How to Get Out of Your Head… And Have an Epic Conversation With 0 Anxiety…
I’ve written a lot about how to talk to women in the past…
But the truth is that unless I’m there, watching you talk to women, I can’t give you personalized advice.
So instead of showing you how to attack specific issues you might be having in your conversations, this week I’m going to set you up for success…
With ANY woman. In ANY conversation.
It’s all about your mindset…
Getting Out of Your Head and Into the Moment…
Before I was a master of conversation, I got caught up in my own head all the time.
I’d be talking to a girl, and all I could think about was:
- Is my breath bad?…
- Does she think I’m weird?…
- Am I completely boring her?…
And it made every conversation like a living nightmare of anxiety for me.
So how do you get out of your head and into the moment?
Try this exercise with me:
1) Look up at the corner of the room or nearest ceiling.
2) Close your eyes (But read the rest of the instructions first!)
3) Imagine that you are in the corner of that ceiling you’re looking at.
4) From your imaginary perspective in the corner of the ceiling, look down where you’re actually sitting (or standing or lying).
(This is where closing your eyes will help you…)
This trick is the easiest way for you to become “detached” from your situation — AKA getting out of your own head.
And what’s even better is that with practice, you'll be able to do this without closing your eyes or looking up at the closest ceiling!
All it takes is 10 seconds, and she'll never guess what's really going on inside your head.
When you can get out of your own head in any situation, you’ll be able to step out of your conversation and recognize when things are going well…
And when they aren’t, you’ll be able to react and change the subject much faster.
Last week, I showed you why your ability to change the subject is one of the most powerful weapons you can have in your arsenal when you talk to women.
And when you have the power to step outside of yourself and get out of your own head, then changing the subject becomes a breeze.
So how do you do it?
3 Ways to Change the Subject and Take Control of Your Conversations
Here are 3 basic tricks I use when the conversation hits a lull or starts feeling awkward:
1) Introduce a Non-Sequitur
This is a trick to use when the subject material gets too specific (I wrote about that here).
So here’s what you do:
Channel a positive emotion, notice something in your surroundings, and make an observation.
So if I’m in a girl’s living room and she can’t stop talking about her ex, I’d say,
“Hey, that lamp is beautiful! The shade color reminds of an eggshell.”
Why does this work?
First, it suggests that the lampshade is so interesting that it literally stopped you from responding to her annoying comments about her ex.
And because it implies the lampshade is so interesting, it forces her to notice it — and this does the job of getting her out of her own head.
She has to acknowledge the lampshade, and that forces the subject to change.
So in response, she might say:
“Eggshell? I guess it looks like that…what was I saying?”
And this is where you’re in control. Don’t remind her of her ex — talk about what you want to now.
2) Go Back to the General
Here’s another thing you can do to change the subject when things start getting too specific or negative.
Basically, what you do is think about the topic, and expand it out to something vaguely related…
But way more general.
What does this look like?
If she says, “I grow prize Azaleas,” you might completely blank:
“What the f— is an Azalea?” Or…
“I have no interest in this…”
So instead of saying either of those things, you could move the subject to something more general, like:
“Really? I love giving women flowers.”
“This is a great city for flower fanatics!” (This also introduces a subject change to the city and away from flowers.)
It doesn’t matter if you don’t actually love flowers or even if you know nothing about them — the important thing is that you’re slowly moving out of the topic without letting her know that’s what you’re doing.
If both of these methods fail — she won’t stop talking about those damn Azaleas or her abusive ex, and you’re thinking:
“Can I salvage this date?”
Here’s what you do:
3) Talk About Her!
As a last resort, turn the spotlight on her.
Notice or compliment some physical thing about her — make it small and situation-based.
What you notice also has to be something you can see right now. It might sound obvious, but don’t bring up a dress she was wearing on your last date with her. She’ll wise up to the fact that you’re bored.
So if she’s off on a tangent about her ex, you could say,
“Woah. When you get angry about something, your eyes really glow! They look brighter than an Olympic torch!”
“You know, you have the cutest chin! I never noticed before!”
For most women — especially the self-indulgent kind — comments like this are irresistible.
So when you’ve got her back on track, you’re in the driver’s seat…
And the next step is to ease her into sexual territory.
Now here’s where the fun starts…
How to “Drive” Her Mind to a Dirty Place
I’ve got a friend who’s diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. My buddy is so damn shy. Like, painfully anxious around women. Flushed cheeks, sweaty forehead, dry mouth, the works.
But I watched him use this conversation trick that has NOTHING to do with talking…
…to attract a girl at the bar…
…and start escalating with her right there in a way that wasn't really obvious to anyone else.
I could tell she was getting more than a little bit worked up — she was biting her lip and getting really awkward and nervous around him…
…all the way until, at the end of the night, when he said, “Come on, I've got a great bottle of wine at my place, let's go…”
She just nodded her head like an obedient little puppy, and followed him home without question.
I was so proud of him, man!
Especially because he’d used the one specific conversation trick I’d taught him that gets girls to bang you… even if you're extremely shy, or have crippling social anxiety.
Just click here to learn the nonverbal conversation technique that will have her biting her lip and eyeing you up and down like that…