How to Spice Up Your Sex Life in 10 Easy Steps (Whether You’re Single Or Not)

how to spice up your sex life

How to Get Things Hot & Heavy if They’ve Been Cooling Off–Will You Show Her the Sexy Surprise She Craves?

Sex is a pretty important aspect of any relationship — whether you’re single, dating, or have been married for years.

It keeps you feeling desirable…

Confident…

And excited (as well as a whole range of other benefits).

It’s probably no surprise, then, that couples with healthy sex lives are often closer and happier than those without active or enjoyable sex lives.

The problem is, as time goes by, many couples tend to fall into sexual routines. And as a result, they lose some of that sexy spontaneity they had in the beginning of their relationship.

We’ve all been there. Life gets in the way.

There’s always work to do, errands to run, and chores to finish.

And after a while, finding time for sex can seem difficult — and if finding time isn’t hard, then when you’re in the mood, she’s not.

The good news is, sex doesn’t have to get boring just because you’ve been together for a while.

There are lots of ways to keep things interesting in the bedroom, even if you’re not super adventurous.

What Does it Mean to “Spice Things Up”?

Mixing things up in the bedroom can be helpful for both you and the woman you’re with.

And one of the easiest ways to do that?

Try something new that neither of you has done before — AKA, experiment with sex.

Here are a few reasons why it’s a good idea:

1) Experimental Sex = Better Orgasms for Her

According to Women’s Day, spicing things up in the bedroom can lead to a better chance of orgasm for a woman.

Think about it:

Doing the same monotonous thing — like jumping right into sex in the missionary position — can make it difficult for a woman to finish.

However, switching up the routine not only adds to the excitement of sex…

But it also increases her chances of reaching orgasm.

2) Women Think About Sex A Lot

It may be true that men think about sex more than women (though it probably varies from couple to couple)…

But on average, women think about sex at least 10 times a day, according to one study.

So if you know it’s on her mind, that should give you the confidence to initiate sex more often.

(Pro tip: Wanna know what kind of sex she’s thinking about? It might be a dirty sexual fantasy, like this common one almost all women want to act out.)

3) Toys Aren’t Just For Kids

If you’ve ever considered adding sex toys to the mix, but think your girl might not be into it… you may want to think again.

According to the same study I mentioned above, 72% of women are willing to add sex toys, like a vibrator, into their bedrooms.

So chances are, there’s some sex toy she’d be into trying out.

All you have to do is ask. 🙂

4) Open-Minded Sex Isn’t “Taboo” Anymore

Society has placed a real stigma surrounding some sexual positions, lifestyles, and preferences…

Or has it?

These days, more and more women are into trying new things, so there really isn’t much of a stigma surrounding sexual experimentation anymore.

To put things in perspective, a 2010 survey found that nearly half of women between the ages of 25 and 29 had tried anal sex before — and that was seven years ago.

If you’re tired of the same old routine, don’t be afraid to switch it up. If nothing else, it can’t hurt to have a conversation about it.

How Do I Approach the Topic of Experimenting in Bed?

Depending on whether you’re single or married, your approach to experimenting with sex is going to vary a bit.

The most important tip to keep in mind is to make sure the woman you’re with (whether you’ve slept with her before or not) feels comfortable and safe with you.

You’ll also want to make sure she’s feeling connected to you since women tend to be open to experimentation more when they feel intimate with their partners.

Whether you’re looking for little ways to mix up your sex life or you just want some tips on how to incorporate more kink into the bedroom, this sex adventure guide will help get you up to speed on the best ways to make your sex life more playful and exciting.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life in 10 Easy Steps (Whether You're Single Or Not)

10 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life (If You’re Not Single)

After you’ve been with a woman for a long time, it’s easy to lose those initial feelings of passion, excitement, and general lust for one another.

While this happens to many couples, your relationship doesn’t have to remain this way. There are tons of ways to help reignite the spark and renew your sex life.

Keep in mind these tips can be used in stages or combined together to really help improve your sex life.

Ready?

Let’s dive in:

1) Utilize Technology

Fact: Technology makes it easy to flirt any time, and in any place.

So if you’ve fallen into some sort of boring “routine” with your girlfriend or wife, chances are she isn’t thinking about sex while she’s on her way to work.

So what?

Get sex on her mind by sending her a series of sensual texts.

While most men are, by nature, extremely visual, women often want more of a story to work with when it comes to sexting.

Instead of sending her a naughty picture after you get out of the shower, tell her what you want to do to her and what to expect when she gets home.

She’ll be fired up about it all day — trust me.

2) Create Sex “Rules”

If you and the woman you’re with are both interested in reigniting your sex life, but you seem to both be too tired to try anything new… try throwing some “rules” into the mix.

For instance, make a rule that you won’t do the same position more than once or twice in a week — no exceptions.

The possibilities with “rules” like this are endless. Maybe you can only have sex in your bed once a month, and the rest of the time you have to do it somewhere else in the house, for example.

Just get creative, and see where your mind takes you. But always keep in mind that the point of these rules is to rekindle your initial passion.

However, if things are getting hot and heavy and a rule just happens to get broken, it’s best not to be that guy and point it out.

Instead, enjoy the moment and embrace it.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life in 10 Easy Steps (Whether You're Single Or Not)

3) Roleplay

Roleplay doesn’t always mean you have to dress up or act like someone different. Let me explain.

You can, for instance, pretend that you and the woman you’re with have just met — and now your goal is to sweet talk her back into bed.

You could even take her back to where you had your first date and sweep her off her feet. You’ll both be feeling more passionate in no time.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that costumes and acting like someone else are off the table, either.

Maybe she’s in charge and punishing you, or you have to be her “sex slave.” The sky is truly the limit here.

You can even combine this tip with tip #2 and make a rule to roleplay at least twice a month.

4) Ask About Her Dirty Fantasies

Even if you’ve been together for a while, you still may not know some of your wife’s naughtiest sexual fantasies.

Try asking her if there’s anything she’s ever wanted to try in bed — and from there, do your best to make her sex dreams become a reality.

Maybe she wants you to tie her up…

Spank her…

And do lots of dirty, dirty things to her.

(A lot of women secretly want to be dominated in bed. Here’s why, & how to do it properly.)

Share your fantasies with each other, and watch as your sex life becomes better than you ever imagined.

5) Take Control

It’s true that one of your girl’s sexual fantasies might be to dominate you

However, if the woman you’re with isn’t super open, you could take the reigns and see how she responds.

The next time you’re having sex, try introducing a sex toy or some dirty talk to see how she responds.

Not only will you learn more about your woman’s sexual desires, but you’ll also get some insight into her willingness to explore new techniques during sex.

6) Go Public

Sometimes it isn’t the actual sexual acts that are boring, but the setting.

If you’ve been having sex in the same place for a number of years, it’s likely to feel stale — even if you try to spice things up a bit from time to time.

Instead, try taking her outdoors and getting it on in your car…

A public restroom…

Or even in the middle of the woods — wherever sounds fun (and manageable!).

Some couples also enjoy getting it on when the risk of getting caught is high and costly, so you could also pull her into the bathroom at your in-laws’ or at a friend’s party.

7) Tease Her

I can’t emphasize this tip enough — never underestimate the power of a quick sexual tease.

A lot of guys think it’s bad to be a “tease”; however, it’s also a powerful way to get a woman to focus on sex.

Try lightly kissing her neck or rubbing her body — avoid the places you know she wants to be touched most.

Why?

Later on, when you do have sex, it makes that special touch that much more exciting.

You could also take this tip a step further by offering her a sensual striptease. Use your imagination. 🙂

8) Win Her Back

Sometimes, sex gets stale when intimacy begins to fade.

Instead of focusing just on sex, try planning a romantic evening. It should be specifically tailored to make your partner happy.

Really go all out:

Buy her favorite flowers or dessert…

Cook her dinner…

And set the mood with sultry music, dim lights, and scented candles.

This reminds her why she fell in love with you in the first place, and it will help both of you reconnect with each other.

Plus, not only will this strengthen your emotional connection with each other, it’ll also really gets the sparks flying between the sheets.

9) Use Retail Therapy

No, I don’t mean take her shopping — visit an adult store together.

Look for things like:

  • Lingerie…
  • Sex toys…
  • Lube…
  • Costumes…
  • Props…

And even adult videos.

Want some extra credit? Make this kind of “retail therapy” a monthly occasion to explore new things both of you are interested in.

You could even turn it into a game by covering her eyes and having her pick something out at random to buy.

10) Reorganize Your Sex Life

Finally, the sheer routine of knowing when and how you’ll have sex can cause things to get a little mundane.

To fix this issue, plan on sneaking away to have sex on your lunch break — don’t be afraid to be spontaneous.

You can have sex in your car, somewhere new in your house, or even at your office. And at any time of the day, too.

The most important thing is that you show her that you couldn’t stop thinking about her, and that you still feel the same sexual desire for her that you did in the beginning.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life in 10 Easy Steps (Whether You're Single Or Not)

10 Ways to Experiment in Bed (If You’re Single)

Keeping your sex life interesting may seem difficult when you’re single because it can feel tough to ask a woman you don’t really know to spice it up in bed.

Luckily, there are a few easy tips that will make this task much easier on you.

The best tips for you will depend on how well you know the woman you’re dating or hooking up with, but there’s definitely some good advice here no matter where you are in your relationship.

1) Look For Her Subtle Clues

If you’re talking to a girl and she seems shy, she’s probably not going to open up about sexual experimentation right away.

Instead, try broaching the subject of sex in a more light-hearted manner, perhaps by making jokes to see how she reacts.

While you’re not going to get the full picture of how open she is in bed until you two sleep together, you can learn a lot beforehand.

(Like did you know that a woman’s hands can reveal right away if she’s interested in you? Here’s what to look for.)

And if you think you’re with a girl who isn’t open for experimenting between the sheets, let her go early on to save both of you time and energy.

2) Switch it Up

Generally, the first time you hook up with a new woman, you’ll both end up heading for one of your bedrooms.

To keep things super intense from the get-go, switch up the location of where you get busy.

For example, instead of her bed, opt for the shower…

Stairs…

Kitchen table…

Or the floor.

Keeping the sex new and interesting from the first time you do it can really open a woman up to the idea of further experimentation.

Why?

She’s always going to be wondering what you’ll want to do next in bed, and that will help her open up her own imagination as well.

3) Leave Her Wanting More

You might be tempted to sleep with a new girl as much as possible in the beginning, but try teasing her instead to really get her hot for you.

How?

An easy way to try this out is to go down on her and refuse to do anything else.

Yes, it leaves you wanting more…

But it will show her that you’re really into pleasing her and will have her thinking about you nonstop.

4) Phone Flirt

Let a new woman you’re seeing know she’s on your mind by sending her flirty or suggestive texts — particularly when she’s working or is out with friends.

For an added “riskiness,” you can really turn her on by calling her at work and letting her know exactly what you want to do to her the next time you see her.

She’ll be driven even crazier by not being able to respond in an office full of people.

Don’t underestimate the power of dirty pictures, either. Make a game out of sexting by having her show you what she’s going to do to you later.

Hey, take it from me — there’s nothing more exciting and exhilarating than taking scandalous pictures in your work bathroom. 😉

5) Make A Sexy Bet

If you and a girl you’re seeing are really into sports, make wagers with sexual rewards.

For example, if her team wins, she can do whatever she wants to you in bed (and vice versa).

This an incredible way to bond with a new woman over a shared passion, like sports, while spicing things up in bed.

You could also bet on movie or TV show endings if you aren’t into sports.

In the end, it’s a win-win.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life in 10 Easy Steps (Whether You're Single Or Not)

6) Watch Dirty Movies

I’m not saying you should watch porn to try to recreate it…

But watching a dirty movie with a new woman can really help to get you in the mood.

What’s better, it can also open her up to the idea of trying new things and experimenting in ways she may not have previously imagined.

(Not sure which dirty movie to watch? This one is one of my personal favorites.)

7) Show Her She Turns You On

In any new relationship — whether casual or serious — there are bound to be insecurities.

To make sure she doesn’t feel insecure or self-conscious about her body, let her know how attractive you find her and how much she turns you on.

Pro tip: Be as specific as possible.

Why?

If you throw her a “cookie cutter” compliment, like “You’re so hot right now…” She’s probably going to assume you’re just saying it to make her feel better.

If, on the other hand, you say “I love the way you move when you’re on top of me… you look so hot when you roll your hips like that…” My guess is she’s going to give you a much better response.

Make sure she feels respected and desired, and she’ll be more than happy to keep turning you on.

8) Be Honest

At the end of the day, if you want to get the sexual pleasure you deserve, then you have to be upfront and honest with her about the type of sexual relationship you want.

Don’t lie to her when she does something you don’t like — and make sure she’s being honest with you as well.

If you want to experiment, but you aren’t sure if she does, simply tell her how you feel.

Like I said before, the odds are in your favor that she’s going to be open to at least try it.

And once she opens up to you about her sexual desires, you can start opening up to her without her feeling pressured or threatened.

An open line of communication is always the best way to keep each other engaged and happy.

9) Blow Her Mind

Statistically speaking, most women simply don’t orgasm from sex alone.

So in order to get her to the finish line, you may need to use your fingers, tongue, or toys.

Find a few different ways to please her, so that she knows that her orgasm is important to you. This will definitely help her open up and enjoy every minute she spends in the bedroom with you.

And if you’re really looking for sex that’s less than ordinary, aspects of kink or BDSM might be what you’re seeking.

If you’re serious about pursuing a BDSM relationship or simply meeting with people who have been living the lifestyle for a number of years, seek out local kink groups near you to get to learn some more.

But if you don’t have the time to check out a group, or you just want a quick way to take her over the edge… then this next tip should help you a lot. 😉

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life in 10 Easy Steps (Whether You're Single Or Not)

10) The Ultimate Way to Spice Up Your Sex Life

I have a confession to make:

A few months back, my sex life was a bit “blah.”

I’d text the guy I was seeing to come over… and it was 5 minutes of foreplay, a couple minutes of missionary… aaaaand done. Every. Single Time.

At one point it got so bad that I’d fantasize about other men while I was with him… well, mostly one other man: my ex, Marco.

Marco was in his 40s… pretty average-looking… but he used this technique during sex that just… well, it’s kind of hard to put into words… but it felt soooo good that I haven’t been able to forget about it since we broke up (almost 3 years ago).

Obviously, I couldn’t just tell my new guy how to do it… “Hey, my ex did something amazing to me during sex, you should try it!” (That wouldn’t go over well)…

So instead, I got on Google to see if I could find something about it online.

It was mostly trash… lots of unrealistic porn videos… clinical “sex ed” talks… and mainstream “guy sites” without any real techniques…

Until finally, I found this pornstar’s personal blog… and she made a video of the technique! It’s not technically porn… but she explains exactly what the technique is and how to do it. Jackpot.

So one night in bed, I “accidentally” pulled the video up on my guy’s computer… and while he watched it, I slowly kissed down his neck… his chest… down to his… you know ;-)…

And when he tried out the technique on me…omg… I don’t think I’ve ever screamed that loud during sex before. Seriously, we were up until like 4 am, and my voice was so sore the next day (that’s not the only thing that was sore, lol).

Since that night, I crave sex with him like 3x a day (that never used to happen to me)… and all my girlfriends tell me they wish their man could satisfy them like mine can. 🙂

You know, my new guy isn’t really “big” down there… and neither was my ex. Which makes me think this is something that any guy can use to give a girl this kind of addictive & intense sexual desire.

Here’s the video that shows you how to do it–try this out on the next woman you take home…I dare you ;-):

Discover the “Sexual Technique” That Drives Her Wild & Keeps Her Coming Back for More…

By the way if you wanted to learn how to text women read this new article on texting.

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