Pornstar Lyra Law Reveals The Best BDSM Tricks & Techniques to Ease Any Woman Into Kinkier Sex (Even If She Seems Shy Or “Vanilla”)…
Chains…
Whips…
…and bondage, oh my!
BDSM used to be a taboo form of sexual expression–however, it has recently been gaining in popularity.
The Kinsey Institute reports that 55% of women respond to being bitten during sex–which you may already do because you like it as well. But guess what?
That’s BDSM!
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And it’s no surprise why! BDSM is a fun way to add extra excitement in your bedroom. It’s no wonder so many couples are experimenting with BDSM these days.
Of course, figuring out how to ease a vanilla girl into the world of BDSM may seem intimidating.
Don’t worry–I’m pornstar Lyra Law, and I’m here to help guide you on the best ways to slowly introduce BDSM in the bedroom.
As a former dominatrix, I know a lot about the BDSM scene, and I’ve learned a few tricks over the years that can help you turn even the most straight-laced of girls into a BDSM queen.
What Is BDSM, Really?
Before we get too far along, it’s important to understand what BDSM really is.
When most people hear the phrase “BDSM,” they picture whips, chains, or bondage… but there’s so much more to BDSM.
Here’s what each part of BDSM stands for:
- B/D stands for Bondage and Discipline…
- D/S stands for Dominance and Submission…
- And S/M stands for Sadism and Masochism.
Combine them all together, and you get BDSM. I won’t get into the specifics of each aspect, but BDSM is characterized by two willing participants taking on unequal but corresponding roles.
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There are 3 important things to remember about this definition.
1) Consent is key.
It’s not BDSM if there isn’t consent. You’ve probably heard of “safe words” before, and that’s definitely part of this. Both participants have to be willing to participate in their agreed-upon roles.
2) Understanding your role is really important.
Just because a girl or guy likes being taken control of in bed does not mean he or she is powerless.
Many people love taking on the role of a submissive, or a “sub,” because it allows them to relax and let go while the dominant, or “dom,” takes the reigns.
Trust me, I was a Dominatrix for some very powerful men. 😉
3) BDSM goes beyond sex.
Some people are into BDSM acts that have nothing to do with sexual acts. BDSM is about a balance of power, and every couple is completely different.
BDSM also doesn’t have to include props like whips or rope.
It can just be about roleplaying, or even more simply, two people enjoying taking on submissive or dominant roles.
Now that you know exactly what BDSM is, here are 3 foolproof tips to ease any girl into trying BDSM:
3 Easy Ways To Introduce BDSM Into Your Bedroom
The key to trying anything new in the bedroom is communication.
So make sure you’re open and honest with your woman before trying any of these tips.
1) Start With Dirty Talk
Before jumping full speed into kinkier sex acts, start with one of the basics–dirty talk.
Dirty talk is great because you’ll learn a lot about what a girl likes and is interested in–if you do it right, that is.
Start off slowly by asking simple questions:
“Do you like that…?” Or,
“Does that feel good…?”
Then, get more intense:
“Are you a naughty girl…?” Or,
“How does my c**k feel inside of you?”
Once she’s getting into it, you can get more specific and really begin to learn a lot about what she likes.
Ask her what she wants you to do to her, and you’ll be sure to learn about some type of kink she has. Trust me. 😉
2) Build Up Slowly
You really have to ease into BDSM–this is true for some girls more than others.
I like to refer to this as the “frog boiling method.”
If you place a frog in cold water and slowly turn up the heat little by little, he’ll just sit in the pot without realizing he’s boiling.
It’s the same thing for BDSM or any kink. If you ease into it slowly, she won’t even really realize it’s happening. Instead, she’ll just realize she’s having an awesome time.
Start slowly with light spanking or hair pulling and see how she responds. Once a move becomes “routine” and you can see she likes it, pull out the big guns.
3) Pay Attention to Your Partner
Some guys are so focused on trying out something new that they tend to miss signs their partner might be throwing out.
For instance, maybe she’s really loving you holding her hands down… and then you start spanking her and it kills the mood.
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Pay attention to how she responds, and you’ll learn how to take each move further so that you graduate from light bondage to rope play and more.
But what if you can’t tell if she’s into any of it?
If she’s on the shy side, for example, she might not show you she enjoys the “rougher” stuff… but deep down, she secretly loves it.
So if that’s the case, what should you do?
The 5-Finger Tantra Technique: How To Ease a “Vanilla” Girl Into Kinky Sex…
I know it’s not always easy to jump into the “rough stuff” right away… so if the girl you’re with seems a little shy or hesitant… then this foreplay move is a great “gateway drug” to ease her into rougher sex.
It’s called the 5-Finger “Tantra Technique”… and it works like this:
When you’re kissing her, and the clothes start to come off… use your index and middle fingers to stimulate her clit like this… and whisper some naughty sexy things into her ear… like:
“Look how wet you are…”
“Your tongue feels so good on my d**k…”
“Do you want me to make you come you dirty, nasty s*ut…?”
(Note: A woman’s ears are SUPER sensitive, so try licking or biting them while you whisper for maximum effect. *mmmmm*)
When you feel her getting wetter… or she starts to moan… then you take your thumb, forefinger and your pinky, and do this to her… and then she’ll really start to squeal. 😉
This technique is perfect if you want to give a woman explosive, multiple orgasms… and get her to do just about whatever you want in bed… but just a heads up:
It can also cause her to squirt… so you may want to put a towel down first lol.
Personally, I believe every guy should try this at least once… because seriously, girls freaking LOVE it:
Show me the 5-Finger “Tantra Technique” that gives women EXPLOSIVE multiple orgasms…
[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on September 15, 2019.]
