinking:
“Why do some girls come home with me the first night I meet them, and others don’t…?
What’s the difference between ‘Let’s share a cab’ and ‘I have a morning meeting…maybe next time?'”
I thought about the past dozen or so one times a girl’s come home with me… and that’s when it hit me:
When I’m sitting next to a woman… and we’ve been talking for a few (like 5-15) minutes… there’s always a certain point when I have to decide:
“Am I gonna put my hand on her leg… or not?”
And you know what, when I do decide to go for it… and touch her like this… that’s what makes the difference.
Almost every single time, a few minutes after I use this touch technique… she’ll agree to come home with me… and sometimes, she’ll even suggest we go back to her place. 🙂
And if I don’t use it? It’s “nice meeting you”… and then *radio silence.*
So if you’ve ever wondered why some girls will go home with you the same night you meet them… and others won’t give you the time of day… this touch technique might be the answer.
It certainly made the difference for me… you can check it out here:
How To Talk To Women: 5 Expert Hacks for Maximum Sexual Success (Perfect for Shy Guys!)
Many women actually prefer shy guys to more extroverted men–discover how to play up your shy side to get hot girls interested in you below…
1) Plow The Field
The first tip is to “plow the field,” rather than dig yourself into a conversational hole.
This is a problem guys run into when they find a topic that the girl seems interested in… but then they stick on it for too long.
What happens is that a guy finds a topic this girl likes, and then hammers it home until he’s reached a conversational dead end, and she’s bored of him.
Look for non-verbal cues. If, for example, I’m talking about chocolate labs and I see her open her mouth and smile–she’s told me that this topic interests her in a very big way.
She might respond, “You have a chocolate lab? So do I! OMG, he’s the best thing in my life!”
Now, instead of digging a hole, you plow the field:
“Wow!” You respond, “You must have a big apartment!”
She might even try to go back to the subject of chocolate labs, but now you have a card in your pocket (chocolate labs), and you have to look for more.
As you search, you are looking for the topics that not only light her up, but also turn her on…
Make her laugh uncontrollably…
Inspire her…
And overwhelm her with emotions.
That’s the key–you want to make her feel things.
Which brings me to my next key piece of advice:
3) Display a Variety of Emotional Responses
On top of trying to make her feel good during this conversation, you also want to show her that you can feel things as well.
While holding your emotions inside is very traditionally masculine and can be attractive to women…
Expressing a variety of emotions is usually downright irresistible to the feminine personality.
Additionally, much later, when you decide to hold back your responses and emotional information she may probe you for, the fact that you’ve already shown her a variety of emotions shows that you are capable of emoting and are in control.
As a result, she is driven to release your control and break through your “burly shell.”
So as you talk, you also want to look for ways to share many emotions:
Joy…
Empathy…
Passion…
And so on.
By expressing emotions, you increase your intrigue and project your depth. You show her that you can move her and that–if she is on top of her game–she may be able to move you too.
4) Use Pacing (If You Run Out of Things To Say)
Now let’s talk about trouble shooting–what if things go badly and you don’t know what to do?
If that happens, you can try a little technique I like to call “pacing.”
Pacing gives you something present and positive to say when the words just don’t seem to be forming in your head.
And in fact, it’s really quite simple.
Just describe what’s actually happening, and that’ll give you a “yes” ladder that takes control of the scene.
And when it’s followed by bringing your own goals into the conversation, you’re leading somewhere that she wants to go.
“You’re sitting there, looking at me, and we have this tray of fries in front of us. Somehow, it already feels like we’re getting along well!”
It works to get her in a good mood, and it shows her that you can take control of the situation.
And once you’re in a good place with her? It’s time to do this:
5) The Shy Guy’s “Secret” to Getting Sexual During A Conversation
This is a simple touching technique that I show my shy or “introverted” students… because it often seems to escalate a conversation faster than any words can.
You can use it at just about any time in a conversation… though it’s best if you’ve been talking for at least a minute or so…
Here’s what to do:
Pick out something she’s wearing, like a bracelet… a ring… or even a hair clip (accessories are usually good)… and simply reach over, and touch her like this for 3 seconds.
Obviously, it doesn’t need to be exactly 3 seconds… it should feel natural. But the trick is to make sure you do thiswhile you’re touching her.
Why?
Well, this technique apparently makes her feel a stronger emotional bond with you… and that can get her to open up to you sexually as well.
(A lot faster than, say, taking her out to an expensive dinner… or listening to her go on about her family history for 3 hours.)
It’s also a lot more subtle than just grabbing her hand… or wrapping your arm around the small of her back… so most of the time, she’ll just keep on talking like nothing is even happening…
Though a few minutes later, you may notice her blushing & twirling her hair… leaning into you a lot more… and she’ll likely suggest you go somewhere more “private” for a “drink.”
(That’s how it goes for 85% of my students, anyway.)
This guide will show you how to do it, step-by-step:
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