Body language may be the most important way we communicate – at least when it comes to dating and sex.
The trouble is, most men aren’t sure exactly how to read a woman’s body language or how to project the right message using their own body language.
This cohesive guide will help you learn everything you’ve ever questioned about body language, making you the master of every woman you desire.
When it comes to communication, body language is king.
In fact, over half of what you communicate to other women is not in what you say…but what you do.
And likewise, most of what women communicate to you is through their actions.
But a recent study revealed that most men chronically underestimate how often women want sex — and a lot of this has to do with your ability to read body language.
Most women won’t just come out and say, “I want you to take me home right now!”
But what they will do is effectively “say” it with their bodies. You just have to know what to look for.
And yes, this can certainly get confusing.
For example, research has shown that people may engage in more eye contact when lying than when telling the truth to counteract the stereotype that liars avoid eye contact–so reading body language is not always as simple as “looking for signs.”
Don’t be the guy who thinks, “She just wants to be friends…”
The “Lost in Translation” Phenomenon Stopping You From Solving a Woman’s Mystery
The first step in recognizing the signs a woman wants you is to acknowledge what body language is: A language.
And just like any other language, it’s not something you innately know — you have to learn it.
But learning to recognize a woman’s body language isn’t quite as easy as sitting down at your computer to bone up on your Spanish.
Body language is sexist, and you’re at a disadvantage.
Why Is This So?
Studies have shown repeatedly that women are much better at interpreting nonverbal cues than men.
One particularly interesting study looked at a group of about 300 undergraduate men and women and asked them to identify pictures of women’s body language as friendly, sad, rejecting, or sexually interested.
Before I share the results, take a minute to come to a conclusion on your own.
It’s easy to assume that the men in this group would be more likely to misinterpret all of the cues as sexually interested…
There are a few ways you can tell a woman is flirting with you without having to awkwardly ask her or blindly wait for her to make the move.
But for the purposes of this article, let's define the term flirting as follows:
According to Steven W. Gangestad, Ph.D., an evolutionary psychologist:
Flirting is a negotiation process that takes place after there has been some initial attraction.”
So next time you’re about to “go for it,” look for these three signs first:
1) She mirrors your actions.
Research consistently shows that men tend to overestimate how interested women are, so it's more important than ever to know how to read body language.
Inside your brain are what’s called “mirror neurons.” These neurons help you realize and express empathy (it’s why you cringe when you see someone slam their hand in a door or physically feel pain when you see a friend get kicked in the groin).
These neurons also fire when a woman is flirting with you.
To see if she’s really interested, try switching up your body language and see if she does the same.
Tilt your head to the right…
If she tilts with you, there’s a good chance she’s into you!
A woman who mirrors your body language is connecting with you on a subconscious level, and this is a huge sign that she wants to connect with you on a physical level as well.
2) Her feet are pointed toward yours.
Next time you’re standing somewhere and see a woman you like across the room, take a second and glance down at your feet.
You might notice that they’re pointed toward that woman — that’s not an accident.
Think about how you use your feet. Generally speaking, without thinking, your feet are pointed in the direction you’re walking or are about to go.
When a woman points her feet toward yours, it means she wants to walk toward you!
Even if you spy a woman from across the room stuck in a conversation, if her feet have been pointing toward you all night…
There’s a good chance she wants you to approach her.
3) She’s leaning in and staying focused on you.
Here are two dates to choose from:
Date A: You’re seated across from a woman at a restaurant. She’s looking down at the menu and is leaning back. Her eyes dart from table to table, and you can’t really get a read on her.
Date B: You’re seated across from a woman at a restaurant. She’s got her elbows on the table and is leaning across to talk to you. She barely stops talking to you to look down at the menu, and even then she’s leaning forward and isn’t looking away from the table.
Which woman do you want to be out with?
A woman who’s interested in you — AKA the woman on Date B — will naturally want to come closer to you. At a restaurant, this might mean leaning across the booth and maintaining eye contact.
At a bar, this could mean “accidentally” grazing your arm with her arm or touching your leg with hers.
The bottom line?
Women Want Sex More Than You Think
Another study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology last month revealed that women want sex much more often than most men think.
“Why does it matter that women want sex more often if I’m not even sure how to tell if she wants me in the first place?”
By understanding that you might naturally underestimate a woman’s sex drive, you give yourself room to correct for it — not to mention that when you do recognize she wants you, you’ll know what to look for so you can have sex more often.
In short, you need to learn to recognize the important sexual body language of women and specifically learn how to read women’s body language.
Another study by German researcher Susanne Roder found that watching for appearance-related and behavior-related cues in women can help men get more one-night stands, as these signal how attractive a woman is feeling.
The first study I mentioned above examined couples who have been in long-term (three or more years) relationships, and what they found might surprise you.
According to the results, men chronically underestimate how often women want sex, and women aren’t very good at directly communicating their sexual desire to men.
The study revealed that when women do want sex, they communicate it in indirect ways, most commonly through women’s sexual body language..
For example, a woman might make what sounds like a “joke” about a sex scene in a movie the two of you are watching…
But in reality, that’s her way of coming on to you!
So not only is it especially tough to interpret women’s sexual body language, but you might also be underestimating how often she wants to have sex with you.
It Gets Worse…
You might be wondering why men and women have so many communication issues when it comes to sex.
After all, this is something both you and the woman you’re interested in are biologically hardwired to want, right?
Remember we mentioned that men in the body language study were more likely to confuse sadness with rejection?
Well, in the study of long-term couples mentioned above, men were more likely to underestimate their partner’s sex drive when they were trying to avoid rejection themselves. It’s basically a defense mechanism, but it’s one that ends up hurting you in the end, all because you misread women’s sexual body language.
So if you’ve been rejected over and over…
Or even if you’ve had just one bad experience…
It might be getting in the way of you recognizing the signs a woman wants to sleep with you!
It’s not impossible to overcome these disadvantages. In fact, we’re about to show you the exact signals to look for.
6 Signals She Needs to See Before She Sleeps With You
Here’s a secret most women don’t want you to know: Your body language is the most powerful tool you can use to influence a woman’s decision to sleep with you.
Knowing how to read body language can help turn a woman on, but understanding a few key body language basics is all you need to know.
As a woman, there are certain body language “signals” she looks for when deciding whether or not to sleep with a guy.
Collectively, there are 6 of these signals, and together they form a “checklist” — so if you can show her every signal on that “checklist”…
Your chances of getting her in bed, on top of you and begging you for more go through the roof.
As you may have guessed, that means there are 6 things that need to happen when you meet a woman if you want the night to end back at your place.
But before we show you what they are, let’s talk about what it is your body language can do for you.
But it won’t motivate every woman. And on top of that, a good body and a big bank account aren’t strong motivating factors.
The strongest motivating factor in a woman’s decision to go home with you is a combination of 2 things:
Comfort and desire.
A woman has to feel comfortable if she’s going to get naked with you…and she has to want to get naked with you in the first place.
So yes, a great body or a big bank account might make her feel desire…but not reliably so. And they definitely won’t make her feel comfortable.
That’s where your body language comes in — using these 6 signals, you’re not only showing her that she can feel comfortable and open up to you…
But you’re also ramping up her attraction.
And here’s what they are:
1) Keep your hands visible
Your hands tell women a lot about you. And if you keep them in your pockets…
Or underneath your crossed arms…
Or generally out of sight…
She’ll assume you’re hiding something or that you’re uncomfortable. And that will turn her off almost instantly.
Remember, she needs to feel comfortable if she’s going to make herself vulnerable with you, so it’s important for you to make her feel safe.
And the best way to use your hands to do that is to keep them visible at all times. When you’re talking to her, use your hands to make gestures, or put them on the table if you’re at a restaurant or a bar.
Even if you aren’t feeling open and comfortable, it’s important she sees you that way — so make sure she can see your hands.
2) Don’t fidget
If you’re a big fidgeter, we’ve got some bad news for you: Women don’t want to sleep with men who fidget.
But here’s the thing: They don’t want to sleep with men who are super stiff, either.
Men who fidget often come off as dishonest or afraid, and men who are too stiff come off as liars, so it’s important to strike a balance so she sees you as an open, honest man.
This is important for the same exact reason it’s important for you to show her your hands — she won’t be open with you unless you’re open and vulnerable with her.
So when you’re with her, focus on physically relaxing. If you notice you’re not moving, loosen up your shoulders a little bit and try and use your hands when you talk to her.
And if you’re fidgeting a lot, consciously fold your hands in front of you and focus on her.
Which brings us to the next sign she wants to see before she sleeps with you…
3) Sit up straight
While yes, women want a man who has a relaxed posture, they don’t want to go home with a sloucher.
And that’s because men who slouch come off as disinterested or aloof — like you’re not taking your time with her seriously, and you just don’t care.
On top of that, slouching can also reveal a lack of confidence. And as David has written about before, confidence is one of the most sexually attractive traits women look for in a man.
So if she’s going to go home with you, she has to know you’re interested — and one of the best ways to do that is to sit up straight and lean in closer to her.
If you’re at a bar, for example, lean toward her across the table or across the bar. And if you’re back at your place, sit up and lean slightly toward her on your couch.
This will show her you’re a) confident, and b) interested in her — a win/win if you want to take her to bed.
4) Walk with purpose
Think about the last really attractive woman you saw in public. Was she:
Walking slowly, almost like she was shuffling…
Or was she:
Looking like she had somewhere to be…
Holding her head up…
Probably the latter, right?
Women want to sleep with men who look driven — like they have a purpose in life. So when you’re walking, lift your head up and quicken your pace.
If you look like you have somewhere to be, women will take notice — in a good way.
Now, this isn’t an easy signal to “show” her if you’re on a date…
But there is one thing you can do:
If you’re taking a walk, simply stand tall and match her pace. In this case, your purpose is her — so you should walk at whatever pace she’s going to get as close as you possibly can to her.
5) Mirror her body language
This one’s a biggie. Women use your body language as clues to predict how you’ll be in bed — so if you match the sexual body language of women, they will take that as a sign you’ll be able to connect in bed.
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