The Best First Date Tips for Men to Prevent Flaking Before It Starts–Do You Know These Foolproof Lines?
I get this question all the time from men in our community:
“Women flake. What am I supposed to do about that?”
Right before I define flaking, let me say that–first and foremost–flaking is NOT a masculine thing to do.
When you are “flaky,” you risk one of the strongest masculine features in your personality and reputation:
Integrity.
And that’s because “flaking” is when you don’t follow through on social plans.
This is why flakiness tends to be something that more women do than men.
A flaky man compromises his reliability…
Honesty…
And overall integrity.
So why is flaking somehow more “acceptable” for a woman to do? And why do women do this in the first place?
That’s what I’ll show you today, along with some great techniques to ask a woman out so you never have to worry about flakiness again.
Why Do Women Flake for No “Real” Reason?
Women are considered to be socially experienced and skilled.
This kind of dealing with people often involves negotiating complex scenarios–playing loosely with facts and promises seems to be an accepted consequence of this experience.
In the same way, lawyers are often assumed to have an advanced relationship with facts. Facts are what they use in their business, and controlling the way facts are presented is a required part of their job.
As a result, they are allowed to lie. It is still unattractive, but they’re given leeway.
Let me clarify, however, that while women often tell me that men are just as flaky as they are… I find in general that this is not quite the case.
Here’s what I mean:
The #1 Kind of Plan That Makes Flaking Way More Likely
Let me show you a conversation to illustrate what I mean when a woman calls a man “flaky.”
Her: Why do guys flake?
Me: What? Guys don’t flake.
Her: We had a plan and he never showed up.
Me: Explain.
Her: Well, we spoke on Monday about live music downtown… and before we finished the conversation, he said we should get together this weekend.
Me: What day were you set to meet?
Her: Well, I could have met him any day–like Friday or Saturday.
Me: What time were you guys set up to meet?
Her: We didn’t have a specific time–obviously lunch or dinner–I don’t like when guys call me at midnight and expect me to want to go out.
Me: You see where I’m going, right? Where did you plan to meet?
Her: He knew I liked the restaurant we were talking about–we could have met there, or anywhere in that area.
Of course, it’s inconvenient when you expect to see someone on the weekend and then they didn’t follow through to make plans. However, it’s not the same as if you show up and they don’t.
It’s very unreliable when you don’t keep even amorphous “plans” like that, but this is not “flaking.”
In other words, a plan must include a date, a location and a time. THAT’S a plan.
Flaking means that you could show up at a prearranged time and location and wait for nothing.
That can only happen if there is a day, time and location.
Which brings me to the whole point of this article–how to ask a woman out over text to prevent flaking.
Is There a Way to Ask Her Out That Prevents Flaking?
So how do you avoid flaking?
And what do you do when it happens?
First, to avoid the “amorphous plan” type of flaking, you need to make better plans.
As the guy, you are usually the one choosing the date, time and location, so just choose them. That might be harder than it sounds, but it’s an important step to follow.
For example:
“Let’s have dinner on Monday. I’ll pick you up at your place.”
You’d be better off adding “…at eight.” But I want you to realize that even without a specific time, dinner describes a certain time of day.
This date also does not have a specified location, but there are a date and time to meet. If she agrees to this and then she’s not at home when you arrive, you would be waiting for nothing, and she’s guilty of flaking.
There’s also an indirect way you can make plans to prevent flaking.
Let’s say you’re talking about something you’ve done that she expresses an interest in.
You might say:
You: “You’ve never been? We should go! What day are you free?”
Her: “Tuesdays I finish work early.”
Now, when she says this, she has basically agreed to the plan–however, you do not have concrete plans yet. And it’s not flaking if she doesn’t show up.
You need to “close” for the date. And that looks like this:
You: “Perfect–I’ll meet you there at 8? It’s at… let me look… 123 Main Street. Is 8 good? Or would you prefer 9?”
By adding the “9” bit, you have removed “no” as a valid response.
You’ve given her a choice instead of a “yes or no” question. The choice is a closing trick that encourages her to go ahead.
It Doesn’t End There…
The key, here, is to not accept “I guess,” or “Mmhmm” as an answer.
At the end of the day, while women are far more willing to flake than men… they also don’t want to flake.
And if they have clearly made plans they are aware of, they will usually call to cancel before they flake. (Of course, this is still flaking, and it’s still rude if it’s less than 24 hours notice).
But what if there was a way to prevent flaking… a way beyond just making concrete plans?
The truth is, there is an easy way to do it.
And I’ll show you what it is right here:
5 Texts That Get Her to Chase You (Prevents Any Chance Of Flaking)…
Personally, I used to believe one thing that caused about 75-80% of the women I made plans with to flake or cancel at the last minute:
“I have to be super agreeable over text.”
I was all, “Yes, we can meet wherever you want…”… and, “Sure, we can do that day…” (even if I had to reschedule other plans)… one time I even agreed that How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days was a “really good movie”… yuck!
(Yeah, this worked on maybe one or two girls I was texting… but even if we met up, there was never a second date.)
Then I joined the Gotham Club community… and discovered one fact that completely changed my results with women:
When I was simply agreeing with everything these women texted me… I was failing their “s**t tests”… and that made me seem a lot less valuable in their eyes.
In reality, women want you to challenge them… because it keeps them interested… and can even cause them to chase you.
(Which, as you may have guessed, basically takes any chance of her “flaking” off the table.)
So when GC founder Craig Miller showed me this community-developed list of 5 texts that “challenge” women & cause them to chase you… I was amazed.
I mean, these are texts I would NEVER have thought to send a girl… a couple of them even seem borderline offensive!
But the #’s don’t lie: Since I started sending these texts, my flake rate has been cut in half. 🙂
So if you’ve been flaked on even once in your life… or if you simply want an easy way to get girls to text you back faster… then I highly recommend you check this list out:
5 Texts That Get Her to Chase You (Prevents Any Chance Of Flaking)…
