5 Easy Steps to Eliminate Approach Anxiety… And Improve Your Sex Life Instantly
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Approach anxiety sucks.
It’s probably the #1 factor that keeps guys from talking to girls they want to hook up with.
I know this from (painful) experience…
Back in high school, there was this girl I really wanted to meet. She was absolutely the sexiest thing I’d ever seen (at the time).
But whenever I even thought about approaching her, I’d talk myself out of it.
Coming from a broken home with no father and bad case of Gynecomastia (man boobs), I was severely lacking in masculine confidence.
But I really wanted her. So one day I finally mustered my balls and approached.
“Hi…” I said, trembling.
“Hello,” she replied, with a big smile.
My heart was pounding, and the longer I stood there, the worse it got.
The blood rushed from my face, and unable to form even the simplest words, it dawned on me: “Oh shit, I’m going to have a panic attack in front of the hottest girl in school.”
As I stood there wheezing, her smile turned to a look of concern, and she said, “It’s okay…”
I just turned, and walked away.
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What an epic humiliation. I never did ask her out.
That, along with years of frustration and loneliness, became the catalyst for my liposuction of the manboobs. Good riddance.
Then using the power of the Internet, I looked up “How to talk to girls.”
Because living a life where I had a panic attack every time I talked to a pretty girl? No thanks.
I’m Tony Depp. A Toronto dating coach who now travels the world teaching men on and offline, how to succeed as a man, with women, and life.
I no longer have approach anxiety.
Let me teach you what I’ve learned, so when you see your girl, you can go meet her, anxiety free…
It’s actually REALLY easy to rid yourself of your anxiety — once you know how:
What is Approach Anxiety?
What is approach anxiety and why does it exist?
Anxiety is when you try to analyze all possible outcomes, all at once.
Imagine you’re a simple caveman, walking through the jungle collecting berries, and you see a pair of shining, yellow eyes. Oh shit… it’s a tiger!
What would your body’s automatic response be?
- Increased heart rate
- Heavy perspiration
- A massive dose of adrenaline
- A flurry of possible outcomes (thoughts and simulations)
Your body would go into fight or flight, or basically, a state of high anxiety.
You would quickly analyze the situation, all the escape routes, attack methods, and possibilities.
But most likely, you’d poop your loin cloth and be torn to shreds.
But everything before that would be instinctual. That is, unless you were a trained, and experienced hunter. In that case you’d remain calm, and kill the beast.
I’m going to teach you to be the experienced hunter…
The Anxious Heart Spikes
Remember a time you were at a bar, or going to get groceries, and you saw that stunning, cute, sexy girl, and you thought “Yes, that’s for me!?”
Did this happen?
- A spike in adrenaline
- Increased heart rate
- Sweating
- A flurry of random thoughts like: “What if someone see’s me? What do I say? Is this creepy or normal?”
Did you go into fight or flight mode?
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She’s not a tiger, but your unconscious mind doesn’t know that.
Your anxiety is also instinctual.
The Mind-Body Anxiety Loop
Your mind and body are linked.
So when you start trying to solve every problem all at once (anxiety) you realize… you can’t. There are just too many, infinite possibilities.
“What do I say?”
“Is this weird?”
“Will I creep her out?”
You can’t answer these questions intellectually. Only by approaching her, will you know the outcome.
This (thinking) causes your heart rate to spike, and off you go, down panic attack lane.
So to stop the approach anxiety, you need to either slow down your heart rate, or silence your inner voice.
Now I’ll teach you how to do both.
1) Find The Anxiety
Where is the anxiety manifesting in your physical body? Is it in a pounding in your chest? A tightening in your stomach, or your forehead?
For most people, it’s one of those three areas.
Once you’ve discovered where it is in your body, then you realize it’s not you causing the anxiety, it’s just an automatic, instinctual, unconscious reaction.
This realization is great news, because if it’s just your body, and not you, then you can train your body to stop freaking out.
You can teach it: “Hey, this is a pretty girl, not a tiger. Relax.”
2) Silence Your Inner-Dialogue
Most people have a constant inner dialogue. We’re always playing out scenarios in our mind—running simulations of, “What if?” It’s like we’re fighter pilots using our imagination to land our jets on an aircraft carrier.
- What if she thinks I’m weird?
- What if someone sees me approach her?
- What if I say something stupid?
- What if I get rejected… like last time?
- What if I don’t know what to say?
- What if she doesn’t like me?
Blah, blah, blah.
Of course, this causes your heart rate to spike, and now you have approach anxiety.
Your brain is trying to figure out exactly what will happen in the future, or it’s replaying what happened in the past. It’s everywhere except exactly where you need it…
Right here, right now, in the present moment.
So then how do you shut off your brain so it doesn’t sabotage you before you get to approach the girl?
That’s easy. Don’t think.
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Don’t simulate fantasy scenarios in your mind. Let those thoughts just float past you, and ignore them.
Instead, just move your legs, open your mouth, and introduce yourself.
Then see what happens.
If you train your brain to be quiet, and in the present-moment, you won’t have anxiety attacks, your heart won’t beat so quickly, and you won’t be nervous when you approach her.
Approach her before you think yourself out of it. Just go.
3) Breathe Deeply
Wherever you find that anxiety, in your chest, your stomach, or your head: take a deep breathe, and say, “Relax.”
Notice this approach anxiety is only happening to your body, and it’s not you.
You’re not broken.
You’ve just lost control of your mind and body. Once you’ve noticed where it is, then take a deep breath, and tell yourself this word: “Relax.”
You see, if your heart is pounding, and all the blood is being pulled away from your brain, then of course you’re not going to know what to say. You’ll forget all those pickup lines you spent the night memorizing.
Repeat this word: “Relax,” as many times as you need to, while focusing on slowing down your heart rate.
You may already be talking to the girl. In that case, just ask her a simple question like, “What did you do today?”
Just to buy yourself some time. It’s not genius level stuff, but until you learn to calm the heck down, seduction is going to be rough going.
4) Full Immersion
Immersion therapy involves subjecting patients to their deepest fears and phobias.
- If you have a fear of heights, you go rock climbing
- Fear of spiders? Get a pet tarantula
- Fear of talking to beautiful women? Approach and talk to a lot of them
By putting yourself in front of the cause of your anxiety, your unconscious mind will learn “Hey… this hot girl isn’t a tiger, and she’s not going to kill me.”
Personally, I took two years out of my life, and my only pursuit was to overcome my approach anxiety.
I approached hundreds, thousands of women. Now I get to travel the world, work from my laptop, and help men achieve their dreams.
If I can do this, any man can. Including you.
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