How to Get a Girl to Like You in 7 Easy Steps
A lot of guys out there probably want nothing more than to become a total “natural” with women, able to effortlessly attract any woman who catches their eye.
But you may have your eye on one specific woman who you'd like to get with more than anyone else.
Maybe it's that cute girl at work…
The incredibly toned, athletic girl from your gym with the nice smile…
Maybe she works at a bar, store, or some other place you frequent…
Or perhaps you just pass each other every day on the subway, working your way up to a smile and a nod.
Regardless of where you see her, the point is that you see her pretty regularly, and you want her.
But for whatever reason…you just can't seem to get up the courage to ask her out!
Or even worse, maybe you've made your way into the dreaded friend zone.
You just know the two of you would be happy together…
If only she knew you existed…
…or she didn't have a boyfriend…
…or any number of the other countless reasons you've created in your own mind that are truly limiting you from being happy.
In other words, you need to know how to get a girl to like you.
More specifically, how to get this girl to like you.
But I'm here to tell you that you absolutely can get her to notice you, or change her mind about you…
…if you're willing to follow the simple, step-by-step advice of three of the most sought-out dating experts in the world.
The “Three Wise Men” That Will Help You Get “Her”
I wanted to pull out all of the stops here so that you had the absolute best chance of getting the one girl you want most right now.
You might remember Hamid Castro, the $15 k Secret Agent who helps some of the world's richest men get ripped and get better with women.
“Percentage wise, I'd say my clients are a little more than 50-50 where they have a specific girl in mind before they hire me,” Hamid says. “Whether that's an ex-girlfriend or a new girl, I have a game plan to deal with these types of things. But then it's up to the guy to follow it.”
I also pulled in sex guru Ruwan Meepagala, who's quickly become a Gotham Club hit in recent weeks with his advice on how to get better with women in the bedroom.
And of course, I couldn't leave our own Glenn Pearce out of the fun. Before giving his advice, Glenn cautioned that any guy looking to get should take a long look at himself:
“You have the unique opportunity here to do some real introspection and figure out why you're fixated on this one girl. Ask yourself ‘Why do I want this particular girl? What is it about her? How does she make me feel about myself? What kind of false value am I placing on this woman?
“Even though you think you know who this person is, in reality you might not have any idea. Your idea of who this woman is is probably an illusion, so you have to dispel yourself of that right up front.”
These are three of the top minds helping men get women today, and this problem is so pressing, I needed to bring in all three of them to handle it, and give you a step-by-step roadmap to get your seemingly unattainable girl.
1) The “5 Minute” Test to Warm Her Up…
Before you focus on the one girl you really want to be with, you're going to have to practice on other women. Potentially quite a bit.
More than anything else, you want to make sure that when you finally do talk to the object of your affection, you aren't nervous. You want it to be second-nature, just like you're talking to any other woman you might come across in a bar.
And if that's difficult for you right now, then Hamid has some sound advice for you that will help you lower the tension and increase your confidence within the first 5 minutes of talking to a girl.
“First of all, I need to know if she's laughing,” Hamid says. “Sometimes I say [to my clients], ‘We are not doing anything but to have a conversation. We are not trying to sleep with this girl, we are not trying to take her on a date next week. All we want to do is see if we can make her laugh, see if we can make her have a good time, even if it's just minutes, even if it's just 5 minutes, even if she has a boyfriend that's in the bathroom, that's that.'”
Hamid recommends going out and doing just that–try to make other attractive women laugh–for as long as is necessary until it becomes second nature.
Now this might seem tough to you. I know what you're thinking: “I thought you said this was going to be easy!”
The truth is, once you go out and try it, it really isn't that tough to make a woman laugh. Plus where you really want things to be easy is when you finally start to talk to the girl you really like.
Think of it that way: compared to the “main event,” this is just some light sparring. A few rounds of practice.
“It's low, low, low pressure,” Hamid says. “Once you start feeling comfortable with that, we move forward.”
Glenn agrees, but he takes things a step further. Not only will your confidence grow, but the woman you really like may even start to take notice.
“It's going to do a lot for your ego, a lot for your presence, and if you're fixated on this girl, and she notices that other women like you and other women are all attracted to you and other women are all swooning over you, she's going to think, ‘What did I miss in this guy that the other girls didn't?' And her curiosity light is going to go off.”
It's a concept called “social proof,” and it means that the more a woman sees you with other attractive women, the higher your value in her eyes.
As you continue to go out and get more comfortable with higher-value women, she will start to think of you as a higher-value guy. And she'll probably start wondering about all sorts of things:
“She's laughing at something he said–he must be funny!”
“He's so comfortable around her–he's so confident!”
“He must be really secure in who he is!”
The result? She'll subconsciously start to become more attracted to you without you even having to say a word to her!
2) How to Get Her Attention and Talk to Her
At some point, if you haven't already, you need to strike up a conversation with the woman you're interested in.
Sometimes this isn't an issue–maybe you're a co-worker or she's otherwise in your social circle, and you're on friendly terms.
But if that's not the case, then you need to do what you've done with every other attractive woman you've been successful with to this point:
Make her laugh.
The rules shouldn't change because of who she is.
If you literally haven't talked to her ever, I'd suggest using Craig's super-simple conversation starter. It's easy, quick, and painless, and will definitely break the ice with her while keeping you out of the friend zone.
Once you've broken the ice initially, I'd highly recommend going through this detailed breakdown of Nick Sparks' “How to Hold Conversation Like a Man.”
Nick's secrets are so powerful that they'll help with any woman you come across, including the one girl that you really like.
You really should watch the whole video, but if you don't have time, I've made it really easy to jump around and have written summaries of all of the important points he makes…and there are a lot of them.
3) How to Make Your Move and Ask Her Out
This is the step that trips up a lot of guys. Most guys in this situation think, “I don't want to be embarrassed,” or “I don't want to ruin the friendship we have.”
“Basically I would argue that 99.9% of the men in this situation haven't even tried to get with this girl,” Glenn says. “They've totally tried to become her friend, Facebook friend, commenting on all of her pictures, wa wa wa, trying like ‘Hey notice me! I'm over here!'
“But the guy hasn't really gone for it. So before you can even remedy this situation, you have to grow a set of balls and literally try to go out with her, try to kiss her, try to sleep with her.”
In reality, if you don't take a shot, you're just grinding your way deeper and deeper into the friend zone.
“Take the shot! What do you have to lose? Embarrassment? Get over it!” Glenn says.
Naturally, he favors a bold, “rip off the band-aid” approach, as opposed to trying to ask her out and play it off like a joke if it doesn't work, or being super-serious and pouring your heart out to her.”
But how do you do that without risking embarrassment?
Glenn and Hamid have two different approaches:
Feel free to use the one that works better with your personality type.
1) “I would rather go very dominant and aggressive,” Glenn says. “I'd be like:
‘Hey, Friday night, wear some heels, some great lipstick, meet me at 8 o'clock.'
She might say, ‘Hey, I can't, I'm busy.'
So I would say, ‘Alright, cool, why don't you hit me back when you're not busy?'”
2) Hamid favors a more mysterious approach:
“There has to be the right way to getting their number with them knowing that you are getting their number. You need to eventually make it known but still have them wonder if you do need it.”
So what does he advise specifically? “I've had situations where I've told them ‘You'll probably be hungry this weekend, I should probably have your number, just in case we decided to get dinner.' Just say it, laugh afterwards, see what they say.
“They might say, ‘Oh, I don't know. You're right, that's probably not a good move now, but maybe the following weekend.' And you kind of brush it off like that. You got to roll with them, you got to be able to have those rebuttals ready.”
Even if you get some initial resistance, push through it.
“You have to be able to push when they say no, because girls are trained to say no,” Hamid says. “Don't be scared of the no. I send guys out and they've never been turned down.”
“I've been told ‘no,' but I've never actually been turned down. A girl can tell me no, then two sentences later, three sentences later, a week later, it doesn't matter–she is back to my place. ‘No' is different than being turned down.”
Glenn agrees, but even takes it a step further: “You need to be rejected. And not just once, because sometimes “no” means ‘Hey, idiot, try harder,' or she might be trying to test you or playing hard to get.
“So I would say before you could definitively put yourself in the category of ‘I want the one girl who doesn't want to be with me,' you should've tried at least, if you're close to her and know her well, half-a-dozen times, six times.
“If you don't really know her that well, and you only see her around town a little bit, or only come into contact a little bit, minimum 3 times–min-i-mum! And THEN you could reassess the situation a little more.”
Either method is an incredibly easy, solid method to make your move on the girl that you really want. Glenn's is a little more forward, and Hamid's is more casual, but like I said before, use whichever one works better with your personality type.
Then, if that doesn't work, try the other. What do you have to lose?
4) What If She Has a Boyfriend or Husband?
“I won't help a guy get a specific girl if the woman is married,” Hamid says. “If she has a boyfriend I'll help you because I don't think there is anything wrong with that.”
Glenn has a different take. “Now we're getting into a whole new area here with moral issues,” he says.
Glenn generally advocates a “wait-and-see” approach. “I would do my thing, and live my life, and let her know I'm sleeping with all these different chicks, and having a great time, and I'd slowly but surely wait for her to let me know it's okay to hang out with her, and girls in that situation will, they're not stupid,” Glenn says.
“When she's locked up with a guy and she wants to cheat, they'll kind of let you know, you don't have to do a lot of chasing in these situations.”
How will she let you know? “She'll complain about him, let you know she's not happy, say things like ‘We rarely have sex, he never does this, we're having a lot of problems, I don't want to talk about him,'” Glenn says.
“Or there's going to be a complete absence of his presence. Like you're just never going to hear about him, like this girl never talks about this boyfriend. And that's a good sign–that means that she's not talking about him because he's nothing to talk about right now, and you should just go for it!”
5) How to Get Physical With the Girl of Your Dreams
Once you finally get her out on the date, you may be tempted to pull back a bit.
That little voice in your head might tell you that this girl is “special,” and deserves to be treated as such.
Glenn simply shakes his head.
“Treat her no differently than any other girl,” he says. “Follow whatever your normal plan is for hooking up on a date.”
If you don't have a “normal plan for hooking up on a date,” we have some great free resources to help you out. Like this article on sexual escalation.
Ruwan has some great advice for starting to get physical with a girl out on a date.
“If I'm alone with a girl, and want to get physical with her, I might flat out say, ‘Hey, I want to kiss you right now.'…Flat out saying what you want is such a simple, but mind-blowingly effective technique.”
You can read more of Ruwan's advice on how to effortlessly go from conversation to touch in this article featuring some of his deepest secrets.
And then of course there's the incomparable Magic Leone, who has helped a lot of guys get over what can only be described as their fear of touching women.
One of his videos in particular on how to go for the kiss really can help you get past what's normally a big stopping point for a lot of guys.
You can even read why touch is more powerful than words to really connect with a woman quickly if you click right here.
6) The Foolproof Plan That Will Get Her “Hooked” In The Bedroom
If you've spent a lot of time fantasizing about a particular woman, odds are that as you get closer to “doing the deed” with her, the more nervous you'll get.
It's only natural. After all, you've probably built this occasion into something so incredibly huge, so mind-blowing that you'll barely be able to think straight, right?
“Here's the deal,” Glenn says. “If a guy is experiencing that type of pressure, that's immediately telling me that the guy's not as experienced as he should be. The pressure to deliver the goods in bed should be non-existent.”
He continues, “I wouldn't put that pressure on yourself. The pressure just to get the girl is probably overwhelming and enough.”
“The reality is, yeah if you could give a girl the most mind-blowing sex she's ever had, she's probably never going to walk away from you. But think about how many people are married have children, in relationships for twenty years with people both men and women who aren't the best f—s they've had. They're just GOOD. And they're like ‘Sex is just very GOOD with us.' So why have that pressure?”
The best way to get rid of that pressure? You need to get more confidence. And the best way to get more confidence in the bedroom is to learn some of the best, most tried-and-true secrets of female pleasure.
Ruwan collaborated on an excellent article with me about how to be more dominant in the bedroom, and in it, he gave some great advice:
“In order for her to experience orgasm, she must go out of control,” he says. “Her body physically has to go out of control. You can't force an orgasm. She will only come with a guy who is strong enough to handle her emotions and handle her sensations, and not be bothered by it, and you demonstrate all that through all these things we call dominance.”
And if you need a shortcut… one that's been called the “sexual addictor” because it's so powerful, you have to check this out from Tantric Sex Master Lawrence Lanoff.
7) How to Keep Her After You've Gotten Her?
“We could do a whole 5-hour podcast on this alone,” Glenn says.
For now, though, Glenn offers one of his most profound pieces of advice:
“If you want to keep a girl, the best thing you can do is always be the person she would cheat on you with, and you'll never have to worry about her leaving.”
But that's an article for another day…
So Here Are All 7 Steps to Recap:
1) Analyze why you really like this girl. Is it the way she makes you feel? Have you developed an idealized, “perfect woman” vision of her? Why do you think she's so much better than other women? Knowing this will help you figure out a lot about yourself.
2) Start going out and approaching more women randomly, either on the street or in clubs or bars. Like Hamid says, try to get them laughing. Become comfortable talking to women more generally.
3) Pick either Glenn's or Hamid's strategy above to make your move. If one doesn't work, try the other. Persevere. Wait until you've gotten six “no”s before reevaluating.
4) Get her out on a date. Escalate like you normally would, and use the free resources above for some tips on how to do it. Don't give into the pressure–by now, she should seem more like the dozens of other girls you've approached.
5) Get Physical with Her. Use Ruwan's or Magic's advice to start touching her in a seemingly innocent, but sexual way.
6) Get her “hooked” on you in the bedroom. The easiest way to do that is right here…
7) To keep her, be the person she would cheat on you with. Figure out your strengths and weaknesses, and work on maintaining the former while beefing up the latter.
Most importantly, this isn't going to necessarily be easy.
“The reality of winning a girl who doesn't like you means hard work usually. Okay?” Glenn says. “You can't have every girl, I mean even me if I became fixated on a single girl–and I'm extremely successful with women–I might be able to do my best, but there's still no guarantee that I could get that girl to fall in love with me, or sleep with me. There are just going to be some girls out there that you're not compatible with, or there's no attraction, no chemistry.”
But that doesn't mean to stand idly by and wait for some rom-com-like moment where she finally realizes that you're meant to be together, either.
Just because something is difficult does not mean it's to be avoided. In fact, like Glenn mentioned at the very beginning, sometimes just by going through the journey, you'll learn a lot more about yourself, what kinds of women you like, how to attract them, and how to become happier.
And One Final Step to Give You the Confidence You Need…
If you're still on the fence about using this simple 7-step plan… here's a final confidence booster:
It's a cheat sheet… that'll show you 7 of a woman's subtle signs that she's into you.
In my experience, if a woman likes you, she's not going to come out and tell you, since she doesn't want to be seen as “easy” or “a slut.”
So instead she “codes” her interest in you in some pretty subtle body language signs and “indicators of interest”…
Once you know these, you'll notice that a lot more girls are into you than you ever thought possible…
(…maybe even the girl you really want.)
And once you see a woman give you a few of these signs? That's your “green light”… so you can safely escalate without any risk: