A Beautiful Redhead Called Me Horrible Names and It Was One of the Best Things That’s Ever Happened To Me

how to deal with rejection redhead
Photo by Allan Rostron (CC BY-NC 2.0)

How to Deal With Rejection

This morning I was lying in bed, and for some reason I just started thinking back to a time when I was first learning to get good with women.

I was thinking about some of the amazing successes I had, and a big silly smile was slowly creeping up on my face.

As quick as that smile came on, I found myself making a different kind of face. I would have to describe it as a kind of “laughing at myself” grin but scrunched up like I was sucking on a lemon…

But as I noticed my face changing I burst out into a fit of laughter…

Why did I burst out into laughter at the thought of my face?

Well… it wasn’t my face that made me laugh out loud it was the voice of a woman screaming at the top of her lungs calling me an asshole, perverted loser and telling me to get away from her!

I’ll answer your question now: Yes, this did happen to me!

Even worse, it happened in a crowded park in the middle of the perfect summer day.

Let me paint you a picture of what exactly happened. It was back when I was first learning how to handle rejection. I had come to learn that in order for me to get better at approaching women, I would have to get over the fear of being rejected.

The fear of rejection is what many men struggle with the most. It’s typically what holds us back from meeting tons of new women.

I was deep in the process of learning how to deal with rejection and fear in a way that was drastically different from anything that I had known before.

I wanted desperately to learn how to turn rejection into a learning experience. I wanted to learn how to turn the feeling of rejection into a feeling of empowerment. I was also trying to learn how to deal with rejection so that it didn’t impact my mood negatively in any way.

I worked with some affirmations and visualization techniques, but they would only work so well without real life experiences to back them up. Basically, I had to experience more rejection so I could eventually become numb to it’s devastating effects on a man’s confidence.

My False Pride is Punished

how to deal with rejection pride
Photo by Rex Dingler (CC BY 2.0)

After quite some time of practice, I had all but thought that I’ve overcome this fear. I thought I had beaten reacting negatively to a rejection out of me when the rejection of all rejections slapped me in the face one day and woke me up.

I was strolling along through a super crowded and popular park here in NYC when I saw a super hot redhead sitting on a park bench with a mini-skirt on.

She looked at me, I looked at her…

She smiled at me, I smiled at her…

And… I went in for the kill!

There was an empty seat right next her. I sat down beside her, said what I had to say and she just looked away!

Hmm…that was odd. She was smiling at me and now she’s ignoring me? Sometimes I hate women! lol

So, I pushed on. I teased her about being shy around handsome guys and told her it was cute.

That’s when it happened. Little did I know that I would be the laughing stock of over 50 people within a second.

This cute, shy, innocent and reserved redhead stood up and at the top of her lungs started screaming at me, “You loser! I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to know you. I’m not shy! Only perverts talk to girls who want to be left alone! Ewwwwww, you’re such an asshole!”

When I say screamed, I mean she screamed! I think I actually may have long-term hearing loss from the whole ordeal!

As she was screaming this so the whole world could hear, I was looking around at all the people watching.

Cell phones were being taken out so they could video record me…

People were laughing and pointing…

And other women were looking at me like I was that creepy pervert in the park that they should all be scared of.

GULP!

The Most Important Decision of My Life

A she stormed off, I was left with a difficult decision–probably the toughest decision of my life at the time, and certainly at one of my life’s lowest points:

I could either get up, take the walk of shame, and go back to being sorry “old Glenn”…

Or I could just sit there, smile and feel–really feel–all of the different emotions that I was experiencing and learn from them.

Believe me, I wanted to run, and in that scared part of my brain, I was sure the police were coming. But I said “screw that,” I’m going to just sit here and make eye-contact with everyone laughing at me and learn from this.

This was probably the hardest fifteen minutes of my life, but I knew there was something to be learned from doing this. There was a very valuable lesson at the end of this.

After only about two minutes, the people who were once laughing at me were back to doing whatever it is that were doing before.

No one was pointing or video recording me anymore. The show was over for them. The worst fifteen minutes of my life had turned into only the worst few minutes!

But the show was still going on in my head. I was trying to figure out what I said that was so wrong. Was it my voice tone, my eye contact, the way I smelled, some piece of food stuck in my teeth that grossed her out, or did I somehow insult her?

Then it hit me:

Wait a minute…why am I making up excuses? It doesn’t matter if I did something wrong. What mattered is what I needed to learn about rejection!

After about twenty minutes of sitting there, I started to feel good again. I started to smile and I actually felt like talking to more women.

I got up and walked around looking for another hot chick to approach with a surge of excitement. The feelings of self-doubt and lack of confidence were gone again.

I spotted a hot blonde, walked up to her, and started chatting her up.

She loved me! What’s funny is that during our conversation, she said to me that she heard a woman screaming at a guy just a little while before in the park, but couldn’t see where it was coming from. I laughed and told her that was me but she hit me on the arm and said, “Stop it…No girl would scream at you like that! You’re too cool.”

Her Freak Out Taught Me This Valuable Lesson…

how to deal with rejection fleeting
Photo by Elizabeth Weller (CC BY-NC 2.0)

The lesson I learned that day was very valuable and I am forever appreciative of that redhead. If it wasn’t for her I may have never learned so much about myself (or how to deal with rejection) in such a short amount of time.

What I learned is that rejection, or should I say the feeling of rejection is only temporary. It’s a temporary experience that we may spend our lives trying to avoid. The feelings that arise from rejection are just feelings and as with any feelings, they come and they go.

More importantly, why would I ever let a temporary feeling dictate my life in any way? Why let something that is only temporary affect you permanently?

Over the years, I’ve been rejected more times than I can count. I have had some of the best (worst?) blow-outs ever from women. They’re all worthy of world records!

But at the end of the day with every rejection you are that much closer to success.

There’s a saying: “The measure of a man is not how much he suffers in the test, but how he comes out at the end”

I love that quote. The end goal is what you should always keep in mind. I would urge you to keep your eyes on the prize. There’s a big prize at the end of this journey and that prize, besides an increase in confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem, may just be a blonde, brunette or who knows, even a redhead!

Share this...
Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter