How To Hit Her Cervix & Make Her Come HARD–Discover How to Become a Master of Her Pleasure Almost Instantly…
This is another episode of Ask Ruwando.
I’m Ruwan Meepagala on behalf of Gotham club.
And I’m joined by my friend Candice from Naked Yoga Therapy to answer the biggest question I get and usually annoys me:
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“Hey, everyone, how do you have better sex?”
And very often if I get this question on Instagram or email, I kind of brushed it off.
Like there’s a million things, right? I mean, where do you start?
But I decided to finally make a video to answer this. And here is sex ed one on one how to have better sex for everyone.
I’m going to try to address all of that below:
Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
Yeah, so there’s something you may have heard me say before in other videos. It’s kind of like my tagline for developing sexual intuition over time.
And that line is be connected, be selfish.
So what this means is that you connect first–you make sure that you guys are on the same page.
Because when you’re connected, you’re feeling corresponding emotions with someone. You’re really paying attention to them, you’re feeling where they’re at. However, it doesn’t mean you’re feeling exactly what they’re feeling.
But it’s as close as you can get.
And that comes from paying attention.
Once you’re in that state, where you feel like okay, we’re kind of in sync… then you can start to listen to your own impulses.
And that’s where the “be selfish” part comes in. But you can’t be selfish at your partner’s expense.
It’s like a game you play back and forth with her.
And it can also be really sexy to hear what your partner wants to do before they do it (especially from a woman’s perspective).
Of course, this isn’t always the case. And I totally understand where some women may just want to be “taken.”
But sometimes it is really nice to hear what your partner wants to do, and then have it done.
THIS Is the Key to Having Great Sex & Being a Masterful Lover Every Single Time…
Consent can be really hot, which actually brings us to our second point, learn how to communicate.
Because if you’re watching this video, I’m assuming maybe you’re pretty new to sex–and communication is key.
If you really want to learn how to be a master lover over time, you need to learn how to get feedback.
And the best way to get feedback is to have the conversation before or after, sometimes during sex.
(But as Candice said, maybe you don’t always want to have a big discussion during lovemaking, that can sometimes not be great.)
But I do always recommend if you have an ongoing partner, girlfriend, wife, f**k buddy, whatever, you might as well have a conversation at some point.
For example:
“What did you like? What do you not like is anything you desire, anything you want to try?”
Because over time, while that might not be the sexiest thing to do every time, it’s how you’re going to learn how to be with your partner, and other partners.
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One of my favorite things is the feedback sandwich.
If you’re liking something that they’re doing, but you’re also kind of not really liking something that they’re doing, I really think it’s nice to say what you’re liking.
And if you can’t find anything that you’re liking, of course, you can just say something and then offer maybe the feedback.
Like, “Hey, I’m really liking the way that you’re connecting with me with your eyes. However, if you could touch me a little bit softer, or go a little bit slower (or whatever the thing is that you desire) that would be nice… but I really do like this eye contact that we are having and sharing.”
And this moment is amazing. So they hear something sweet, they hear something a little bit sour, and you don’t want to like, you know, ruffle their ego… and then they hear something sweet again.
So people make changes whenever they do that.
How To Communicate Your Desires & Figure Out What She Wants Without Any Bruised Egos…
So sometimes you may hear just the desire and you know, you’re in a heated passionate moment, and it may come out a little blunt.
And just don’t take it personally–see it as an offering of how you can really get back on the same page. And see how you can change something to you know, give it as a gift.
Yeah, and we’re going to talk about emotional security in a bit, because that’s part of what makes you a good lover in the long term.
Being able to not have your ego get triggered every time you get a suggestion from someone or even if you get some really tactless feedback… it’s still something you can learn from.
So with that a big part of the communication on both how you speak and how you receive feedback is not being judgmental.
I see this is one of the big places where couples get tripped up is that they judge everything they hear–like they feel judgment over themselves.
And part of developing a secure sex life and really developing a secure life is learning to not be judgmental of what people want and feel and how they communicate.
Here’s A Full Breakdown Of Her Anatomy *Down There* (That Most Guys Are Completely Clueless About)
Alright, next part is the anatomy. It’s maybe why you clicked on this video because as a man, if you’re a man who sleeps with women, you got to know the woman’s body.
And we’re focusing on the vulva today–her vagina.
So I’m gonna let Candice hold the vulva since she has one. And one thing I want to say before we dig into the parts is just like what we’re saying the beginning, learning to touch these different parts.
It’s the same principles as touching a non-sexual part. We’re feeling the feedback, we’re going to connect, notice what she’s feeling and respond accordingly.
Because if you go in with an agenda, like I’m gonna make squirt, you’re going to miss out on the signals.
Alright so the anatomy, here we have the outer lips. The labia majora.
As the owner of a pair, they’re not really touched that much.
And so I think it would be a nice warm up. And you can also you know, kind of melt into the experience.
Also you’re starting, you know, the arousal response, which is what you want.
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A Lot Of Guys Neglect THIS Part That’s Chock-Full of Sexual Nerve Endings…
I think a lot of guys skip out on it. Because I know many women, it looks just like regular skin.
Some women have like more pronounced outer lips, but others don’t. And you might just think, oh, that’s regular skin.
But as Candice mentioned, it is a very erogenous zone. And it’s less threatening to start here than to go into the more sensitive areas. But it does swell up when aroused.
So let’s not skip out on it right?
And one more thing is that whenever we talk about the clitoris, the clitoris has legs.
So if you’re starting to touch the outer labia you’re starting to touch the legs of the clitoris.
And it’s a way you can sync up with her pleasure before jumping in.
You Can Even Kiss Her Lips *Down There* Like You Kiss the Lips on Her Face For Added Pleasure…
Something I like to do during oral sex is like actually kiss a woman’s lips *down there* like their facial lips.
So if you think about how you like your scrotum to be touched, even though maybe it’s not as sensitive as your penis, you can have an idea of how a woman’s labia, both inner and outer might want to be touched.
So moving on, we have the hood here, the hood covers the clitoris.
It’s kind of the same erectile tissue as if you have an uncircumcised penis.
So, you know, treat it as something that is protecting something very, very important.
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Yeah. And just like with any part of the vulva, there’s a lot of variation. So some women have bigger hoods that completely cover their clitoris even when aroused.
But depending on how you’re touching, you might want to pull the hood up to directly stimulate the clit, but as Candice mentioned, if it’s covered, it’s probably extra sensitive. So be gentle.
You can also kind of find the clit just by squeezing the head a little bit.
I think this is the big joke of how hard it is to find a clitoris sometimes.
The clit is the most sensitive spot on the body, it has the highest density of nerve endings–8000, I believe is the number that is used most often.
So here’s a place where your level of attention can bring you to like the most nuanced sensations.
The “Clock Trick” to Figure Out EXACTLY How She Wants You to Touch Her…
So always maybe ask like, hey, do you like this?
You know, some women at different times of this sexual encounter may like pressure right on, they may like stronger pressure, just like a stroking.
So you can always ask, you know, do you like this? My favorite is like the clock, or going around her clitoris like the clock. And maybe just going up to like 12 o’clock, do you like this?
Or going down to six o’clock, and then having her choose. And then from there, whatever she says, then you can find more nuanced places of like, Okay, how about like 12? One?
Yeah, with an ongoing partner.
This is an absolute, I mean, absolute recommendation to get to know her body. And also knowing that her body might change day to day, you might have loved 12 o’clock yesterday and hard pressure.
And then maybe it’s a certain time of the month when she’s more sensitive, and she still wants to be stimulated, but in a totally different way.
So as long as you don’t get stuck in an agenda, and you’re paying attention, you’ll know how to have the best chance of responding to her in the right way. Alright, so down below, if we follow down, right around here, you have the opening where sex happens known as the vaginal opening.
I mean, here’s where you actually are entering her body, whether it’s with your penis or a finger.
So it’s important to note that this is kind of a big deal. And that most men don’t get to experience that unless you get a prostate massage, what it’s like to have someone in your body.
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So a lot of times, I’ll just play in the opening, and make sure that I’m feeling her arousal response, before I ever just stick a finger in or anything.
Yeah, and sometimes just pausing, like right at the end, can feel really nice.
And it’s also nice to ask, you know, can I put whatever it is that you want to put inside before you do it.
How To Ask What She Wants The “Right” Way (& Avoid Being Needy)
And again, it’s one of those things you don’t have to ask all the time, but very few times, you’ll want to try it. Women really aren’t asked this question very often.
Yeah, and I think a lot of guys are afraid to ask because they don’t want to be seen as needy or weak. And it’s not whether you ask or not.
If you’re coming off as needy, it’s the way you’re asking.
Or you can ask in a way where you want her approval. And I think if you have experiences where you’ve asked and it’s turned out like to be a turn-off, you’re probably asking the needy way, it wasn’t whether or not you asked.
And I guess I’m still imagining this, you know, this can be asked in a really like sensitive way like may enter you or you know, the soft whisper, but it can also be like… “Can I f**k you?”
Depending on whatever the mood of the moment is, that question may be really amazing to hear in a sensitive way.
It comes down to reading the moment and feeling the moment once again.
When She’s Turned On You WILL Be Able to Feel Her G-Spot–Here’s How…
OK, let’s talk about the G-Spot.
It’s a reptilian tissue–if you put your finger in and reach forward or back towards you, you’ll feel this spongy tissue, which also is known as the G-spot.
And this puppet, you can sort of see, I don’t know if you can see that there’s a little bit of like a raised ribbon. And what I like to have people feel is the tongue in the roof of their mouth, it’s not the same, but it’s a little bit similar.
It’s kind of like groove, it’s still soft. But there’s a little bit of a change in texture with where the G-spot is or the resource sponge.
Yeah, and when she’s aroused, you’ll be able to feel it, it’s going to feel like a much different texture than the rest of her vaginal wall area.
There many ways to touch the G-spot just like there’s many ways to touch any part of woman’s body. But one stroke that is unique to the G-spot is this come hither motion that you may have seen before.
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This is something unique to this part of the body, it’s not the only way to touch the woman’s G spot.
And it’s not maybe the first thing I would do.
But it is something that’s unique. If you’re moving on to things like looking towards G-spot stimulation, specifically squirting things like that.
There’s another video on this channel on that. But this is one unique stroke.
Here’s How to Hit Her Cervix With Your Fingers For MAX Pleasure…
Okay, the final spot on the inside that I do want to cover which is great even if you’re a beginner to play with and explore is the area beneath the cervix.
So if you stick your finger in downwards, you’ll feel kind of like it hits a bone are. And a lot of women will feel like it’s like stimulating her or hypogastric nerve, which can feel kind of like anal sex.
So sometimes a woman will be like, “is your finger in my butt?” And like it’s not, you’re actually stimulating the wall right beneath the cervix. The cervix is the very end cap, if you will, of the vaginal canal.
It’s kind of like a raw carnal like almost butt f**king sensation, which not all women like.
And also kind of the cervix is sort of like the clitoris, it moves around a little bit depending on the day or the time of the month.
And so it is something that I feel like it’s actually more sensitive to pain. Whereas like the clitoris is more sensitive to pleasure.
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It Doesn’t End There…
So the vagina gets wet, it starts to expand, it enlarges it gets ready for, you know, a moment of penetration or 30 minutes or an hour or however long this session is going to be… but so the surface will get out of the way.
Yeah, the bladder will kind of move up, the uterus will move up and out of the way clearing space. But unless she’s really turned on, it may still be there. So it’s something to you know, remember, it’s actually not that she doesn’t maybe want it on a mental level.
It’s like on a physical level, there are things and processes that still may have not happened that have may have already happened very clearly in your erected penis. So it’s just a moment of kind of getting on the same page.
Yeah, just being a little patient.
At The End of the Day “Good Sex” Is a Long-Term Game…
Awesome. So here’s the thing that I really say to people, when they ask me, “How do I have better sex?” Because it’s really a long-term game.
It’s not something where you learn a couple techniques, and suddenly you’re a sex master. It’s something that you develop over time.
It’s your level of security, emotional security. Like if you’ve heard of the concept of s*it testing, the whole reason why women test men or trigger men, subconsciously or consciously is because they have to know:
“Can he handle me during an orgasm?”
She Has to Know You Can Handle Her at Her Most Vulnerable (Or Else Her Odds of Orgasming Go WAY Down)…
Yeah. Because it’s not unusual for women to have a crying release during or after sex or an anger release during sex.
Or, you know, if you’re with a woman, and she’s throwing, like all these seemingly irrational emotions at you, it might actually be a test. Like, women don’t do that with guys they would never ever be intimate with.
Usually, that might not always be true. But sometimes it might be a test, just so you know, don’t freak out.
If you get frazzled when a woman is seemingly irrational, or overly emotional, that’s actually highlighting a weakness in you and your emotional security. So great opportunity to work on that for your life.
Yeah, and I think that you don’t really have to offer that much.
But mainly, you know, you may be asking, like, well, what do I do if she gets emotional?
And really just be there, you don’t have to counsel her.
You don’t have to talk to her any different than you would but maybe even not say anything, but just be there.
Just be willing to give her like warmth and a hug and like hold her.
The #1 Quality That Can Improve Your Sex Life Right Now…
Yeah. And that ties into the next principle, I was just gonna say actually, which is your attention span.
If there is a quality that you want to cultivate in yourself, that will greatly increase your ability to be a good lover, and really just a good man in the world… it’s your attention span.
I think this is a plague in the modern day with our phones and our emails and all the things all the media bombarding us. I think, men and women today, people nowadays have the shortest attention span ever.
And if you can cultivate an attention span that’s greater and greater, it’ll not only benefit you in the bedroom, but in your relationships and in life.
I mean, you’ll just be better utilizing your brain and having a better attention span.
So I get a little annoyed when I see a guy wants to learn how to have sex but he can’t even pay attention for eight minutes or something.
It’s a lifelong journey.
But ultimately, good sex is about being in the moment with her, making sure she’s interested in what you’re doing to her… and giving her the most pleasure you possibly can.
And if you want to hit a woman’s cervix during sex (which is EXTREMELY pleasurable for a lot of women), here’s a great technique to pull that off:
How To Hit Her Cervix During Sex (Even If You’re Average Or “Below Average” Down There)…
Now if you want to hit her cervix during intercourse… that’s a lot different than hitting it with your fingers…
Most men would assume you need to be packing a 10-incher to reach that deep, but that’s not the case.
All you need are two things:
First is a rock solid erection.
And no, you DON’T need to pop a little blue pill… or take injections or anything like that to get really hard these days…
Second is using a certain position… it’s like missionary, but try it with a pillow under the woman’s butt, and one or both of her legs on your shoulder(s) to get in REALLLLL deep.
BUT (and this is one big ol’ Kim Kardashian sized but)… this position feels REALLY good for you too, and it might be a challenge to last as long as you want ideally…
Hell, I’ve embarrassed myself by being a two-stroke joke using this position a few times in the past… and I don’t have to tell you how humiliating it is to come too early.
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They’re an ancient Vietnamese recipe that’s been scientifically proven to boost blood flow everywhere throughout your body… including your penis…
This doesn’t just mean you’ll get as hard as a diamond to hit her cervix, and make her feel incredible pleasure…
But if you eat these foods often enough, they can also help you last longer…
… and may even give you more explosive and pleasurable orgasms!
