How To Take Her Over the Edge Every Time–Finally, We Have An Answer: How Long Should I Last In Bed?
A lot of movies paint “good” sex as lasting for hours, until both partners are dripping in sweat and watching the sunrise together.
As a result, many men have come to believe that sex can't be good unless it lasts for a long time.
But how long is a “long” time?
And do women really want sex to last for hours?
In an effort to find an answer, a recent survey asked 50 sex experts and real women to tell the truth about how long good sex lasts…
And I bet their answer will surprise you.
The #1 Reason “Marathon Sex” Is More Myth Than Reality
A lot of guys assume women want sex to last for hours… AKA “marathon sex.”
In reality, though, the opposite is true!
Marathon sex might sound fun in theory, but think about the logistics:
- You need to block out a couple hours just for sex, which can take some serious planning…
- You need to make sure you can quickly “recover” between sessions (a source of anxiety for a lot of men)…
- There will be lots of sweat, so you’ll need to rehydrate between sessions…
- And most of all, both of you will be very, very tired at the end of it…
These aren’t necessarily bad things… but marathon sex isn’t exactly a walk in the park.
The bottom line is the longer sex is not always better sex. If you can give her an orgasm, then you can be pretty damn sure she's having a good time, no matter how long the sex was.
But how long should it take to give her an orgasm, anyway?
Is it the same for every woman?
And ultimately, is there a “shortcut” to give her an orgasm, faster?
Here’s what the study says:
The “Ideal” Amount of Time She Wants to Have Sex
According to the study, which asked 50 sex experts how long women really want to have sex, only sex that lasts 1-2 minutes is “too short.”
Yes, you read that right — the only way you’re not lasting long enough is if you literally can’t last more than 2 minutes.
The 50 sex experts labeled sex that lasts 3-7 minutes as “adequate” (but not mindblowing), and “desirable” sex lasts anywhere from 7-13 minutes.
So for most women, 10 minutes really is long enough for her to think, “Damn, that was good.”
Of course, there’s a lot of variation in sex. For example, if you stay in one position for the entire 10 minutes, she might either love it (if it’s a position that makes it easier for her to orgasm)…
Or she might be secretly wishing you’d switch it up. It truly depends on the woman.
The point here is that no, you don’t have to try extra hard to last longer in bed, or feel “inadequate” if you can’t last longer than 10 or 15 minutes.
And in fact, if you do consistently last longer than that… it might not be as much of a turn-on as you think.
Is There Such a Thing as Having Sex For “Too Long”?
Like I mentioned above, marathon sex often isn’t as sexy as most people imagine.
And according to the sex experts, sex that lasts from 13-30 minutes might actually be too long.
Of course, the woman you take home isn’t going to grab her stopwatch and time you…
However, she could end up getting bored during the deed.
So if you’re dead set on having sex for half an hour, make sure to mix things up:
- Switch positions…
- Make consistent eye contact…
- Gauge her to see if she looks “into it” or not…
The bottom line is that if you give her an orgasm and know what she wants, then the sex is going to be good. Period.
It Doesn’t End There…
While the sex experts were able to determine the “sweet spot” for sex as being 7-13 minutes, the real women surveyed didn't have an exact answer.
And that makes a lot of sense — when's the last time you timed yourself during sex?
You might have a good idea of how long it lasted… but you probably don't know for sure.
That's true for women too. She knows when sex feels too short or too long, but there's not one specific number that makes sex “perfect.”
At the end of the day, the key is to focus on the quality of your sex, rather than quantity (how long it lasts).
And how do you do that?
The first step is to figure out exactly what she wants in bed.
How To Figure Out Exactly What She Wants During Sex Before You Do the Deed
It might seem obvious, but the easiest way to figure out exactly what a woman wants during sex is to ask her.
Rather than doing the awkward dance around “Will she like it if I touch her here?” Or “I wonder if she wants me to go faster…”
Just have a conversation before you actually have sex!
Of course, you don’t have to ask her, “Would you prefer me to go for 7 minutes or 13?”
But questions like, “What turns you on the most?”…
“Where do you want me to touch you?”…
Or even “Can you show me what you like?” Work wonders on most women.
There is one more tip I have for you… and it comes from a little personal experience ;):
My Very First “Pulsing Orgasm”…
“Oh my GOD…I’m coming… I’m coming!!!” I moaned…
Harry smirked…“Shhh…or we might get caught by a lifeguard!”
I had always fantasized about sex on the beach… and so that night, we set out to check it off of my bucket list.
Though I have to admit I was pretty nervous… I was so worried about getting caught that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to enjoy myself…
But I forgot all about that when Harry pushed me down on the sand, slid off my bathing suit bottoms, and said, “Let me try a little something new…”
When he was inside me, he did this kind of “pulsing” penetration… it felt pretty normal at first… though after a few minutes, it built into an EXPLOSIVE release.
I didn’t really know how to describe this “Pulsing Orgasm” until Harry showed me this video… that shows you what to do to give any woman the kind of pleasure Harry gave me…
[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on August 2, 2020.]