To Men Who Have Ever Asked Themselves: Am I Doing Too Much? Here’s Your Answer…
It’s no secret that women just don’t understand the “friend zone.”
I was talking to my sister the other day, and she told me about one of her girlfriends who she thought had been “friend-zoned.”
“Ha! Yeah RIGHT!” I thought to myself… because as you and I both know, for a woman, the “friend zone” isn’t real.
But for men, that unfortunately isn’t true.
So today, I’m going to show you how to avoid being “friend-zoned,” and what to do if you’re already stuck there.
“Boyfriend” Behavior Vs. “Girlfriend” Behavior (And Why This Matters to Her)
Let’s start off with a working definition of the “friend zone”:
The “friend zone” means that a guy is giving “boyfriend behavior” to a girl, but not getting any “girlfriend behavior” in return.
So what are these “boyfriend behaviors” and “girlfriend behaviors”?
Most guys think “girlfriend behaviors” are things girls do in a relationship to show they care. This is partially true… though it’s not the whole story.
At the end of the day, here’s what you need to know about “girlfriend behavior”:
“Girlfriend behavior” = sex. Period. Sex is what determines whether or not you’re in the “friend zone.”
So if you’re giving her “boyfriend behaviors,” but not getting sex, then yes, you are in fact in the “friend zone.”
But what exactly are “boyfriend behaviors”?
This 5-question quiz will show you:
1) Do You Fix Things for Her, And Expect Nothing in Return?
If you’re doing any “handyman” type stuff for a woman, you are either treating her like:
a) your sister, or…
b) your girlfriend.
And that makes it “boyfriend behavior.”
So if you’re doing this for a woman who you aren’t sleeping with… then you, my friend, are in the dreaded “friend zone.”
2) Do You Pay for Any of Her Activities?
If you pay for any of her activities, that’s a BIG “boyfriend behavior.”
This includes things like:
- Taking her to dinner…
- Buying her presents on her birthday…
- Paying for movies…
Essentially, when you do this, you are compensating her for the time you spend together.
Does this sound like a fair relationship?
It shouldn’t. If this woman was actually interested in you, then she would want to spend as much time with you as you do with her — regardless of who pays (and it should never always be you!).
3) Are You Always on Time (Even if She’s Not)?
Now, I’m not suggesting that you should be late for things or for people, not at all.
But if she’s always late — even if it’s by 10 minutes — then she’s wasting your time. And she’s cool with that.
So why are YOU cool with it?
“She’s a student,” you say… “She’s got a lot to juggle.”
Come on — you and I both know better than that.
If she really wanted to spend time with you, then she’d be on time. She’d be there when you told her to be there.
This is a “boyfriend behavior” that many men think isn’t important… but in reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
A woman who knows you’ll wait for her, is a woman who knows she’s in control. And that will never make her want to sleep with you.
4) Do You Always Listen to What She Wants to Talk About?
Who chooses the subject when you’re talking to your male friends? It’s probably a 50/50 split, right?
But what about when you’re with her?
Do you talk about her boyfriend, but never about your girlfriend? (It doesn’t matter if you have a girlfriend or not.)
Do you let her go on and on about her yoga class, but when you bring up Star Wars or D&D, she says things like, “I’m not really interested in that?”
When you tell her how pretty she is, does she say things like, “Stop!” Or…
“You know I don’t really like compliments.”
Does she talk smack about her boyfriend, but when you say, “So why are you with him?”…
Does she say, “I just realized, I have to go”???
These are all huge red flags that your “boyfriend behavior” is not paying off.
5) Are You Always There for Her, No Matter What?
Listen, I know it’s good to be a reliable person. It shows her that you’re an adult, and that you’re man enough for her.
But if you want to eventually sleep with this woman… then she can’t know that you’d bend over backwards for her.
If you answer all of her calls, no matter what ungodly time she calls you, then she’s most likely put you in the “friend zone.”
But the biggest sign you’re in the “friend zone,” and that your “boyfriend behaviors” are not paying off?
If she lays down the ground rules of your friendship.
Phrases like:
- “Promise me that _______…”
- “You HAVE to stop ______…”
- “I love you, but _____…”
Are all dead giveaways that she is the one in control of your relationship.
So What Can You Do About It?
OK, so you know that your “boyfriend behavior” is not paying off. You’re in the freaking “friend zone.”
Now what?
There is one interesting perk of being stuck here — you can use her to meet other, more attractive women!
For example, when you’re out with her, try checking out other women in the room. You can introduce her to these women, and rest assured they’ll stick around to see what your situation is too.
But if you’re dead set on the woman you’re with now… then I do have a (somewhat controversial) solution:
The 3 Steps of Sexual Escalation to Get From Friends to Lovers FAST…
Here’s something new I learned from one of my mentors… it’s a simple, 3-step system to get out of the “friend zone”… and with practically any woman:
The “Subconscious” Step: If she says she wants to be “just friends,” here’s something you can do to position yourself as a potential sexual option in her mind. (Go here to see what I mean.)
The “Desire & Excitement” Step: To create strong sexual tension, she needs you to do this — it challenges her, and allows her to chase you. Here’s what it looks like in action (REALLY effective on hot girls used to getting their way).
The “Seal the Deal” Step: She’s ready to go home with you… now all you have to do is touch her like this, & she’ll be yours.
Now Put It All Together:
Show Me the 3 Steps of Sexual Escalation to Get From Friends to Lovers FAST…
P.S. Here’s something you can do to go straight to Step 3. 🙂
