How To Get The Spark Back In A Long-Term Relationship–Will You Win Her Over?
When my ex-wife and I first got married, we f–ked like rabbits. Our sex life was amazing…for a while.
Sure, we made it past the “3 year itch” (although our sex life did dwindle a bit)…I had an affair…we got over it.
But 10 years in, we were both tired. And for a lot of long-term relationships, this is when couples decide to part ways.
So why does this happen? How can a happy, long-term relationship just fizzle out? If your sex life is down, does it really mean things are over?
Today, I’m going to give you the answers.
The “10-Year Curse”: Fact Vs. Fiction
So if the “10-year curse” a real thing? Do all couples experience this kind of falling out at this point in their relationship?
Yes, for the most part, and there are 2 main reasons why.
Psychologists say the “10-year curse” is caused by growing conflict over built-up resentments.
She does all the housework…
You don’t have sex often enough…
Neither of you earn enough money…
Yada yada yada.
Another cause? Lack of intimacy.
And, no I don’t mean sex. What I mean is that you’ve stopped exploring and delving deep into each other.
Sure, you might ask questions like “How was your day?” Or “Where should we eat?”…
But, you both probably think you know most of what there is to know about your partner, so neither of you ask (or share) as much as you once did.
So what? Does it really even matter?
Yes: This lack of intimacy in your relationship translates to less-frequent or less-good sex.
So, there it is. Unresolved conflicts and loss of intimacy make for a lackluster sex life.
The idea that these issues are too big to tackle often lead to couples throwing in the towel.
But you don’t have to.
There are things you can do to help reclaim the passion that used to be there, and make you both a lot happier in the bedroom.
The #1 Key To Making A Long-Term Relationship Work
The first thing you should focus on is communication. Look, I know I say this all the time, but seriously, communication is sexy!
If you want to change how you feel about your relationship, you’ve got to suck it up, and have a lot of honest conversations with your partner.
When I say “a lot,” I don’t mean that there’s a finite number, and you can stop talking when you hit it.
The truth is that if you’re interested in staying in your long-term-relationship, then regular communication has to become a habit.
I know, this isn’t easy, and often it can feel intimidating. But, you’ve gotta start somewhere.
I don’t know how long you’ve felt like your relationship may be off, but there’s probably a lot of ground to cover.
You can’t do it all in one day, so start small.
Start with things that may be bothering her.
You can get to your own problems later, but by asking about things that may be troubling her, you’re inviting your partner into the conversation.
It Doesn’t End There…
When you ask her what’s bothering her, make sure that she knows why you’re asking. It’s not because you want to start an argument — you just want to improve your relationship.
And when she answers, even if it stings, you cannot get defensive.
You may want to practice being calm and just listening before you start the first conversation. It sounds silly, but try “practicing” in the mirror.
It’s easy to think you can just ask her what’s wrong and she’ll air out all of her problems at once…this usually isn’t the case. The first conversation is going to be the beginning of a long string of conversations.
Remember, you’re in a long-term relationship. This is the long game, not an easy fix.
It’s also important to listen to her, and to show her that you’re listening.
When there’s a good opportunity, just ask what you can do, and listen to the response.
Keep having talks like this and acting on them.
As you start to work out some of your built-up resentments in the relationship, you’ll start to notice something else: You feel closer to her!
Yep. By communicating well, you kill two birds with one stone. *High five!*
Now you can start working on spicing up your sex life.
How to Spice Up Your Sex Life (No Matter How Long It’s Been)
Intimacy issues have a direct effect on a couple’s sex life.
Chances are, you both have some uncommunicated sexual issues and have made a lot of assumptions about your partner for a long time. Which makes for boring sex.
Boring sex isn’t necessarily bad all the time…but it’s one of the biggest problems with long-term relationships.
All of the logistics involved with spending a lot of time with one person–the routines, the daily business, kids (if you have them)–make it difficult to be passionate.
And finding the missing passion takes some work and, of course, communication.
Communication doesn’t stop with having regular conversations, either. You need to talk in bed, too.
Even if it’s just dropping subtle hints at first, you’ve got to open a line of communication. Learn to be comfortable telling her what you like or want, and help her feel the same way.
The good news is that your passion likely didn’t go away, it’s simply pent up inside.
And here’s the amazing thing that can happen when you unleash it:
That Time I Indulged My Wife’s Secret Lesbian Fantasy…
About 9 years into my marriage with my ex-wife, things started to cool down…a lot. So I followed the advice I’m giving you and made an effort to communicate more.
As a result, my wife shared one of her sexual fantasies with me: Having a beautiful blonde go down on her.
I admit, I got a little jealous when she first told me, but we were working through our own intimacy issues after I’d had an earlier affair, so I just listened.
After she shared this with me, I suggested going to a strip club together.
However, she said she didn’t want to see me being touched or talked to by dancers…but then, she suggested a peep show at our local mega-porn shop.
So, that weekend, we drove into the city from our tidy suburb, with plenty of small bills in my pocket. After a couple of drinks at a nearby bar, we headed over to (now-defunct) Sexworld.
My wife picked out a performer, and we entered her booth. It was about 3 feet deep and 4 feet wide, and had a full door. There was plexiglass between us and the nice, under-dressed blonde lady on the other side.
We greeted each other, and then my wife started giving her instructions. I fed bills into the machine.
The blonde slid off her panties and started touching herself; my dark-haired wife grabbed my hand and slid it up her skirt.
As my wife gave direction to the performer, saying she had “such a pretty pu**y,” I dropped to my knees and slid off my wife’s panties.
Then she leaned back against the wall, and I went down on my wife as she watched the blonde fingering herself.
After that night, my wife and I were much less shy with one another. And many adventures ensued.
So Can A Good Sex Life Really Save A Marriage?
If you read that carefully, you may have noticed I described her as my “ex-wife” in the beginning…so to answer that question, no, a good sex life alone won’t save your marriage.
But with communication and opennness, you can definitely get that spark back.
And once it’s back, you’ll be having sex a lot more often…and it’ll be a lot more passionate too.
So if you really want to spice up your sex life, there’s one more little “tweak”…do this, and in less than 2 weeks, you’ll be back in the saddle, having marathon sex (trust me):
The “Warrior Workout” For Longer And Stronger Erections
If you want to give a woman the sexual pleasure she craves…
It’s practically crucial that your manhood is in peak shape.
Sure, you could take a prescription for that…but you don’t have to.
Here’s something new that’s been working REALLY well for me…it’s called the “Warrior Workout”. There are 4 steps:
1) The “Warm-Up” Stretch: Grip the tip of your penis — hold it and stretch it. If you want more info on how to do it, check this out.
2) “The Slide”: Make an “OK” grip, start at your base, slide to the right spot, and repeat. (For step-by-step instructions, go here.)
3) Pelvic Floor Muscle Exercises: AKA “kegels.” Just contract and hold as long as you can. If you want to maximize your power, check out this cool little trick.
4) The “Reverse-Kegel”: Push out, relax, and repeat. You can even use these during sex — go here to see what I mean.
Now put all 4 together, and you’ll be unstoppable:
Discover the “Warrior Workout” for Longer and Stronger Erections in 2 Weeks or Less…
P.S. No Warrior Workout would be complete without THIS… 😉
